Can we follow the path of Aloha in Los Angeles and Orange County and stop being so cynical??? (gated)

[CLQ]

A lot of the appeal in Hawaii is the contagious spirit of aloha that exists on the islands. It really is contagious....I pretty much grew up in LA/OC and was very clichey, stuck up and selfish like the girls on Mean Girls. However, I lived in Hawaii for over 10 years and have a new perspective on life. The friendliness of the people rubbed off on me without me knowing it. I noticed the difference in LA attitudes when I moved back recently after being gone for so long. I can't even relate to my friends from high school anymore. Still very catty and care way too much about their image and concentrate less on what's on the inside which matters most.

I think it is time for an LA/OC movement. We need to adopt a similar culture here where we create smiles in others, share and show how beautiful we are as people both inside and out and make it a prominent part of the way we live and what we are known for. It is contagious so people will change by our own actions. Treat others as family I think is the key success of aloha. I couldn't believe complete strangers would invite me to their homes to eat and jam to the ukulele. These people soon became my cousins.

Aloha is friendly acceptance of all.

A stands for AKAHAI, meaning kindness.
L stands for LOKAHI, meaning bring unity.
O stands for OLU`OLU, meaning politeness.
H stands for HA`AHA`A, meaning humbled.
A stands for AHONUI, meaning enduring.

Wouldn't it be nice if LA/OC locals were know as warm, friendly people? If we lived this way others are sure to follow without even knowing it just as I did in Hawaii. We can all create our own culture rather than segregating ourselves. If we don't and continue to live so cynical, others are sure to follow too. I've been back almost two years now and am already noticing that the cynical, selfish, pessimistic, snooty, Type A personalities are starting to get to me.

Does anyone agree that LA/OC needs a major attitude adjustment?

[CLQ]

Also, what will it take to influence change? What can we stand for?

[Desertho]

Uhm, I think you're dealing with issues that has nothing to do with LA/OC. I think this about the people you hung out with in your past life. Of course the country's second largest metro will be a little rough around the edges compared to Hawaii (ANYTHING is rough around the edges compared to Hawaii, what kind of comparison is that?).

[Sorcerer68]

I just moved back from Hawaii and I respect the spirit of Aloha but I get much warmer treatment here. The first week I was stunned at the amount of friendliness I experienced. One day I went to lunch with a total stranger I met on a movie set. That would NEVER happen in Hawaii. Acts of kindness from strangers (in my life) is pretty frequent. Hawaii is supposed to have the friendliest people in the world but some of the biggest problems I ever had with other humans, I had there. There are nice, wonderful people there as well.

I do agree that it's all in the attitude. I like to think I practise Aloha wherever I go and whatever I call it. Regarding people I went to high school with, I really don't like being around them either. We've all changed in different directions. That's common. I'm really, really happy that L.A. is exactly opposite Hawaii. I hated it there at the end and I'm glad to be home. I've lived in Hawaii more than once, on and off since 1973. I still own a home there.

[PureHapa]

My bro and his wife just came back from Hawaii, where they were contracted to work in a major corporation as execs. After 6 months they quit and came back. They encountered racism, clique-mentality, and other human problems. Apparently "ohana" only goes as far as your "ohana" and doesn't envelop mainlanders.

Too bad I lost my free place to stay in Kailua!

[CLQ]

Originally Posted by PureHapa

My bro and his wife just came back from Hawaii, where they were contracted to work in a major corporation as execs. After 6 months they quit and came back. They encountered racism, clique-mentality, and other human problems. Apparently "ohana" only goes as far as your "ohana" and doesn't envelop mainlanders.

Too bad I lost my free place to stay in Kailua!

Based on the number of people I encounter everyday including strangers in Hawaii, people are much more friendlier than people I have had to deal with in LA/OC. I'm talking about friends, but people at the mall, parties, people at the park, etc. It just seems like people are angrier here and keep to themselves, no sense of community. People are nicer and loosen up and warm up if I talk to them. But previous to talking to them, they acted snooty with an angry look on their face.

Examples:

I got in an accident and the other person was injured which I was really concerned about. People asked how I was and I explained I was fine but the other person was injured. Two people said they don't care about the other person as long as I was okay. These are people at work.

Walking around, girls often check out what other girls wear here and stare up and down. In Hawaii, if you make eye contact with someone, you smile. I think it is rude when people just stare.

Girls I have talked have told me about other girls "Look at those shoes she is wearing, she wears the ugliest shoes" or a girl with curly hair but I thought very pretty, "how can she deal with that hair I feel sorry for her, just think all that product".

Many lunches just talking about material things like cars...that is another point.

It is just the train of thought overall and the majority has influence. True their are nice people here but they're needs to be a lot more. I can give a lot more examples of the attitude I have experienced particularly here in LA/OC. I have also lived in New Zealand and traveled all over the world for sports and nothing compares to here when it comes to snootiness. I can definitely tell here who is from out of state.

[CLQ]

I think a lot of it has to do with the egos that exist here and how many think that they are better than others. People don't think they need each other. The divorce rate here is around 85%.

We need to lighten up and come together. We weren't meant to live individually here and segregated. It is diverse, but you can hardly say together. I have heard from many people from elsewhere how hard it is to make true friends here. It's so sad.

[Jonah K]

Originally Posted by CLQ

A lot of the appeal in Hawaii is the contagious spirit of aloha that exists on the islands. It really is contagious....I pretty much grew up in LA/OC and was very clichey, stuck up and selfish like the girls on Mean Girls. However, I lived in Hawaii for over 10 years and have a new perspective on life. The friendliness of the people rubbed off on me without me knowing it. I noticed the difference in LA attitudes when I moved back recently after being gone for so long. I can't even relate to my friends from high school anymore. Still very catty and care way too much about their image and concentrate less on what's on the inside which matters most.

I think it is time for an LA/OC movement. We need to adopt a similar culture here where we create smiles in others, share and show how beautiful we are as people both inside and out and make it a prominent part of the way we live and what we are known for. It is contagious so people will change by our own actions. Treat others as family I think is the key success of aloha. I couldn't believe complete strangers would invite me to their homes to eat and jam to the ukulele. These people soon became my cousins.

Aloha is friendly acceptance of all.

A stands for AKAHAI, meaning kindness.
L stands for LOKAHI, meaning bring unity.
O stands for OLU`OLU, meaning politeness.
H stands for HA`AHA`A, meaning humbled.
A stands for AHONUI, meaning enduring.

Wouldn't it be nice if LA/OC locals were know as warm, friendly people? If we lived this way others are sure to follow without even knowing it just as I did in Hawaii. We can all create our own culture rather than segregating ourselves. If we don't and continue to live so cynical, others are sure to follow too. I've been back almost two years now and am already noticing that the cynical, selfish, pessimistic, snooty, Type A personalities are starting to get to me.

Does anyone agree that LA/OC needs a major attitude adjustment?

It seems like someone needs to move back to Hawai'i and try to preserve what is left of the so-called "aloha spirit."

The culture of Southern California will never become like that of Hawai'i. Unfortunately, the culture of Hawai'i is becoming like that of Southern California.

Originally Posted by PureHapa

My bro and his wife just came back from Hawaii, where they were contracted to work in a major corporation as execs. After 6 months they quit and came back. They encountered racism, clique-mentality, and other human problems. Apparently "ohana" only goes as far as your "ohana" and doesn't envelop mainlanders.

Too bad I lost my free place to stay in Kailua!

Some executives have problems in Hawai'i because they are unable to adapt to local culture. If they had read the book, "Managing with Aloha" by Rosa Say, they might have fared better. Quite a few people in Hawai'i have 'ohana living in various locales throughout the continental United States. So while folks in Hawai'i consider many "mainlanders" to be 'ohana, they are quick to reject those that display the "mainland mentality."

[Sorcerer68]

Originally Posted by CLQ

I think a lot of it has to do with the egos that exist here and how many think that they are better than others. People don't think they need each other. The divorce rate here is around 85%.

We need to lighten up and come together. We weren't meant to live individually here and segregated. It is diverse, but you can hardly say together. I have heard from many people from elsewhere how hard it is to make true friends here. It's so sad.

One thing I have to point out is that this is a huge metropolis. City people tend to mid their own business vs. being "friendly" and all up in everyone elses. People from the boonies often see this as being unfriendly. This exists in all large cities. I'm glad my neighbors don't hold me hostage and talk to me for half an hour and subtly pump me for info when I come up my walk. When I was in Hawaii, everyone wanted to know everyone else's business. The Coconut Wireless has no mercy. In the city, they respect your privacy. It's an unwritten rule here.

Regarding making friends, the way to do it here is within a common interest you have. I find huge trust issues in Hawaii and frankly I'm not up to that much work to make friends. It was quite difficult in Hawaii to find (how shall I say this politely)...people of similar intellect. As a kid there I had the same problem. Boy did I catch hell for speaking properly. I had to keep the conversation to fishing, beer, weather and trucks...and of course Pakalolo. I have to qualify and say I lived on the Big Island which is (sort of) the Ozarks of Hawaii. When we moved here, we were walking by a house late at night, about 1030ish and happened upon a girl moving. She invited us in (which would NEVER happen in Hawaii) and the offered us belongings and we had some chit chat before we were off. I just bought a used BMW today from a celebrity. The guy was so fastidiously honest it impressed me. He even put gas in the tank.

CLQ...if you're so unhappy, why are you here? Go where you like it and it feels good. I love L.A. for the same reasons longtime Hawaii residents never come near it. I like my kindness city style, you like yours island style. Thank God they aren't the same or I'd hate it here.

[CLQ]

Originally Posted by Sorcerer68

One thing I have to point out is that this is a huge metropolis. City people tend to mid their own business vs. being "friendly" and all up in everyone elses. People from the boonies often see this as being unfriendly. This exists in all large cities. I'm glad my neighbors don't hold me hostage and talk to me for half an hour and subtly pump me for info when I come up my walk. When I was in Hawaii, everyone wanted to know everyone else's business. The Coconut Wireless has no mercy. In the city, they respect your privacy. It's an unwritten rule here.

Regarding making friends, the way to do it here is within a common interest you have. I find huge trust issues in Hawaii and frankly I'm not up to that much work to make friends. It was quite difficult in Hawaii to find (how shall I say this politely)...people of similar intellect. As a kid there I had the same problem. Boy did I catch hell for speaking properly. I had to keep the conversation to fishing, beer, weather and trucks...and of course Pakalolo. I have to qualify and say I lived on the Big Island which is (sort of) the Ozarks of Hawaii. When we moved here, we were walking by a house late at night, about 1030ish and happened upon a girl moving. She invited us in (which would NEVER happen in Hawaii) and the offered us belongings and we had some chit chat before we were off. I just bought a used BMW today from a celebrity. The guy was so fastidiously honest it impressed me. He even put gas in the tank.

CLQ...if you're so unhappy, why are you here? Go where you like it and it feels good. I love L.A. for the same reasons longtime Hawaii residents never come near it. I like my kindness city style, you like yours island style. Thank God they aren't the same or I'd hate it here.

I never said I was unhappy here. It is just the snootiness, pretentious, high-strung type that are prevalent here that are annoying which I deal with almost on a daily basis. I just think it's so unnecessary that's all and make the most beautiful people unattractive. It is possible to be a more loving and caring people. Isn't it? That doesn't mean having long, drawn out conversations with strangers. But friendly gestures like smiling, letting people pass you, stop making racist remarks and talking as if we are better than others. It is about building people up, not tearing people down. In the workplace, it is so cut-throat I have learned to be much more aggressive and watching out for people trying to sabotage me. I can play the game but it shouldn't be this way. We need to RESPECT each other as a human being whether they are not the brightest light bulb, poor, black, white, mexican, chinese, democratic, republican.

There are the most affluent percentage of people in the country per capita living in Hawaii and they wear slippers and shorts and drive trucks. Don't be mistaken because they don't speak proper English when socializing that they don't know how to. Okay, so maybe there is a lot of talk about surfing, fishing, diving, paddling etc. But I think that's better than talking about cars, jewelry and purses. It is not about whoever has the most toys wins. There is so much more to life than material things. There are people dying of hunger and wars going on in other countries. By ourselves, we can't do much. Together we can make a difference in this world if we care.