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Old 09-18-2009, 10:28 AM
 
Location: Nassau, Long Island, NY
15,734 posts, read 16,024,786 times
Reputation: 6376
Quote:
Originally Posted by LIOC View Post
Yes but in the age of Google they will always be knows as the guys that gang banged that girl. And in few years when they are looking for a job it will not be a selling point to perceptive employers.
That is the risk you take when you engage in socially unacceptable behavior, be it criminal or not. When they were engaging in this act, did they really think it would be sworn to secrecy? Too bad, so sad. The guys will get by better than the girl will.
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Old 09-18-2009, 10:30 AM
 
Location: Cooper City, by way of NYC
2,756 posts, read 4,075,690 times
Reputation: 460
Amen - to that - everyone involved here needs to take responsibility. Poor decision making on all parts, but not one worth going to jail for. I see everyone making a million and one excuses as to why she lied. She lied plain and simple! As a mother of 2 boys and as a woman I can see both sides of things. I do not condone violence against women, but I don't condone my boys getting locked up for being in the middle of some bad sexual experience. Bad all the way around!
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Old 09-18-2009, 10:33 AM
 
Location: Nassau, Long Island, NY
15,734 posts, read 16,024,786 times
Reputation: 6376
Quote:
Originally Posted by OhBeeHave View Post
We've yet to see any photos of Danmell Ndonye. All parties involved made bad decisions, resulting in an horrific mess and no charges, Ms. Ndonye's photo should be released as well.

You've brought up good points about the rape test, etc. What I would like to know is what transpired between her and her boyfriend when she showed up at her room and he was waiting for her.


FWIW: I am the mother of a son and daughter. One rule many of the other moms and myself have is no girls alone with any boys in any rooms with doors closed or no parents home. We realize that there's innocent temptation, as well as false accusations. It's not foolproof, but what else can a parent do short of banning the opposite sex?

My son will be heading off to school next year. Over the years we've raised him to respect young women, no means no. We've pointed out incidents (including Hofstra) as teachable moments -- personal responsibility and the results of poor judgement.


As a parent, I can't imagine the pain that the parents of the accused and the alleged victim are feeling right now.
If she is charged with falsely reporting a crime (which should happen in all fairness), I am sure it will be.

Good parents do the best they can to teach their kids responsibility. Hopefully the lessons take!
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Old 09-18-2009, 10:35 AM
 
Location: Nassau, Long Island, NY
15,734 posts, read 16,024,786 times
Reputation: 6376
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chelsa1075 View Post
Amen - to that - everyone involved here needs to take responsibility. Poor decision making on all parts, but not one worth going to jail for. I see everyone making a million and one excuses as to why she lied. She lied plain and simple! As a mother of 2 boys and as a woman I can see both sides of things. I do not condone violence against women, but I don't condone my boys getting locked up for being in the middle of some bad sexual experience. Bad all the way around!
I am glad she recanted and nobody will be going to prison for a long time and labelled a sex offender because of this incident. It just goes to show that if you mess around with a person who may be unstable they can drag you down with them.
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Old 09-18-2009, 10:36 AM
 
3,424 posts, read 3,324,051 times
Reputation: 1769
Quote:
Originally Posted by LIOC View Post
That was a really long post to say men are responsible for their actions/choices but women aren't. In fact men are also responsible for a woman's actions and choices as well as their own.

Does that sum it up?


I personally would rather try raising a girl to be responsible for her actions and to hopefully make good choices.

I agree...there was a post earlier about a young woman going off to college for the first time and feeling insecure and just wanting to fit in and so forth..thus allowing herself to become the subject of a gangbang.

Although Im unable to connect all those dots for insecurity to evolve into a full on pornographic smutfest...Even if that were the case, it speaks more about the parents' poor job of instilling confidence into their daughter, than it says about the state of college atmospheres.

I just dont think anyone would allow some guy commit the crime of falsely accusing someone of an illegality just because he was "insecure" himself. That just doesnt add up to me, and I doubt anyone else would buy it either if the roles were reversed.

Supposedly this young lady will undergo a psychological counseling program before they will decide whether to bring charges against her. Because they say she appears to be troubled.

However I find it strange that no one bothered to determined whether the young men could have possibly acted as a result of psychological trouble before arresting them and charging them with rape. Again, I just think this is a flat out double standard.

why not just prohibit people from consuming alcohol altogether? That way, if someone got too drunk to consent to sex, that person would in part be able to be held accountable for their own mishap; if done under the influence of alcohol.

I dont understand how anyone could accept a law prohibiting sex with an extremely drunk person, when only THAT person could determine if they were truly too intoxicated to consent, IN HINDSIGHT. Under that theory, technically all this young lady had to do is tell cops that she was drunk, and her story would have been corroborated regardless of whether she were drunk or not.
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Old 09-18-2009, 10:38 AM
 
Location: Long Island
973 posts, read 1,086,628 times
Reputation: 319
Quote:
Originally Posted by I_Love_LI_but View Post
That is the risk you take when you engage in socially unacceptable behavior, be it criminal or not. When they were engaging in this act, did they really think it would be sworn to secrecy? Too bad, so sad. The guys will get by better than the girl will.
I agree on the 1st part. But this was taken to a whole different level and became national news.

And the guys should get by better in this case, she is the one that lied. But I still think this is more then they deserve. And if the known facts stay as they are currently it is her fault that it became news worthy

side note - I'm not resolving the guys of responsibility of a very dumb act, but what they did was not as bad as what she did after.
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Old 09-18-2009, 10:38 AM
 
1,189 posts, read 1,681,117 times
Reputation: 1857
Quote:
Originally Posted by LIOC View Post
That was a really long post to say men are responsible for their actions/choices but women aren't. In fact men are also responsible for a woman's actions and choices as well as their own.

Does that sum it up?
That's not what I said at all. I am only talking about this ONE case, and the SIX specific people involved here.

But, according to your logic, a woman would need to take responsibility for getting raped if she made the choice to wear a revealing outfit, be a flirt, or be out late at night. Because those aren't good choices, right?
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Old 09-18-2009, 10:38 AM
 
270 posts, read 598,987 times
Reputation: 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by I_Love_LI_but View Post
Hofstra is TTT. You really think they have fraternity houses? Even if they did, if the frat house is on campus it's still part of Hofstra and should be subject to the same rules as dorms.
Point well taken - but my original assertion still stands - just because college kids have alcohol does not mean the University allows it.
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Old 09-18-2009, 10:39 AM
 
Location: Inis Fada
13,698 posts, read 15,402,506 times
Reputation: 4542
Quote:
Originally Posted by I_Love_LI_but View Post
They are not forever tarnished because she recanted her story and everyone now thinks they were falsely accused. SHE is the culprit now.

Hofstra should spend money making it a safe place, not spend money on publicity to make it LOOK like a safe place.

Deeming her academically dishonest because of this? Kind of a stretch IMO. Hofstra is a third tier toilet (especially the law school) anyway so they have no great reputation in the first place.
The names of these young men will be accesible through Google, through Newspaper archives, on searches of blogs, etc., until God knows how long.

Hofstra's security was breached by an employee. Whether or not he participated in the sexual activity, he should lose his job for giving non Hofstra students access to a Hofstra dorm. His breaching the system (which up until this incident worked) does not mean that the campus is not a safe place.

If an individual can engage in dishonesty at the penal level, academic dishonesty is like stealing candy from a baby. Whether or not you feel Hofstra is whatever tier legal school, the fact is that the name has been stained.

Thinking about it, the school did graduate Bernie Madoff. If they graduate one scam artist, what's one more?
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Old 09-18-2009, 10:40 AM
 
1,189 posts, read 1,681,117 times
Reputation: 1857
Quote:
Originally Posted by LIOC View Post
Yes but in the age of Google they will always be knows as the guys that gang banged that girl. And in few years when they are looking for a job it will not be a selling point to perceptive employers. Or they are randomly Googled by friends or perspective in-laws, etc...
Well, they were proud enough of the gang bang to digitally record it.
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