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Old 02-09-2011, 12:04 AM
 
Location: florida
8 posts, read 9,149 times
Reputation: 11

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My names Andrew, Im 21 years old and in about 40 days im going to be flying into LAX to relocate for work.

Im very nervous and have never been on my own completely before.

Alot of things crossing my mind are:

Afraid of not meeting anybody or making friends

Moving out by myself

Afraid of never making friends regardless of efforts

and overall just end up being completely alone.

I probally sound like a child but im really nervous about the upcoming move, which my 2 locations are either going to be venice beach, or hollywood.

I just dont want a disaster to happen, How did you guys make friends at first? meet people, be sociable and build up a social life from scratch?how should I approach people? Im young so its a first time thing for me and any advice would really help me out.

As for my ideas: Buying a dog and going to the dog park, coffe shops, bars.(are these practical?)

-Andrew
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Old 02-09-2011, 12:49 AM
 
Location: California
29,580 posts, read 31,907,081 times
Reputation: 24725
Please don't buy a dog, at least not right away. They require so much and your rental options will be severely limited and why would you want to come home to the smell of dog mess? They do need to "go" even when you work.

Mostly you will meet people through your job or maybe in your apartment complex. Or you can join a group of some sort (meetups, etc.).

My advice is to not worry about it. Concentrate of finding your way around your new area and on your job. Take the pressue off yourself by assuming you WON'T have much of a social life at first.
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Old 02-09-2011, 06:39 AM
 
Location: Las Flores, Orange County, CA
26,346 posts, read 80,751,010 times
Reputation: 17410
Don't buy a dog.

Where is your job?

How did you decide on those two locations to live?
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Old 02-09-2011, 06:56 AM
 
Location: GLAMA
16,584 posts, read 32,641,418 times
Reputation: 16781
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4starkid21 View Post
I probally sound like a child
In more ways than one...
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Old 02-09-2011, 08:02 AM
 
Location: Aliso Viejo, Orange County, CA
4,736 posts, read 5,938,596 times
Reputation: 3833
Slow down, take a deep breath and relax. Moving is stressful enough without overburdening yourself with a lot of “what if’s.” Right now, you need to focus on the mechanics of the move-finding a place to stay, getting the utilities turned-on, furnishing your home, setting-up a local banking account, discovering where the nearest grocery is located, etc.

Structure helps. You’re losing the comfort, familiarity and structure of your present environment, so create your own. Make a “TO DO” list to get started.
Anxiety is a signal, and it should be used to your benefit to motivate you for positive change (action). It’s only destructive when you stagnate, obsess, don’t actively problem-solve, and let it overwhelm you.

You also have to put energy into learning your new job; tuning-in to the office culture; and proving that the company didn’t make a mistake by hiring you. This should use-up a lot of your nervous energy.

Speaking of anxiety, exercise is good at fighting it, so maybe consider joining a gym, going jogging, or whatever. Just do it regularly.

Making friends can be difficult if you come across as being needy or nervous; so focus on those things that are calming when you feel too uptight. Don’t expect to make a slew of friends your first day in CA. As a matter of fact, don’t put a time on frame on it at all. Develop a genuine interest in your new surroundings and in the people you meet. Ask them questions about themselves and their interests and don’t overwhelm them with your self-doubts. There are a lot of things that are best kept to yourself, or are only shared with very close friends. Do not look or act scared.

Getting a dog is actually not a bad idea-after you have found a dog-friendly apartment building, and after you have settled in to a comfortable routine. If you get one too soon, the dog will just stress-out and develop behavioral problems. Just remember that dogs need a lot of attention and aren’t to be used as ornaments or accessories. You have to make a commitment to them.

One final tip, don’t think of yourself as being a kid. Think like a kid and you will come-up with childish solutions. You’re a 21 year-old adult.

Good Luck!

Last edited by pacific2; 02-09-2011 at 08:23 AM..
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Old 02-09-2011, 08:07 AM
 
Location: Las Flores, Orange County, CA
26,346 posts, read 80,751,010 times
Reputation: 17410
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4starkid21 View Post
My names Andrew, Im 21 years old

Im very nervous

Afraid of not meeting anybody or making friends

Afraid of Moving out by myself

Afraid of never making friends regardless of efforts

Afraid of being completely alone.

I probally sound like a child
im really nervous
I just dont want a disaster to happen,
Imagine if you just received your deployment orders to the Afghanistan front lines.

Reminds me of this absolutely classic scene from Patton:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZJcAeJ8YRo
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