Moving to Nassau.. HELP!!! (New York, Hempstead: middle-class, real estate, apartment)

[kimi9507]

My boyfriend & I will be moving, with our 2 1/2 year old daughter, to Nassau County on May 1st from Western NY. We have both applied at SCO Services, and are still waiting to hear back from them. We can't find an apartment until we have income varification, and I can't find a day care until we know where we're going to live. I am very interested in finding about getting Child Care Assistance since the 1 facility I've been able to find online that listed their tuition prices, said that for 5 days of care it would cost $250 (I pay $70 right now lol). Please give any advice you can. Thank you.

[Joanne teacher]

Kimi, I know lots of people who struggle with child care expenses and none of them would qualify for child care assitance. Most people I know try to change work schedules or make arrangements with other family members so that they don't have to pay for 5 full days. Sorry, but I don't know if you are going to find the answer that you are looking for.

[I_Love_LI_but]

Originally Posted by kimi9507

My boyfriend & I will be moving, with our 2 1/2 year old daughter, to Nassau County on May 1st from Western NY. We have both applied at SCO Services, and are still waiting to hear back from them. We can't find an apartment until we have income varification, and I can't find a day care until we know where we're going to live. I am very interested in finding about getting Child Care Assistance since the 1 facility I've been able to find online that listed their tuition prices, said that for 5 days of care it would cost $250 (I pay $70 right now lol). Please give any advice you can. Thank you.

Since you are moving here to be near your BF's family, how about putting them on as the "Child Care Assistance?" In a previous thread you mentioned your rent currently is in the $400s per month. Coming to LI, you will easily quadruple that rent. Is SCO Services going to quadruple what you are making in your current location? If his family wants you here so bad, they should help you out. Child care assistance from the Dept. of Social Services is very hard to get and you would only be eligible if you were so poor that you could not possibly pay the high rents here, so you are in a Catch 22 unless his family helps you, either with watching your kids or with a place to stay. Proceed with caution when moving here.

[Port North]

Originally Posted by kimi9507

My boyfriend & I will be moving, with our 2 1/2 year old daughter, to Nassau County on May 1st from Western NY. We have both applied at SCO Services, and are still waiting to hear back from them. We can't find an apartment until we have income varification, and I can't find a day care until we know where we're going to live. I am very interested in finding about getting Child Care Assistance since the 1 facility I've been able to find online that listed their tuition prices, said that for 5 days of care it would cost $250 (I pay $70 right now lol). Please give any advice you can. Thank you.

First of all I want to say that I am not judging you because I grew up in Western New York and I know it is a depressed area where many people (yes even non-minorities)get government help for various things. There was time ( back in the early 80's when there was 15% unemployment in the Buffalo area) that my family got food stamps for a short spell to make ends meet (if only my current neighbors knew!). I also qualified for the NYS State tuition program that paid for part of my college tuition back in the early 90's because my father was on disability after suffereing 4 heart attacks! So I understand that sometimes S--T Happens in life and you may need some temporary help to get through it.

However, I have to tell you that it is virtually unheard of for a non-minority to ask for government assistance on Long Island. It is VERY VERY looked down upon here. That is why I don't recommend moving here if you can't pay for things on your own.

Also, some areas my not accept you and your boyfriend having a child without being married. That may seem like something out of the 1950's to you or having to do with religion, but its actually has a more sinister reason. Many people here of the mindset that if you have an unplanned pregnancy you should do away with it instead of being a single parent. People here have no compassion for anyone that makes any mistakes in life or who's life beats to a different drum. I may think personally that marriage is best way to go for having kids but I would rather see a child live in imperfect conditions than not live at all. A large percentage of people on Long Island would disagree with me on this issue.

So I want to warn you what you are getting into before you move here. It is a very unforgiving place compared to where you are coming from. Think hard before you move here!

[kimi9507]

Originally Posted by Port North

Also, some areas my not accept you and your boyfriend having a child without being married. That may seem like something out of the 1950's to you or having to do with religion, but its actually has a more sinister reason. Many people here of the mindset that if you have an unplanned pregnancy you should do away with it instead of being a single parent. People here have no compassion for anyone that makes any mistakes in life or who's life beats to a different drum. I may think personally that marriage is best way to go for having kids but I would rather see a child live in imperfect conditions than not live at all. A large percentage of people on Long Island would disagree with me on this issue.

I understand that people might judge my situation.. & to make it worse, he's black, i'm white w/blonde hair & blue eyes, & our daughter is light skinned with bright blue eyes. We've been judged. At this point in my life, i couldn't care less about what people think of me.

[I_Love_LI_but]

Originally Posted by Port North

However, I have to tell you that it is virtually unheard of for a non-minority to ask for government assistance on Long Island. It is VERY VERY looked down upon here. That is why I don't recommend moving here if you can't pay for things on your own.

What? Please. You can find non-minorities in the system galore ... some scamming like crazy. And it's not looked down upon for minorities? Plenty of minorities don't want government help and don't condone it either.

Originally Posted by Port North

Also, some areas my not accept you and your boyfriend having a child without being married. That may seem like something out of the 1950's to you or having to do with religion, but its actually has a more sinister reason. Many people here of the mindset that if you have an unplanned pregnancy you should do away with it instead of being a single parent. People here have no compassion for anyone that makes any mistakes in life or who's life beats to a different drum. I may think personally that marriage is best way to go for having kids but I would rather see a child live in imperfect conditions than not live at all. A large percentage of people on Long Island would disagree with me on this issue.

Do away with it? This LI'er would encourage them to get married, not automatically think abortion.

Originally Posted by Port North

So I want to warn you what you are getting into before you move here. It is a very unforgiving place compared to where you are coming from. Think hard before you move here!

Come on now! I don't think anyone is going to pin a scarlet "F" on her and her baby's daddy (for fornicator) or a scarlet "B" on her child (for b____d). I would say "think hard before moving here" only because of the financial situation they may find themselves in and it all depends on how much money they can make here. Upstate they have reasonable rent and reasonable child care costs. If they move downstate to this area, those costs will skyrocket to over 4x the current cost. Unless their pay is quadrupled, it is going to be very tough for them, but, unfortunately NOT tough enough to score any meaningful public assistance for childcare or anything else ... to get that you have to be destitute, and if you are going to end up destitute here, why move here?

[Coney]

Originally Posted by Port North

First of all I want to say that I am not judging you because I grew up in Western New York and I know it is a depressed area where many people (yes even non-minorities)get government help for various things. There was time ( back in the early 80's when there was 15% unemployment in the Buffalo area) that my family got food stamps for a short spell to make ends meet (if only my current neighbors knew!). I also qualified for the NYS State tuition program that paid for part of my college tuition back in the early 90's because my father was on disability after suffereing 4 heart attacks! So I understand that sometimes S--T Happens in life and you may need some temporary help to get through it.

However, I have to tell you that it is virtually unheard of for a non-minority to ask for government assistance on Long Island. It is VERY VERY looked down upon here. That is why I don't recommend moving here if you can't pay for things on your own.

Also, some areas my not accept you and your boyfriend having a child without being married. That may seem like something out of the 1950's to you or having to do with religion, but its actually has a more sinister reason. Many people here of the mindset that if you have an unplanned pregnancy you should do away with it instead of being a single parent. People here have no compassion for anyone that makes any mistakes in life or who's life beats to a different drum. I may think personally that marriage is best way to go for having kids but I would rather see a child live in imperfect conditions than not live at all. A large percentage of people on Long Island would disagree with me on this issue.

So I want to warn you what you are getting into before you move here. It is a very unforgiving place compared to where you are coming from. Think hard before you move here!

What nonsense. There are plenty of middle and upper middle-class couples here who co-habitate and have children together. There are also single mothers here who have no intention of getting married or having a SO and deliberately spend a great deal of money to become a parent. There are also plenty of interracial couples here of all kinds of racial combinations. Most people under the age of 70 could not care less and are not shocked. What people do care about is if you can afford having children. If you can support them on your own, have as many as you like. If you expect tax payers to support the children long-term, then it is irresponsible to have children. Whether you deliberately or not deliberately had a child is no one's business, but your own and I am sympathetic if someone needs short-term assistance. But I can't see how relocating here is going to get you on your feet. If you were going to live rent-free with your bf's parents and they were going to watch your child for you while you and your partner worked, it would be worth relocating. But if you plan to pay for your own rent in a separate apartment, you will never be able to save enough to be able to live independently without assistance. In addition to your rent being tripled or quadrupled here, your utilities are going to increase significantly, as well. Are you bringing a car or cars? Better check how much your auto insurance is going to cost. Even movie tickets cost more. I hope that you have medical coverage, especially for your child. As for the cost of day care, you get what you pay for. The lower cost places tend to also be lower in quality. If the staff is not treated well or paid low wages, there is usually a revolving door in turnover of caregivers.

[Port North]

Originally Posted by kimi9507

My boyfriend & I will be moving, with our 2 1/2 year old daughter, to Nassau County on May 1st from Western NY. We have both applied at SCO Services, and are still waiting to hear back from them. We can't find an apartment until we have income varification, and I can't find a day care until we know where we're going to live. I am very interested in finding about getting Child Care Assistance since the 1 facility I've been able to find online that listed their tuition prices, said that for 5 days of care it would cost $250 (I pay $70 right now lol). Please give any advice you can. Thank you.

Where in Nassau County are you looking and how much are looking to spend? You said you are going to work in Queens right? If so you may be able to find a two bedroom in the Manorhaven section of Port Washington for $1500-$1800 per month. Here are the classified from the local newspaper:Anton Classifieds • Real Estate (http://www.antonnews.com/classifieds/realestate.html - broken link)
It's a very good school district and has a fair amount of diversity and an easy train ride to Queens so it may be a good fit for your situation.

I'm not sure what childcare would cost, but I know that many lower-income families in in Port Washington attend pre-school the Port Washington Children's Center Port Washington Children's Center

So maybe they would be able to help you out.

It's really going to be a stretch for you moving down here. Just be careful, I wouldn't want to see your kid have to go to a school in Hempstead or New Cassel (horrible school districts equivalent to schools on Buffalo's East side) just because that is all you can afford here. If that is the case you would be much better off staying where you are.

[FrmlyBklyn]

Originally Posted by Port North

First of all I want to say that I am not judging you because I grew up in Western New York and I know it is a depressed area where many people (yes even non-minorities)get government help for various things. There was time ( back in the early 80's when there was 15% unemployment in the Buffalo area) that my family got food stamps for a short spell to make ends meet (if only my current neighbors knew!). I also qualified for the NYS State tuition program that paid for part of my college tuition back in the early 90's because my father was on disability after suffereing 4 heart attacks! So I understand that sometimes S--T Happens in life and you may need some temporary help to get through it.

However, I have to tell you that it is virtually unheard of for a non-minority to ask for government assistance on Long Island. It is VERY VERY looked down upon here. That is why I don't recommend moving here if you can't pay for things on your own.

Also, some areas my not accept you and your boyfriend having a child without being married. That may seem like something out of the 1950's to you or having to do with religion, but its actually has a more sinister reason. Many people here of the mindset that if you have an unplanned pregnancy you should do away with it instead of being a single parent. People here have no compassion for anyone that makes any mistakes in life or who's life beats to a different drum. I may think personally that marriage is best way to go for having kids but I would rather see a child live in imperfect conditions than not live at all. A large percentage of people on Long Island would disagree with me on this issue.

So I want to warn you what you are getting into before you move here. It is a very unforgiving place compared to where you are coming from. Think hard before you move here!

What town do you live in? It does sound like the 50's, and it's not the Long Island that I know.

[FrmlyBklyn]

Originally Posted by Coney

I hope that you have medical coverage, especially for your child. .

I believe NYS offers health care coverage to minors, if they do not have family coverage.