Poor kid in a rich district..... (Hewlett, Hewlett Harbor: middle-class, home, school district)

[StephM]

Some friends were discussing this. With the market tanking, many people can now afford to be in top districts. One concern many of us had is our children being the poor kid in a rich district, and never being able to keep up with their peers.

Some of us felt it was better to have the top district, and the child would learn that its just life to have someone richer, prettier, smarter, etc. than you. Others felt that being the poor kid could have a severe negative impact on the child.

So, what do you think?

[suzook]

i think this is typical in ANY sd on long island. our kids are spoiled(inc mine). i think our kids need to get back to basics along with us.

[KellyFG]

Here is a thread from a while back on this very topic

http://www.city-data.com/forum/long-...ml#post1608804

[omigawd]

The problem is, if you're "poor" in a "rich" district, your child is going to be an outcast. Harsh to say but very true. It's not like a middle class district where there are some who have a little more or a little less and it all evens out. If you're in a "rich" district and can't keep up, your kid is going to have a VERY hard go of it.

At your child's age, they're not going to truly understand the "realities of life" (and I'm talking "kids" any age under 20). All it's going to do is to destroy their self-esteem and make them feel "less than". As adults, we can understand it and rationalize it. Kids CANNOT (no matter what they may say)


(not sure what district you're talking about --- is it a TRULY "rich" district or just better than where you are? And if it's that "rich", how would you afford a home there, even with prices slightly declining?)

[AndreaII]

Kids reflect parents' attitudes - so if you drum into them they're inferior due to your own financial circumstances, they'll probably be miserable. But if you don't, they'll be fine.

My kids went through a school district that had quite a number of rich, spoiled kids. But not all the kids in the district were from well-off backgrounds like that; in fact I'd say that there were more middle class kids in the district overall. My kids certainly never suffered from envy, they had many friends, some very well off with many material advantages, and yet they never begged for things.

It really has more to do with the attitude of the family than anything else (and how materialistic the family is).

[AndreaII]

Originally Posted by StephM

Some friends were discussing this. With the market tanking, many people can now afford to be in top districts. One concern many of us had is our children being the poor kid in a rich district, and never being able to keep up with their peers.

Some of us felt it was better to have the top district, and the child would learn that its just life to have someone richer, prettier, smarter, etc. than you. Others felt that being the poor kid could have a severe negative impact on the child.

So, what do you think?

What school district do your questions apply to?

[Mjeacoma]

I grew up with some of the wealthiest on Long Island (Hewlett Harbor) and although I can say a lot of my friends were spoiled to the point of affecting their adulthood (some still mooch off their parents 18 years after high school) they were my friends and I was never made to feel like I wasn't on their level. We were a middle class family in an upper class town but I have nothing but wonderful memories - it's the people and the way their kids are raised. If you child is smart enough they will know who to choose as friends, if they aren't than I suppose they will succumb to being an outcast as someone said.....

I say, don't worry about it.....

[omigawd]

Originally Posted by AndreaII

Kids reflect parents' attitudes - so if you drum into them they're inferior due to your own financial circumstances, they'll probably be miserable. But if you don't, they'll be fine.

My kids went through a school district that had quite a number of rich, spoiled kids. But not all the kids in the district were from well-off backgrounds like that; in fact I'd say that there were more middle class kids in the district overall. My kids certainly never suffered from envy, they had many friends, some very well off with many material advantages, and yet they never begged for things.

It really has more to do with the attitude of the family than anything else (and how materialistic the family is).

You support my opinion. You weren't in a "rich" district -- you were in a middle class district with some who had a little more or a little less and it all evens out.

Parental attitudes have a teeny bit to do with it. You can drum into your kids heads that they are wonderful human beings no matter what they have/don't have. However, when everyone in the school shuns you because you DON'T have or people treat you differently or talk to you differently then, yes, it's going to screw up the kid's self esteem regardless what was taught at home.

[AlexisT]

With the current market, some of those rich kids will not be so rich any more either....

[Mjeacoma]

Originally Posted by AlexisT

With the current market, some of those rich kids will not be so rich any more either....

You speak the truth!