Husband getting job in LI - Ronkonkoma - where to live? (New York: mortgage, loan)

[momix5]

Yes I agree, you can get more in the south, but I think it can be done on LI, the home would be small but they could probably do it, maybe not right away. I think they also need to see what happens with the market.

[dman72]

Originally Posted by momix5

Yes I agree, you can get more in the south, but I think it can be done on LI, the home would be small but they could probably do it, maybe not right away. I think they also need to see what happens with the market.

Wow, it's even worse than I thought. I just went on realtor.com and looked up houses in Austin between 150 and 225k, 4 bedrooms and 1.5 baths minimum. 200 listings, many of them huge. Some in the a district with a high school that's top 100 national. Why do we live here, again?

[momix5]

I now reside in Fl and it is to say the least not what I thought. and I live in an area of top schools mostly A rated. I cannot speak for Texas but sometimes the grass is not always greener!

[dman72]

Originally Posted by momix5

I now reside in Fl and it is to say the least not what I thought. and I live in an area of top schools mostly A rated. I cannot speak for Texas but sometimes the grass is not always greener!

Please elaborate.

Personally, I despise Florida. My father moved there to the space coast area after retirement and I'm done visiting there after 4 days..and that's on vacation. It's boring, ugly, and there are lots of creepy and shady people. I've been to many places in the country that are inexpensive that I would put miles ahead of Florida.

[momix5]

very true fl is not at all nice, looking to upstate NY or Pa. Do not like the whole right to work state thing.

[amoret68]

FL is not all that, but Austin is a slice of heaven (not Texas, just Austin) I went to UT and fell in love with that town. I would move there in a heartbeat.

Unfortunately, I married a LI native who cannot leave because he has 91 year-old parents, so no Austin for me, at least not for a while. (Did that sound morbid?)

I moved up here from Austin with three close college friends because one of us got into a good program at Stony Brook, and we were told that Stony Brook is a suburb of Manhattan. Ha! We didn't know that it would take 1 3/4 hours by train from Stony Brook (this was pre-Internet). Needless to say, we were all disappointed, and everyone is gone except for me.

I read these boards to gain inside knowledge to get a stronger connection to my community, but I just don't feel it. I'm happy that I met my husband, that we have our daughter, and that we both have permanent appointments at the university, but I still feel disconnected from here.

You know how Austin has fabulous grocery stores? I mean even the HEB is just great compared to what I get here in Suffolk County. You'd think with all of this relative affluence, the shopping centers would be neat and clean, and the grocery stores would be stocked with all the best stuff--not true. (Even the handful of bougie stores are underwhelming.)

Also, you'd think a suburb would have neighborly sidewalks--not true. Long Island is such a car culture, that it is difficult to strike up conversations with your neighbors. And, being a car culture, where many people have horrible commutes, people drive much more aggressively here than they do in Austin. It's like all other drivers and pedestrians are traffic cones, or video game obstacles, not people. When you do get to talk to people face to face, they're usually very nice and neighborly, but that doesn't happen that often. Maybe it will now that gas is $3.87/gallon.

Furthermore, there's no, um, weirdness here (either in the "Keep Austin Weird" sense, or just in the creativity of the populace). In Austin, people make stuff; here, people buy stuff. There much conformity and materialism here, and it's very easy to get swept up in it.

When I was in Texas, I thought New York was liberal/progressive/whatever. Not so. The last presidential election--in 2004, when everyone should have known better--was split fairly evenly b/n Kerry and Bush (though you won't see too many Bush stickers at the University).

On the plus side, there is the City, which only takes an hour or so on Ronkonkoma line (although some native LIers NEVER go into Manhattan).

Also, unlike Texas, we don't have a governor with financial ties in the pharmaceutical industry, so our eleven year-old girls aren't legally required to get the HPV vaccine (it's so new and unproven, why make it a law?).

Unless you can earn a good salary on your own, you might be better off renting a small place until your oldest is in school. Daycare expenses are a nightmare. I pay $503 every two weeks for my 4 year-old--that's $13,000 a year. You can find cheaper places, though. My friend pays only around $11,000 for her kid to go to a decent place. But still, that's a lot more money than you would pay in Texas.

Also, keep in mind that rentals here aren't what you'd get in Austin. People rent out the basement studios of their ranch homes and expect you to pay $1,000 a month for the privilege. If you rent in a complex (and Ronkonkoma has a few of those), you will pay more money (and they probably won't be as new as what you get NW or SE Austin).

If you do stay at home, there are some active Mother Centers on Long Island. That would be a good place to meet people and secure playdates.

I hope this doesn't sound too negative. I don't know you, so LI might be a great fit for you and your family. Good luck!

[dman72]

Originally Posted by amoret68

FL is not all that, but Austin is a slice of heaven (not Texas, just Austin) I went to UT and fell in love with that town. I would move there in a heartbeat.

Unfortunately, I married a LI native who cannot leave because he has 91 year-old parents, so no Austin for me, at least not for a while. (Did that sound morbid?)

I moved up here from Austin with three close college friends because one of us got into a good program at Stony Brook, and we were told that Stony Brook is a suburb of Manhattan. Ha! We didn't know that it would take 1 3/4 hours by train from Stony Brook (this was pre-Internet). Needless to say, we were all disappointed, and everyone is gone except for me.

I read these boards to gain inside knowledge to get a stronger connection to my community, but I just don't feel it. I'm happy that I met my husband, that we have our daughter, and that we both have permanent appointments at the university, but I still feel disconnected from here.

You know how Austin has fabulous grocery stores? I mean even the HEB is just great compared to what I get here in Suffolk County. You'd think with all of this relative affluence, the shopping centers would be neat and clean, and the grocery stores would be stocked with all the best stuff--not true. (Even the handful of bougie stores are underwhelming.)

Also, you'd think a suburb would have neighborly sidewalks--not true. Long Island is such a car culture, that it is difficult to strike up conversations with your neighbors. And, being a car culture, where many people have horrible commutes, people drive much more aggressively here than they do in Austin. It's like all other drivers and pedestrians are traffic cones, or video game obstacles, not people. When you do get to talk to people face to face, they're usually very nice and neighborly, but that doesn't happen that often. Maybe it will now that gas is $3.87/gallon.

Furthermore, there's no, um, weirdness here (either in the "Keep Austin Weird" sense, or just in the creativity of the populace). In Austin, people make stuff; here, people buy stuff. There much conformity and materialism here, and it's very easy to get swept up in it.

When I was in Texas, I thought New York was liberal/progressive/whatever. Not so. The last presidential election--in 2004, when everyone should have known better--was split fairly evenly b/n Kerry and Bush (though you won't see too many Bush stickers at the University).

On the plus side, there is the City, which only takes an hour or so on Ronkonkoma line (although some native LIers NEVER go into Manhattan).

Also, unlike Texas, we don't have a governor with financial ties in the pharmaceutical industry, so our eleven year-old girls aren't legally required to get the HPV vaccine (it's so new and unproven, why make it a law?).

Unless you can earn a good salary on your own, you might be better off renting a small place until your oldest is in school. Daycare expenses are a nightmare. I pay $503 every two weeks for my 4 year-old--that's $13,000 a year. You can find cheaper places, though. My friend pays only around $11,000 for her kid to go to a decent place. But still, that's a lot more money than you would pay in Texas.

Also, keep in mind that rentals here aren't what you'd get in Austin. People rent out the basement studios of their ranch homes and expect you to pay $1,000 a month for the privilege. If you rent in a complex (and Ronkonkoma has a few of those), you will pay more money (and they probably won't be as new as what you get NW or SE Austin).

If you do stay at home, there are some active Mother Centers on Long Island. That would be a good place to meet people and secure playdates.

I hope this doesn't sound too negative. I don't know you, so LI might be a great fit for you and your family. Good luck!

I've lived here all my life, but I've also traveled all over and before my son was born, I spent most of my weekends in Manhattan. Your post, unfortunately, is spot on. I have good friends here, but that's because I've had 30+ years to make them. It must be hard for new people.

The culture out here is completely different from the city, and Stony Brook is not even close to a real college town. You can find "weird" people if you look hard, but conformity is more the norm. Keeping up with the Joneses is the a#1 priority here.

I'll tell you the truth..if my wife wasn't a tenured teacher here, we'd be out. The cost of living alone is enough to drive many people out. Long Island is no different than any other suburb, especially for people who never go to NYC, which is a good portion of the population. I've seen 4 or 5 areas in the US that are nicer, less expensive, and are at least in big college towns or outside decent sized cities. Athens Ga, Chapel Hill/Durham NC, the suburbs of richmond VA, Austin Tx, suburbs of San Antonio (not weird but dirt cheap and close to Austin)..and there are others.

[amoret68]

Athens, Chapel Hill, Portland, Olympia (WA) are all on my short list. Like your wife, our tenured jobs are too secure to give up. Also, we bought our house five years ago (which is better than three years ago) and, with several updated houses languishing for sale in my neighborhood, I'm concerned that we won't be able to sell our house for a while.

[Transpl]

Welcome to Long island! I'm a recent transplant as well. I haven't lived in Austin since '91 but have the fondest memories of the lakes, the music, the people and the food!

Don't be put off by the "beware" posts. Look for a nice rental, roackafeller05 listed some great towns that were a bit too far for my city commute but would be great working on the Island. With prices declining and no neccesity to live near the city you have more buying power than most when the time comes.

Enjoy the adventure, my family is having a blast. The beeches, restaurants and things to do and see are many. Not to mention the city. I've traveled quite a bit with my family and feel blessed to be here.

Best of Luck.

[dman72]

Originally Posted by amoret68

Athens, Chapel Hill, Portland, Olympia (WA) are all on my short list. Like your wife, our tenured jobs are too secure to give up. Also, we bought our house five years ago (which is better than three years ago) and, with several updated houses languishing for sale in my neighborhood, I'm concerned that we won't be able to sell our house for a while.

If you want to sell in the near future, you will probably take a hit.
I know that's what I'm looking at too, but I'll probably buy in the same area, so it's robbing from Peter to pay Paul. Pay down as much equity as you can.

Now, none of those areas are perfect..almost everywhere in the country has a higher crime rate than here, but, that can't be your only measure. If Portland's weather is anything like Seattle, I don't think I could live there (I was only in the Pacific Nw in the summer). Athens has a great nightlife for a small town, and probably enough weird people to counteract the more, eh, Southern Frat Jock aspect that can rear it's ugly head. Anywhere you go in the south has a bit more crime and has religious conservatism to deal with..but here, you have a " I want to be rich and screw everybody else" conservatism, which isn't really much better. That's the biggest problem with an otherwise great area like Charlottesville, Va (UVA is there), which is a great town, but outside of it you are surrounded by some serious bible thumping.

Regardless..I can't encourage anyone to come here unless they are going to be making over 150K household.