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So where you live guys under 30 meet women left and right, what happens to the guys over 30?
If they are having problems finding dates, then they are likely to have become experts in hand lotions!
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The reason I ask is your 30s are still young and not even middle aged. They are your prime years most people say. California seems vastly different in certain areas from others, I dont think there is any state quite like it.
20s if you have no $$ problems, otherwise assuming you got a career going and making a decent living then yes, 30s is definitely the prime decade! But why get married when you are having so much fun dating? If you are no Quasimodo and have enough $$ then chances are you lack in the attitude/personality department and then you naturally become and expert in the "hand lotion" field.
Yes, CA is different than other states in some ways and similar in other ways which is quite normal I think.
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Originally Posted by JohnG72
People are afraid to approach each other.
Perhaps or perhaps they do not know who they will meet when they approach, the person they are meeting or their defensive, fake personality?
If you are being yourself then you automatically lose. You have to be something else because, let's face it, majority of the people are too lame or too stupid for us to get into even a everyday conversation with. There has to be something intriguing at least at the very beginning. This is typically true when a guy is approaches a girl, not so much the other way around. Most guys do not look for an interesting or intelligent girl, well at least those that are, are at home becoming an expert on hand lotions.
Women are not visual, they look for $$, fame, power, confidence and charms in a man.
I wanna slap those that claim "sense of humor" is one of the most important virtues. If that was true than the biggest players would be the stand-up comics and circus clowns. BS I sayz!
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Another thing I found is that if you are normal looking, have a good job/career(nothing exceptional, just be educated and make at least $55K a year or so), and are not a wierdo/creep, eharmony is a treasure chest for guys in their 30's and 40's, at least as far as LA goes. I actually had to shut off my matches after just 3 weeks because I was dating too much. The same goes for OC, except that the gold digger factor there is MUCH higher than in LA.
You were dating that much that you had to shut off your account? If that is true, then what does that say about the women in LA? Heck, what does that say about you?
Are people looking to date (aka get laid) or are they looking for a relationship? I believe, those looking for a 'normal' e-hem relationship are the ones that can't find it and those that are active are the ones that are not willing to settle down because why let a good thing go, right?
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A lot of the people that bemoan the LA dating scene are broke, either financially or emotionally. Financially goes without saying..dudes that want what they are not willing to work for. Emotionally broke....I dunno, but I think LA just attracts a lot of messed up people. Kinda like how on city data you see so many people wanna move here to start life over. Well, LOL, a lot of them do make it out here...........
I am no cheap skate and especially on the first date I am paying even if I knew she wouldn't even give me a kiss goodnight but if you have to spend money and buy stuff to impress her then it is obvious you are lacking in other areas and it will not last long.
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Originally Posted by readymade
I LOVED dating in LA!!
I always thought I was a terrible dater. Guys never really seemed to be into me. No one really flirted with me. I went on a few terrible dates and ended up getting married too young to a very undemonstrative guy. Turns out, it wasn't me... it was because I was trying to date in Boston. Truly the worst city for dating.
Then I moved to LA and a few years after that I got a divorce. One of the reasons I was with my ex for so long was because I was TERRIFIED to date in LA. I'd heard the horror stories about trying to date in LA in your 30s.
I ended up having a blast! Guys here were so much nicer than back in Boston. They paid me COMPLIMENTS! Heck, they paid for dinner (Lots of guys in Boston would say "Sure!" when I offered to pay half. On a first date. Not a deal breaker for me, but I have to say, it was nice to be wined & dined). They asked me out on REAL dates (instead of "A bunch of us are going to see a band on Friday... wanna come?"). They flirted with me! They called me right away after giving them my phone number. Cute guys!! I was seriously blown away.
I met the love of my life here (my husband) who, on our first date, showed up with flowers. FLOWERS! And he'd made a reservation at a restaurant that he'd picked out. I was very impressed, hee hee. He was (is) brilliant, funny, handsome, romantic (even after 7 years together), and apparently thinks I'm amazing! (always a nice quality in a man)
Hey, that sounds like that movie.....Love Potion #9!
Did you tell the man of your dreams that you were drugging him at the beginning?
I wanna slap those that claim "sense of humor" is one of the most important virtues. If that was true than the biggest players would be the stand-up comics and circus clowns. BS I sayz!
Wait. So circus clowns have amazing senses of humor?! I did not know that.
I've hung out with several comics in my time, and a lot of them tended to be insular, somewhat shy, and insecure. And, actually, they DO get lots of women.
Sense of humor is crazy crazy important to most women. And confidence.
This post was right on the money! Of course, women out there will take offense to this. I understand though. The truth hurts.
Dating in Los Angeles isn't like it used to be.
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Originally Posted by TurcoLoco
If they are having problems finding dates, then they are likely to have become experts in hand lotions!
20s if you have no $$ problems, otherwise assuming you got a career going and making a decent living then yes, 30s is definitely the prime decade! But why get married when you are having so much fun dating? If you are no Quasimodo and have enough $$ then chances are you lack in the attitude/personality department and then you naturally become and expert in the "hand lotion" field.
Yes, CA is different than other states in some ways and similar in other ways which is quite normal I think.
Perhaps or perhaps they do not know who they will meet when they approach, the person they are meeting or their defensive, fake personality?
If you are being yourself then you automatically lose. You have to be something else because, let's face it, majority of the people are too lame or too stupid for us to get into even a everyday conversation with. There has to be something intriguing at least at the very beginning. This is typically true when a guy is approaches a girl, not so much the other way around. Most guys do not look for an interesting or intelligent girl, well at least those that are, are at home becoming an expert on hand lotions.
Women are not visual, they look for $$, fame, power, confidence and charms in a man.
I wanna slap those that claim "sense of humor" is one of the most important virtues. If that was true than the biggest players would be the stand-up comics and circus clowns. BS I sayz!
You were dating that much that you had to shut off your account? If that is true, then what does that say about the women in LA? Heck, what does that say about you?
Are people looking to date (aka get laid) or are they looking for a relationship? I believe, those looking for a 'normal' e-hem relationship are the ones that can't find it and those that are active are the ones that are not willing to settle down because why let a good thing go, right?
I am no cheap skate and especially on the first date I am paying even if I knew she wouldn't even give me a kiss goodnight but if you have to spend money and buy stuff to impress her then it is obvious you are lacking in other areas and it will not last long.
Hey, that sounds like that movie.....Love Potion #9!
Did you tell the man of your dreams that you were drugging him at the beginning?
Wait. So circus clowns have amazing senses of humor?! I did not know that.
How many have you met?
No not necessarily funny personality but looks wise they already set the mood. You would be a lot less defensive if a funny looking clown approached you instead of an average looking guy, no?
Those who say no are probably are the ones who find clowns "scary" or "creepy", the ones with "daddy" issues or something which I will not go into.
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I've hung out with several comics in my time, and a lot of them tended to be insular, somewhat shy, and insecure. And, actually, they DO get lots of women.
Sorry but the personality type you described for the comics though accurate with what I heard as well, does not fit the profile of a guy who gets a lot of women! At least not the type of women that would be desirable by most men.
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Sense of humor is crazy crazy important to most women. And confidence.
May be so, but probably the silly or dry sense of humor at best. If you do have a sarcastic humor or even if it comes off that way that it becomes a turn off because it scares women off. And, it is HARD to make innocent, silly jokes around dumb or insecure people without coming off or being labeled as sarcastic, naturally.
The maturity and intelligence of the audience and the joker has to be compatible, if not then either audience is not going to get the jokes or they think the joker is either lame/unfunny or being sarcastic.
Women will always say sense of humor is important in a man but what they don't say is, as long as the guy is not making fun of them! As long as your 'humor' is not aim at them, cause it is, then all of a sudden he no longer has a sense of humor but instead he becomes a jerk.
Women are typically too emotional and insecure to know what kind of a reaction they will show to a certain jokes, depending on the day and the time, it can easily vary. I can tell that most women can not handle even the slightest joke if it is about them!
What women like is to be told nice things, never any criticism as they do that to themselves and to each other more than enough. So being a charmer is a safer option. A man who can charm them will do that in many different ways but always in a wise, safe way whether it is a joke or gesture or a present.
Sense of humor is a double edged sword and when a female audience it often cuts the one wielding it. Too risky, imho.
How many have you met?
No not necessarily funny personality but looks wise they already set the mood. You would be a lot less defensive if a funny looking clown approached you instead of an average looking guy, no?
Those who say no are probably are the ones who find clowns "scary" or "creepy", the ones with "daddy" issues or something which I will not go into.
Sorry but the personality type you described for the comics though accurate with what I heard as well, does not fit the profile of a guy who gets a lot of women! At least not the type of women that would be desirable by most men.
May be so, but probably the silly or dry sense of humor at best. If you do have a sarcastic humor or even if it comes off that way that it becomes a turn off because it scares women off. And, it is HARD to make innocent, silly jokes around dumb or insecure people without coming off or being labeled as sarcastic, naturally.
The maturity and intelligence of the audience and the joker has to be compatible, if not then either audience is not going to get the jokes or they think the joker is either lame/unfunny or being sarcastic.
Women will always say sense of humor is important in a man but what they don't say is, as long as the guy is not making fun of them! As long as your 'humor' is not aim at them, cause it is, then all of a sudden he no longer has a sense of humor but instead he becomes a jerk.
Women are typically too emotional and insecure to know what kind of a reaction they will show to a certain jokes, depending on the day and the time, it can easily vary. I can tell that most women can not handle even the slightest joke if it is about them!
What women like is to be told nice things, never any criticism as they do that to themselves and to each other more than enough. So being a charmer is a safer option. A man who can charm them will do that in many different ways but always in a wise, safe way whether it is a joke or gesture or a present.
Sense of humor is a double edged sword and when a female audience it often cuts the one wielding it. Too risky, imho.
Interesting. Personally, I love being made fun of in a good-natured way. The night we met, my husband started calling me "Cliff Claven" the night we met after I told him I was originally from Boston. At one point, I slipped up on a word and dropped an "r" (I'd had a few drinks) and he went to town on me. I loved it! It was funny. It started an "in" joke that brought us closer together.
If he'd "joked" about how fat I was (or something like that)... well, then things would have gone a very different way. Some people are insensitive. They'll make inappropriate jokes... and then wonder why the woman didn't laugh. Dude, if you're trying to pick up a woman and you criticize her... you're doing it wrong. If you're chatting up a woman and you start making fun of her in a mean-spirited way? You're doing it wrong. If you can't tell the difference between humor and criticism, you're doing it wrong.
Sense of humor is important... but, as you pointed out, the KIND of sense of humor you have needs to be compatible. Dry, sarcastic, fart jokes, puns, etc... Just 'cause someone's funny to one person doesn't mean they're funny to another. Kind of like looks. I think of "handsome" in one way, you might think of it in another.
In regards to comics, when I met them they were mostly shy (women comics, for the most part, in my experience, tend to be more outgoing)... but maybe they pull out all the stops when they're flirting. I don't know.
Also? Saying "Women are..." and "Women will always..." and following that with a negative?
Interesting. Personally, I love being made fun of in a good-natured way. The night we met, my husband started calling me "Cliff Claven" the night we met after I told him I was originally from Boston. At one point, I slipped up on a word and dropped an "r" (I'd had a few drinks) and he went to town on me. I loved it! It was funny. It started an "in" joke that brought us closer together.
You are probably one of the few. Most may laugh initially but write that incident down on their "I will get even with yo .ss later" list, if you know what I mean?
I make fun of myself quite often, I am comfortable with it and my jokes are always 50% true in real life unless I am just talking smack or being crazy which I do 50% of the time in real life.
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If he'd "joked" about how fat I was (or something like that)... well, then things would have gone a very different way. Some people are insensitive. They'll make inappropriate jokes... and then wonder why the woman didn't laugh.
I agree 100%. I never make fun of people's appearance or the physical shortcomings, just not something I ever though would be right even if it would amuse people. This seems to be the style of many so-called "funny" people, they have to pick on a certain person, group, race, etc. and belittle them. Not my style.
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Dude,
Don't call me "dude", I am a girl!
Just kidding, I am male but still, don't call me dude, I get bad prison flashbacks. No, that is not true either, I just spent one day and no bad memories other than actually going there!
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if you're trying to pick up a woman and you criticize her... you're doing it wrong.
That is not what I said. If the guy is criticizing the girl he is trying to pick up then he is an idiot and he wouldn't be getting jiggy with her anytime soon, naturally.
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If you're chatting up a woman and you start making fun of her in a mean-spirited way? You're doing it wrong. If you can't tell the difference between humor and criticism, you're doing it wrong.
Again, that is not what I do as it is stupid, doing that with a guy would be just as wrong too. With women, there is no kind-spirited joking when they are the target. Again ladies like you who can take a joke about themselves is rare. Perhaps you were too drunk too care or all we know he didn't 'get' any for a week afterward? All I was saying, if you joke about a girl in any way, it is too risky as it is impossible to know how well she will take it unless you know her really well. Imho, it would be smarter to get to know her by asking questions but other than the questions, my jokes would be on a very non-personal since it is often a minefield with someone you don't know whether male or female.
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Sense of humor is important...
Very important indeed, especially when the person's life is a joke. Seriously though, if I didn't have this weird sense of humor and "Mmmmkay" personality, I would be going around biting people and cussing them out all day long cause this world is full of people who should have never existed in the 1st place.
Idiots, criminal types, junkies and just mean people, the world is full of them and they are not making things easier for anyone.
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Also? Saying "Women are..." and "Women will always..." and following that with a negative?
Doing. It. Wrong.
In short, I meant to say, women do not take a joke as well as men do, they find something offensive in nothing or show a negative reaction when it is uncalled for, sort of your reply above. Calling it "wrong" because I followed "women are... or "women will always.." with a negative? It was merely an opinion same as your opinion of stating it was "wrong". My comments were not facts, just my opinions (right or wrong) based on my observations and experiences.
So, calling me wrong just because you disagree makes no sense and without actually providing facts or real life scenarios -that we could both confirm and agree on- that say otherwise, you are only proving my point.
So, thank you, I guess?
Last edited by TurcoLoco; 02-12-2011 at 12:06 PM..
Again, that is not what I do as it is stupid, doing that with a guy would be just as wrong too. With women, there is no kind-spirited joking when they are the target. Again ladies like you who can take a joke about themselves is rare. Perhaps you were too drunk too care or all we know he didn't 'get' any for a week afterward? All I was saying, if you joke about a girl in any way, it is too risky as it is impossible to know how well she will take it unless you know her really well. Imho, it would be smarter to get to know her by asking questions but other than the questions, my jokes would be on a very non-personal since it is often a minefield with someone you don't know whether male or female.
Very important indeed, especially when the person's life is a joke. Seriously though, if I didn't have this weird sense of humor and "Mmmmkay" personality, I would be going around biting people and cussing them out all day long cause this world is full of people who should have never existed in the 1st place.
Idiots, criminal types, junkies and just mean people, the world is full of them and they are not making things easier for anyone.
In short, I meant to say, women do not take a joke as well as men do, they find something offensive in nothing or show a negative reaction when it is uncalled for, sort of your reply above. Calling it "wrong" because I followed "women are... or "women will always.." with a negative? It was merely an opinion same as your opinion of stating it was "wrong". My comments were not facts, just my opinions (right or wrong) based on my observations and experiences.
So, calling me wrong just because you disagree makes no sense and without actually providing facts or real life scenarios -that we could both confirm and agree on- that say otherwise, you are only proving my point.
So, thank you, I guess?
I meant "you" as a general "you" actually. (errr... and not the kind in the army... navy?)
I think we're hanging out with vastly different women. The women I hang out with love to laugh and are massively self deprecating. We enjoy figuring out new, odd and obscure ways to give each other the finger (hey, that sounds dirty!) and enjoy making fart noises. We can spent an hour cracking each other up by dramatically taking off and putting on our glasses... complete with sound effects. In short: we're 12 year old boys, hee hee.
I wasn't calling you wrong because I disagreed, I was calling you wrong because, um, you were wrong! Or, rather, there's no way of knowing if you're wrong or right. It would have been more correct to have written "Most women I know" since you don't know "most women." Y'know? You can't (well, of course you CAN... but I'll call you on it, apparently) make sweeping statements about half of the human race's sense of humor.
Also? My husband most CERTAINLY didn't "get any" for a week after he made fun of my accent. We'd just met that night! And I'm not a $lut! (it was more like a week & a half)
And, dude? (for "dude" you are to me) He made fun of so much more than my accent! It was 6 1/2 years ago (and I'd had a few) so it's a bit fuzzy, but he gave me crap about my love of the movie "Dirty Dancing" and all kinds of stuff! (years later I made him watch it and he admitted that it was really good, heh)
Actually, I remember that I was just about to go to various places (back home to Boston for a visit... then to Costa Rica) and he started messing with me that he wasn't going to call me for 6 months or so until I was back from my "world tour." I then told him to "shut up and date me," which is when he claims he was a gonner.
I have to say I completely agree with the Boston story. Dating in the North east and mid west suck if you're a female. I spent 4 miserable years in Chicago. Guys have the upper hand there. I can't figure it out... might be because of the shrinking straight male population. Lots of guys on the "DL" in Chicago plus boys town make the picking very slim! If you do find a decent man, expect to do stuff you would never be expected to do elsewhere: pay his bills, stroke his ego, lots of freakin' extras.
So I moved to LA. I looooooove it here. The ppl are beautiful. Men are gentle, respectful, eager, committed, and all around sweet. It is 180 degrees difference and I am not exaggerating.
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LA... great for females
