Abusive mother in Best Yet (Amity: live, car, deal)

[Johninwestbury]

Originally Posted by suzook

LOL, watch out for the town/hamlet police.

I wish our Village would form it's own PD. Only one NCPD car for patrol of the whole village! I know Mineola was trying to form it's own PD.
And here's a story for ya. A bus driver doing some LIRR bus shuttles after a storm came across a tree blocking the road in Old Brookville. The Old Brookville PD came and the officer actually had a chainsaw with him and cleared the fallen tree!
I'd like to see NCPD do that!

[mrsstec]

My oldest child lives with her father who had started hot saucing her when she was 5 and as she was so young and I am just the visiting parent not much was done as it is not considered abuse in my state. I was just informed that her father is still using the method, she is now 9, and that on more than one occasion she has thrown up from the punishment. I wouldn't say it is abuse now really if it is done with self restraint and very rarely but if you know your child threw up last time and do it again and it happens again and then you do it again that becomes abuse. I called children services and they came to my home as my children are here telling me about the incidents and my children confirmed to the workers yet I am uncertain if I should let them go back to dad until the investigation is done.

[LIMA]

Originally Posted by DeadPool1998
I won't defend the act, nor would I ever do it. But it doesn't constitute abuse. Should the children be taken away? That's the consequence of abuse; I don't care your definition. On its face, I would argue that this is a silly position to take. Hitting a child is one thing. Putting pepper sauce on a child's tongue is uncomfortable but harmless.

Originally Posted by amitygirl

you and I are not on the same level of thinking ...and thats ok. I feel it was wrong. I was the one looking into the pain of this little girls eyes. I am not saying the kid should be taken away, CPS does not just go in and remove children so quickly..but it would be reassuring to know someone is watching over them and protecting them from an abusive home. No matter what your personal feelings are on hot sauce, it is not right to use this as a punishment. period.

I would have to agree....if it so bothered you...why not say excuse me mamm, but you're in public...please do that in private...

What if i called and said amitygirl just shoved a hot pepper down this kids throat...it's all i seen... not knowing what transpired before...maybe you have a bet with that kid on eating the hot pepper.... But i seen you, looked to me like you shoved it in....


I have heard of CPS going in and taking kids on complaints and that's that... They come in and do some bs interview and god for bid things aren't what that particular CPSA feels is correct and you could be screwed...
Imagine you have a real bad day and the house is a wreck....{ding dong} oh surprise surprise it's CPS....you're on the hit parade now...clothes here, somewhat messy, dirty dishes in the sink..looking like since last night....better hope when they come back you didn't just get in from work and the kids were playing ruff in the house...or have a bruise...and the question comes up "does mommy and daddy hit you" yes..... see ya...


The only problem i have with your view is you seen this for a moment, and missed the entire earlier moments... Maybe she was going on and on and on.... Maybe she said something off color...
I use tabasco sauce with my dogs so they learn not to chew on things i don't want them too...

I called my brother a jackass once and my dad made me eat soap.... If kids aren't disciplined to some extent look at some of the bs out there...guess what they never had, a beating, punishment, soap or tabasco in the mouth.

I wouldn't squirt tabasco in a kids mouth that doesn't know when to stop answering after having/getting a specific answer...but i would/do straighten them right out....or you'll have a kid answering everyone and there mother back...

[vlorak]

LIMA
I laughed towards the end of your post. I just tend to agree with what you said here. The fear of a mother losing her kids because they were all having ONE bad day. We really don't know what transpired before the sauce incident and we don't know if she has tried everything under the sun before and in her mind the hot sauce seems to work best. Again, not something that I would do, but still not something to lose kids over.

[amitygirl]

[quote=LIMA;10633976]I would have to agree....if it so bothered you...why not say excuse me mamm, but you're in public...please do that in private...

you never know what it may turn into when you confront some one, even in a nice manner.

Everyone has different outlooks.. I do not think this little one was acting up. If she wants to know what it's like when kids act up, , she should come to my house I feel by her keeping it in her pocket, it's something she must do often. I am not looking to go around with this, it is behind me as there is nothing I can do.

[amitygirl]

Originally Posted by vlorak

LIMA
I laughed towards the end of your post. I just tend to agree with what you said here. The fear of a mother losing her kids because they were all having ONE bad day. We really don't know what transpired before the sauce incident and we don't know if she has tried everything under the sun before and in her mind the hot sauce seems to work best. Again, not something that I would do, but still not something to lose kids over.

No one said CPS would of taken away the kids, and they don't unless it is an extreme situation. Beaten, starved, filthy living conditions, etc. . If they are called for any situation, they check out the home and talk to the parents and kids to make sure they are ok. They later do a follow up, given everything is ok, the case is dropped.

Kids are kids. At times they will act up, get tired, cranky, answer back, break something etc. . We as parents should know how to properly discipline and we need patience's with kids. Can't put a little head on big shoulders and expect them to act like adults, they are not. In my own opinion, by this woman carrying hot sauce in her pocket it must be a normal way for her to control her kids and wasn't a first time using this method. On top she was calling her kid names, for one , retarded. To me this woman has a lot to learn about being a parent and how to treat kids. A little wake up call would have been fitting.

[WIHS2006]

Originally Posted by Johninwestbury

I wish our Village would form it's own PD. Only one NCPD car for patrol of the whole village! I know Mineola was trying to form it's own PD.
And here's a story for ya. A bus driver doing some LIRR bus shuttles after a storm came across a tree blocking the road in Old Brookville. The Old Brookville PD came and the officer actually had a chainsaw with him and cleared the fallen tree!
I'd like to see NCPD do that!

I could have sworn there is/was a Village of Westbury Police Department. Maybe it has since been disbanded?

[LIMA]

Originally Posted by amitygirl

No one said CPS would of taken away the kids, and they don't unless it is an extreme situation. Beaten, starved, filthy living conditions, etc. . If they are called for any situation, they check out the home and talk to the parents and kids to make sure they are ok. They later do a follow up, given everything is ok, the case is dropped.

Kids are kids. At times they will act up, get tired, cranky, answer back, break something etc. . We as parents should know how to properly discipline and we need patience's with kids. Can't put a little head on big shoulders and expect them to act like adults, they are not. In my own opinion, by this woman carrying hot sauce in her pocket it must be a normal way for her to control her kids and wasn't a first time using this method. On top she was calling her kid names, for one , retarded. To me this woman has a lot to learn about being a parent and how to treat kids. A little wake up call would have been fitting.

AG cps does wake up calls at there discretion...even you and i could be caught on a off day and be in all kinds of trouble...
AG have you ever had a real loud argument with your husband...now imagine you and the hubby are yelling at eachother while the CPSA is about to ring the bell.....that is taken into there consideration...and it is not a point for you... you are now considered a problem.


AG i hear you kid... Just sometimes things look really worse then they are... im sure if you seen the way i handle my kids when they are told no 6 times you might not agree with the 7th answer i give them...

You could be right AG... she could be a bit harsh at home...maybe worse, but in my experience the bad ones never let you see....
Also as children we love our parents..only knowing them...
I love mine... I don't discipline my kids exactly as my dad did with me... but i love my dad.. a little ruff...and i'll bet cps would have thought the soap and jackass at 13 was a little over the top....and they would have asked does your dad hit you...of which the game would have been over..

AG now let me tell you something about foster parents...as i have seen many many foster kids, THEY are NOT 75% of the time going to be better off.... It's amazing i sleep at all knowing some of the horrors those kids went thru...
Simply disturbing and disgusting what has happened to some kids in foster care and exactly why i am PRO executioner style punishments...


Trust me AG...i could tell you stories and let you meet some, that if that lady woulda made her do a funnel of tabasco sauce you wouldn't even flinch now...

It is a very scary line to play with when thinking of a childs best interest...Especially when you know the other side of the fence....

[amitygirl]

Lima

I know someone who had a personal experience with CPS..way too long to get into... anyway, they told this mother if she does not straighten up they would remove her and make her go to counseling. If you want to know the truth, I don't feel cps did their job.. they really are suppose to help out the families, and they just don't yank children away from their parents.


Foster kids is a sad horrible life. This is close to home as my cousin and her husband adopted a 12 year old. I heard more than I would of liked to. The girl is coming along, but she has a long road ahead of her.

I don't know the story with this family at the market..but what i saw with my own two eyes and heard with my ears I was truly sick. This mother did not look like a 'normal' mother. She was extremely unkept. about 400lbs over weight, dirty looking and her hair looked liked it hasn't been washed in a month... when I first heard her talking to this little one and calling her names my son and I looked at each other stunned. After the hot sauce came out and to hear her tone when she said " now you know why I bring it with me" well..that made me heart sick. This little girl was probably 4 years old..maybe 5 but that is pushing it..to me, she was just a baby. I am sorry if anyone thinks I over reacted, but seeing it and reading it may be two different things. I will say it another million times,,, I wished they would of found her just to have her checked out and make sure these kids were really ok. I have two kids and never in a million years would I even think of calling them names and using hot sauce to make them be quiet... loving parents do not do this in my world.

On that note, I am not looking to keep rehashing this. It's over and done with and behind me. Can we just let this rest? Thanks.

[mkozlpn]

Amitygirl, What you did was fantastic, more people need to get involved when they see this kind of abuse. If people who abuse children are reported more often maybe word will get out and these monster will stop/
Don't "beat yourself up" over this, you did your best!