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Old 09-30-2008, 08:44 AM
 
Location: Inis Fada
16,966 posts, read 34,702,389 times
Reputation: 7723

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael84 View Post
Most people spend over 30k on a wedding. We wouldn't care about eloping, but our parents would never speak to us again if we did something like that.

I saved $14,000 in one year of work, and I made about 48,000 last year before taxes. I can't possibly save more than what I do. I'm sacrificing a lot right now so we can pay for a wedding and a house. I live on my own, pay all my bills, and I still manage to save...so don't even say I have to watch where my money goes. I never spend anything on entertainment.
If you want a nice wedding -- I can understand -- but we know you understand where we're coming from as well.

I told my mom if she wants a big wedding, she's paying. (I was too young to realize then that I should have asked for the money for a deposit on a house.)

If parents know that there is a potential for grandchildren in their future, they tend to cave in more easily! If they know that their grandchildren are going to be cooped up in some apartment as opposed to having grass under their cute little grandchild toes -- well you see where I am going here.

Is it too late to talk your parents (and future in-laws) into scaling back the wedding a little? If you present your concerns about buying a home and wanting to invest your money into a home where you can someday raise their grandchildren....

I do wish you the best of luck with both your upcoming wedding and home search
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Old 09-30-2008, 08:47 AM
 
Location: Concrete jungle where dreams are made of.
8,900 posts, read 15,926,305 times
Reputation: 1819
I've hinted it, but it doesn't work. My parents are paying 2 mortgages in Florida and are almost going into foreclosure with one of the places. So, my parents are struggling too much financially to help us. His parents are retired and still live in the house he grew up in and it's paid off. But, they have 2 other kids and didn't help them with a down payment or their wedding, so I doubt they would help him.
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Old 09-30-2008, 08:47 AM
 
13,510 posts, read 17,028,088 times
Reputation: 9691
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael84 View Post
Trust me, we aren't the type to Keep up with the Jonses. We don't spend money on expensive things or anything like that. Instead of going out, we sit home and watch tv and spend time together. We aren't like the stereotypical Long Island couple who wants to show off how much money they have. The reception hall was a good amount of that money, since I wanted to go to the place by my house that I grew up going to.

You do what you want to do, but the simple fact is..you're going to be spending 25K on something that is completely unnecessary, but you are worrying about affording a house. It makes no sense.

You've chosen to splurge on one day because you think that's what you're supposed to do. If your parents insist on it..they should pay for it. Otherwise, you can't expect sympathy. The money spent on weddings on LI is a sinful waste.
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Old 09-30-2008, 08:48 AM
 
13,510 posts, read 17,028,088 times
Reputation: 9691
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael84 View Post
I've hinted it, but it doesn't work. My parents are paying 2 mortgages in Florida and are almost going into foreclosure with one of the places. So, my parents are struggling too much financially to help us. His parents are retired and still live in the house he grew up in and it's paid off. But, they have 2 other kids and didn't help them with a down payment or their wedding, so I doubt they would help him.
..which makes spending 25K on a wedding an even bigger sin. You're buying hair gel for a bunch of brutes for the next 20 years.
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Old 09-30-2008, 08:50 AM
 
1,058 posts, read 3,487,555 times
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Default I Totally Agree: drift not a plunge.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TomMoser View Post
I believe we will drift (not plunge) lower until sometime next year at which point we will flatten out and start to return to normal 2% to 3% annual appreciation.
I think you are on the mark. As I said earlier Home prices on LI will settle down at a 10% to 30% decline. The depreciation rate will vary depending on local conditions. There are also much longer term trends that will negatively effect LI home prices over the next few years that have nothing to do with the current financial "crisis."

Home prices must come into line with typical family incomes. The old rules will once again apply: 20% down, good credit, and steady job. Banks will again apply the standard conservative ratio of income to home price of 1:2.5 or 1:3.

I think you put too much confidence in Congress passing the bailout. I don't think it should happen and with its defeat on Monday, and as I write this the market is already up by over 200 pts., it seems unlikely to get passage in present form.

The collective wisdom of the American people says no to bailing out Wall Street.
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Old 09-30-2008, 08:52 AM
 
Location: Concrete jungle where dreams are made of.
8,900 posts, read 15,926,305 times
Reputation: 1819
Quote:
Originally Posted by dman72 View Post
..which makes spending 25K on a wedding an even bigger sin. You're buying hair gel for a bunch of brutes for the next 20 years.

It probably won't be 25,000. It might be more than 18, 20k. We're saving as much as we possibly can. My wedding dress is used from the 1940s and was only about $100. Compare that to my friends outside of Long Island who have spent $800 on theirs. We're going to get things from dollar tree to decorate the reception hall. I'm aware of how much we have to save; it's mostly the reception hall that the money is being spent on, and the fact that I have a lot of friends/family going. Also, we're going to get some of that money back, so it's not like 20,000 will be all down the drain.
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Old 09-30-2008, 08:54 AM
 
13,510 posts, read 17,028,088 times
Reputation: 9691
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael84 View Post
It probably won't be 25,000. It might be more than 18, 20k. We're saving as much as we possibly can. My wedding dress is used from the 1940s and was only about $100. Compare that to my friends outside of Long Island who have spent $800 on theirs. We're going to get things from dollar tree to decorate the reception hall. I'm aware of how much we have to save; it's mostly the reception hall that the money is being spent on.
You can have it in someones backyard.

For the last time and I will leave you alone: you don't HAVE to do any of this to get married. You WANT to do it.
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Old 09-30-2008, 08:55 AM
 
Location: Inis Fada
16,966 posts, read 34,702,389 times
Reputation: 7723
Quote:
Originally Posted by dman72 View Post
..and think of the people whose pockets you're putting money into Limo drivers? Dj's? The people who own catering halls? Blech.
Don't forget the flowers. A friend of mine is a high end florist; she has girls who don't bat an eye at $1K centerpieces. *thud* Sorry, I still cant get past that waste of money.

My mom made a big fuss over altar flowers for my wedding. I called the church to find out if there was another wedding that day so I could split the cost with the other bride. Turns out I couldn't be so lucky. Then there were pew bows, runners -- ugh! Bride's bouquet, toss away bouquet, flower girl, maid of honor & bridesmaids bouquets, boutenerres (sp?) MOB flowers, MOG flowers.....

The caterers usually have florists, photogs and such affiliated with them. These service people pay a kick back to the hall to be on their preferred vendor list. And who is footing the bill for this kickback (on top of everything else)? Mr. & Mrs Newly Married!

I am curious to see if big LI weddings will go the way of the dinosaur as the economy takes a bigger dump and the price of homes slides. Tough times might cause people to take a good, hard look at their priorities.
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Old 09-30-2008, 09:07 AM
 
Location: Kings Park & Jamesport
3,180 posts, read 10,538,613 times
Reputation: 1092
Congrats......sounds like your doing your best to keep the cost down......in the end you will break even or come close on your wedding. Keep saving and best of luck!
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Old 09-30-2008, 09:11 AM
 
Location: Concrete jungle where dreams are made of.
8,900 posts, read 15,926,305 times
Reputation: 1819
Thank you. I'm trying not to expect a lot of money back so i'm not disappointed if I see we don't get much back from the guests lol
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