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You should look into another neighborhood in Brooklyn. Bay Ridge is still nice, lots of community spirit. Bay Ridge is definitely not going ghetto and the schools there I believe are still decent.
If the kids are in elementary school, you should be ok. My neighbor has 2 daughters, she has someone come early in the morning and put them on the bus for her, she also has someone get the kids in the afternoon too until she gets home. Sometimes when they are not there we help out.
It should not be that much of an issue since the bus will pick the kids up and drop them off. Certain districts you can drop the kids off early to school (for breakfast) and have after school care. There are a LOT of parents in the same situation as you so don't worry. You will see the grandparents on weekends and I am sure your dad will want to come over and spend time in a nice green backyard with a grill and maybe a pool, who knows what you will land.
There are a ton of ways to cut expenses but if you still cannot afford it with your current salaries, my advice is to get a house that has mother/daughter setup already, there are a ton out there. Rent out a part of the house until you get up to speed on everything, with that your mortgage will be cut in half. It's not the best scenario but if that is what it takes to get the kids out of Brooklyn and live a better life then do it.
Since you need only after-school care all you need is a part-time baby sitter. It's managable but it might still be useful for one person to work near home. Apart from parts of long island you can also look into parts of queens with good schools for renting.
You might want to investigate LI a little more before making a decision. Look at some homes and prices (Rockville Centre is very pricey...not sure if you could afford it...but there are many nice areas on LI). Do the commute a few days to see if it is not too bad. Look for daycares and price them out. Have the grandparents commute a day to LI to see how feasable it is for them to visit often. Visit the school district you may be looking into for your kids. Of course....number crunch rent/mortgage/taxes, daycare, expenses.
After doing that then make a decision to see which one is a better fit.
My children are in 2nd and 4th grades (this Sept.) so what we really need is after school care. (just thinking out loud here)
Great advice all around, thank you.
That changes things. I still think one of you should have a job on LI. If that other job can pull anything close to what you make now, you can get by on LI. The price of house rentals is down, which would be your biggest expense.
jpg71 - not certain if you are familiar with Brooklyn but yes, it is that bad. The public school system after elementary are not good, especially in my area. But more than that, there is ATTITUDE everywhere! If I want to shop at Target you'd better believe I'm not getting help from salespeople. They run from you (it's happened to me). Of course that's minor but when I think of my kids riding the subway at 14, it's SCARY!! I could go on but my original post pretty much said it all. Thank you for your response, I know I will lose alot but I'm hoping by relocating it will be worth it when my children are older.
Trust me I did the same thing. I grew up in BK and most of my friends moved away. What kept me was being close with my parents, there help with my kids and the crazy home prices.
My daughter went to a middle school for gifted kids, so it kept her separated from the typical Ghetto BK attitudes. For HS she got into Brooklyn tech, Stuyvesant and Laguardia, but I did not wnat her riding the subways. So we looked into catholic school, but with the tuition and fees it was close to 10k. So we decided to just move to LI and spend that 10k on taxes on a home in a good school district.
Now my parents come out every other week to see us and the quality of my childrens life is much better. I ask myself what took me so long.
Trust me I did the same thing. I grew up in BK and most of my friends moved away. What kept me was being close with my parents, there help with my kids and the crazy home prices.
My daughter went to a middle school for gifted kids, so it kept her separated from the typical Ghetto BK attitudes. For HS she got into Brooklyn tech, Stuyvesant and Laguardia, but I did not wnat her riding the subways. So we looked into catholic school, but with the tuition and fees it was close to 10k. So we decided to just move to LI and spend that 10k on taxes on a home in a good school district.
Now my parents come out every other week to see us and the quality of my childrens life is much better. I ask myself what took me so long.
I find it interesting, and comforting and inspirational, that you moved when your daughter entered her HS year. My fear was moving the kids in the teen years especially entering HS anticipating they would have a harder time adjusting at that age when they've already developed friendships in elementary and middle school and would miss their friends etc.
In this regard, and if you don't mind my asking, was it a relatively easy adjustment for your daughter?
As a side note, I started riding the subways to manhattan at age 14 when I entered HS, my brother went with me the 1st day and then I was on my own. I admit, in my mother allowing this (I also had to go to school by myself and cross streets by age 11 to middle school -my mom didn't even teach me how to cross!! I was so nervous I still remember the fear) but I can say that by the time I reached 19 I was WAY more independant and self sufficient than other 19 yr olds I see today. Not necessarily a good thing at all, I moved to Baltimore at 19 for a year and was irresponsible. (talk about an out of the blue piece of info!)
I find it interesting, and comforting and inspirational, that you moved when your daughter entered her HS year. My fear was moving the kids in the teen years especially entering HS anticipating they would have a harder time adjusting at that age when they've already developed friendships in elementary and middle school and would miss their friends etc.
In this regard, and if you don't mind my asking, was it a relatively easy adjustment for your daughter?
As a side note, I started riding the subways to manhattan at age 14 when I entered HS, my brother went with me the 1st day and then I was on my own. I admit, in my mother allowing this (I also had to go to school by myself and cross streets by age 11 to middle school -my mom didn't even teach me how to cross!! I was so nervous I still remember the fear) but I can say that by the time I reached 19 I was WAY more independant and self sufficient than other 19 yr olds I see today. Not necessarily a good thing at all, I moved to Baltimore at 19 for a year and was irresponsible. (talk about an out of the blue piece of info!)
The good thing about her going to a specialized Middle school, her freinds were spread out across brooklyn. I think this made the transition for her alot easier when she went to HS.
Thanks for your response, to answer your questions, the kind of lifestyle we want to lead is pretty much a quiet, go to the library and park on weekends, catch a movie on rainy days, kids karate/dance and very laidback type of living. We both earn 120 annum together and it will be difficult, if not impossible to pay rent/mortgage on just one of our incomes on Long Island. I'm trying to justify in my mind keeping my children in Brooklyn with poor public schools and "ghetto attitude" everywhere just to be close to our famiy or moving them into a MUCH better, safer and greater school community at the risk of them being with a daycare center instead of grandma until 6:30. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts.
As a former Brooklyn resident, I agree the neighborhoods have changed, some for the better, but for the most part have degraded somewhat. Short of East NY/Bushwick/Brownsville, it can't be that bad, can it? If I had to gander, I'd say you were in the south-end of the borough.
That said, do you think you will really find paradise in another location? Rockville Ctr/Mamaroneck are really high-end neighborhoods where you will not be able to "compete" with the locals, and not that you would want to anyway. It's just that you should compare all aspects of quality of life before making the jump. Yes, Brooklyn attitude is not the most desirable social behavior, but have you ever experienced "snooty-ville" attitude? - and that goes for basically the "tri-state area". Such and such lives in a 4 bedroom house, 3 baths, a jacuzzi and a benz in the driveway, yada..yada..yada - this may sound like an exaggeration, but it happens more often than not - I know, I moved out of Brooklyn.
The closeness of family, your parents especially to help with the kids - believe me, there is no price you can place on that. I'm assuming your family gets along well with each other - no daycare, no karate or extra-curricular can replace that. I went to NYC public schools, believe me, they weren't the greatest then either, but all my siblings and friends came out okay and are all relatively successful. It's not where you go to school - it's what you put into it and what you get out of it. The key is to stay away from the bad influences and with caring family around the chances are you will. Suburbs are no less immune to the problems of society than cities - drugs, gangs, early sexual behavior etc, it's all out there.
Your kids are in elementary school now, if the intermediate schools are unacceptable, you could place them in private schools. The city has alot of resources - perhaps a little bit of inconvience - parks (Prospect Park/Central Park/Bronx Zoo), libraries - (Grand Army Plaza, Business Library), museums (where should I start?), you get the idea.
Good Luck with your decision.
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