U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > New York > Long Island
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 07-24-2009, 10:58 AM
 
6 posts, read 10,584 times
Reputation: 10

Advertisements

My fiance and I are getting married in 3 months. My family is payi9ng for th wedding so we could use hid money to pay for a home. Based on our credit scores, it was advised that my fiance obtain the mortgage on his own and that I should not be added to the deed until after the wedding. I will be paying for 1/2 of the mortgage and other expenses. I am feeling very vulnerable here since my name does not appear on anything. I asked my fiance to draw up an agreememnt to protect both of us. I want to protect his initial investmest since it his life savings and my contributions towards building the equity in our home. Am I being unreasonable?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 07-24-2009, 11:05 AM
 
3,536 posts, read 4,455,299 times
Reputation: 2401
Honestly, you should wait until you get married first.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-24-2009, 11:32 AM
 
959 posts, read 1,407,615 times
Reputation: 345
Jilly,

Never buy a home together unless you are married. If he buys it on his own without your name on the title, you are screwed if things go bad.

I'm not sure why couples nowadays do everything backwards. Maybe I'm too old fashioned, but just focus on getting married, then get your assets in order, buy a house, have a kid when things are stable, etc.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-24-2009, 11:39 AM
 
2,356 posts, read 3,683,011 times
Reputation: 476
I second bob's opinion, but having said that you should explore the situation that I have....

I'm married, but I do not want to include my wife for the credit score reason....

My attorney said, only "I" will be on the "note" (this is what the bank will consider for the mortgage application process) but my wife will be on the "deed" and the "mortgage".
Check it out.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-24-2009, 11:40 AM
 
151 posts, read 332,997 times
Reputation: 61
Being that his money and credit is being used to buy the home why should you feel vulnerable. You aren't putting anything into it initially. Consider half the mortgage and expenses your paying as rent. Just add your name to the deed once your married.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-24-2009, 11:40 AM
 
270 posts, read 620,998 times
Reputation: 56
Not sure why they advised you not to go in on the mortage with your fiancee unless your credit score is low enough to cause an issue with the bank.

In any case, no - do not purchase property unless your name is on the paperwork. That's just asking for trouble.

That said, insist on having your name on all the paperwork, even if you aren't married. I have purchased real estate with someone before who was my fiancee at the time. The relationship never panned out (although we were together for a good amount of time, just never tied the knot) and we ended up selling the house. If the house was only in one of our names, and if we ended the relationship on a less than amicable note, one of us could have been burned pretty badly. In my case, we parted ways without issue, and all the paperwork was in both our names anyway.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-24-2009, 11:53 AM
 
329 posts, read 543,482 times
Reputation: 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by arangoa79 View Post
Being that his money and credit is being used to buy the home why should you feel vulnerable. You aren't putting anything into it initially. Consider half the mortgage and expenses your paying as rent. Just add your name to the deed once your married.
From a monetary standpoint, I originally agreed with this statement. Further thinking about it, I am not so sure due to the wedding expense.

If the two of them were to pay for the wedding themselves and split the wedding cost equally, the husband would have half of the wedding cost less for the home purchase (the wife would still probably get her half from her parents). Since the wife is in essence paying for the whole wedding (through her parents wedding gift to her) it could be argued that half of the cost of the wedding is her contribution to the down payment.

It does seem much simply to wait however, its not that far away.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-24-2009, 11:54 AM
 
1,917 posts, read 3,024,957 times
Reputation: 752
Call a lawyer and ask.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-24-2009, 12:06 PM
 
6,046 posts, read 7,419,753 times
Reputation: 1866
It is always a bad idea to buy a house with someone who are not married to...yes you will be getting married, but wait until you are...don't do it before. I agree with the previous posters.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-24-2009, 12:23 PM
 
270 posts, read 568,494 times
Reputation: 74
My husband and I weren't even engaged yet when we bought our place, and both our names were put on the mortgage etc. We bought it in 2004 and got married in 2006

But in your situation since it's only 3 months until you get married, it might
make sense just to wait until after the wedding to do everything.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:



Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > New York > Long Island
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top