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From a country where the minimum wage is about $300 dollars a month.
+100000000000000000000000000
No it isn't; I am not looking for a rich guy. I am looking for someone who can support himself and not call me to tell me he cannot come to my house because he doesn't have $20 for gas!
If I had written "where can i meet men in their late 20's" everybody would give me silly answers because you can meet a man in their 20's pretty much everywhere. I want someone who has his money - not to share with me; read this slowly if you have a hard time grasping the fact that some women are not looking for a man to support them: not to share his money with me - and is in my age range.
I do not know where to find good man in this city; I don't go out much because I wasted time working instead of building relationships and now I have no girlfriends; I have no idea where to go or what to do to meet people.
It was a simple question! Century City, someone replied above. Do you specifically mean that big mall on SM blvd? Do men even hang out in malls?!
Where to start is quite simple. Start making more girlfriends then! That's essential.
People tend to mingle and socialize with like-minded people. If your girlfriends are career professionals (they have college degrees and work in career-oriented office jobs), they will tend to hang around others like them - men or women. You will then meet people (men, women, couples, etc.) simply by being around them - at dinner parties, house warming get togethers, and other social things.
Again there are TONS of single men in their 20s that aren't broke and have good jobs. If that weren't the case, the office buildings in Century City and downtown LA would be half empty. Tons of lawyers, bankers, accountants, agents, corporate professionals, etc. here in LA who are a few years out of college or grad school and working good jobs. If you don't have girlfriends like this, you'll have that much harder of a time meeting guys like this.
Sure you can meet some of these guys in bars, clubs, etc but in that context - they are not looking for relationships.
Rather than focusing on "single men who can afford to pay for gas" -- you'll be much happier developing a close knit group of girlfriends. Because if you really are looking for a career-minded and responsible man to potentially date, I'm sure you're also looking for the same kinds of qualities in the girlfriends you will hang out with.
I hate to sound like a class-ist jerk, but since this is all anonymous, we might as well be bluntly honest here:
If you don't want to date poor guys, then don't hang around poor people in your social life (or start with finding girlfriends who are making a middle class living - because through their friends there's a far better chance there will be guys who are also similarly middle class).
If the people you're working with everyday are hourly workers and the friends you have are mostly hourly worker types, then the kinds of men you will meet will tend to be hourly workers too.
If you're around mostly older people, then you're going to meet mostly older men. If you're around mostly married people, you'll meet mostly married people.
You're not going to find groups of friends with wildly different income levels. You want to meet financially stable guys - start hanging out with financially stable girlfriends.
Working professionals tend to be friends with other working professionals. Celebrities tend to be friends with celebrities. Hourly workers tend to be friends with other hourly workers (bartenders, waiters, service staff, greeters, etc) Broke people tend to be friends with other similarly broke people.
Unfortunately, especially in the US there's a real class divide. Especially in a big city like LA, NY, etc where there is a much bigger disparity between those with money and those with little. Go to parts of the midwest or south, and yes you may find a lawyer who is friends with the plumber who is friends with a local store clerk - because the disparity of income isn't as huge, and the cost of living isn't quite as stark (so what you end up doing socially won't be determined by whether you can afford it or not since most things are much cheaper).
Social circles are more homogeneous than most people would like to admit. All of us I'm sure can claim that we have friends that are wildly different than who we are in terms of culture, race, language, marital status, income level, education, and neighborhood (especially in LA!), but most of one's friends are more similar in demographic than we'd like to admit. Married people tend to have mostly married friends. Gay folks tend to have mostly gay friends. Single young white professionals tend to hang out with single young white professionals.
Start with your social circles/friends, and you'll find that guy (or guys) that you want.
You can't just focus on places in LA - because that's not how this city works. Century City has tons of office buildings, but what are you going to do - just wander aimlessly by yourself along SM Blvd with a sign saying "looking for a man with a job?". LA is not really a bar scene - where you go to a bar and start meeting single men -- actually, you can do that but in that environment the guy isn't looking for a relationship, but simply just sex.
So much of LA social life revolves around groups of friends - housewarming parties, group dinners, house parties, and so forth. That's why it all starts with making friends - women or men.
Last edited by redturtle; 02-21-2012 at 12:41 PM..
Generally, the best guys are guys you meet through friends. Or a friend of a friend at a party or something like that.
There are a lot of threads on this forum about how to make friends in LA. Meetups sharing your interests, etc... check them out. Maybe join a nice gym. I'm actually making friends with some GREAT women by doing fitness bootcamp. We bond over spending an hour of hell with each other 3/4 times a week, heh.
And, yeah, "success" is about as easily measured as physical attractiveness. Everyone in my bootcamp goes on and on about Ryan Gosling and I'm all "Really? REALLY?" Don't get it. I have a friend who thinks bald guys are hot. I have another who likes big bushy beards (gross!). Another likes guys who wear eyeliner. All subjective.
To one (me), success might mean just making a living at doing what you love in the arts (even if it means just making rent and having a little extra spending money.) To another, nothing less than 6 figures/year. A good friend of mine is a VP at Adobe. SUPER rich. They have a NANNY ROOM! And a ping pong room w/ beer tap! But he's always traveling and doesn't get to see his wife or kids all that much. Seems stressed. Success fail, in my opinion... I'd rather have my guy around. But he gets me free Adobe products so.... Success Success for me!
Last edited by readymade; 02-21-2012 at 02:05 PM..
Rather than focusing on "single men who can afford to pay for gas" -- you'll be much happier developing a close knit group of girlfriends.
I hate to sound like a class-ist jerk, but since this is all anonymous, we might as well be bluntly honest here:
If you don't want to date poor guys, then don't hang around poor people in your social life ....
You can't just focus on places in LA - because that's not how this city works.
So much of LA social life revolves around groups of friends - housewarming parties, group dinners, house parties, and so forth. That's why it all starts with making friends - women or men.
You don't sound like a jerk at all and I loved your honesty. It makes much more sense to make friends first (I was actually trying to do that at the same time) then trying to find the right place to meet men.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bighorn911
Im 25 and a Firefighter/Paramedic, 6'3" 240LBS, half black/half white, shaved haircut and dont need mommy and daddy to stand on my own two feet
Firefighters are f*cking hot. There is one who is white and bald on the station near my house...mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
It should be easy for you to find a woman, Mr Firefighter/Paramedic
And what's up with the anonymous, hateful comments? I received some kind of "reputation comment" and they called me shallow. Really? Instead of finding a career-minded guy I should pick up the guy waiting for his welfare paycheck?
Instead of dating someone on his feet like me, I should date the guy who still lives at mommy and can't afford his own meal?
A successful guy in their late 20s? What do you mean by that? LOL If it were so abundant, these men wouldn't be committing anyhow. It's harsh and it goes both ways sadly.
I find it understanding of couples that come from hardships to be more comitted to their relationship.
There's a big difference between wanting to date a rock/movie star type vs a somewhat average white collar professional with a business/engineering degree. It doesn't sound like the OP is interested in the former, but the latter. Being mean to the OP or somehow saying they are shallow is pretty ridiculous and judgmental IMO.
I will say a few things: the median woman is probably going to be more successful these days than the median guy. More women graduate from college and I would argue they are, on average, more successful in their mid-late 20s than the median guy. This means "successful" guys are going to be at a relative premium compared to similarly successful women.
One thing about a lot of the white collar professional types is they are often a little nerdy, not necessarily ugly, but certainly not what most women think about when they envision their "dream man" in Los Angeles. The ones that save money will frequently live rather unassuming lifestyles and may not be overtly looking to attract women based on $$$.
Virtually everyone I know who is "successful" (granted I tend to hang out with people with personality types and worldviews similar to myself) is pretty suspicious of "money grubbing women" and are very likely to significantly downplay financial success in terms of dating people. Of course there are many 50k millionaires who ball it up a lot.
But there are just as many, if not more, pretty conservative people who make good money but save a lot of it and won't necessarily immediately catch your eye at first glance. For example, I have had multiple friends break it off with women pretty early on because they had too much debt. I know when I was single one thing I was certainly looking for was a good balance sheet, although I never actually broke up with anyone because of it. Bad financial habits were absolutely, 100% a deal breaker in my view, and virtually everyone else I know in a similar situation feels the same way.
Of course if a guy just wants to get laid, none of this matters. You will find them in no short supply at bars and clubs on the weekends. I think a lot of "marriage material" will hang out at these kind of places, but don't necessarily look at meeting like minded people there - but rather to just have a night of good honest fun.
There's a big difference between wanting to date a rock/movie star type vs a somewhat average white collar professional with a business/engineering degree. It doesn't sound like the OP is interested in the former, but the latter. Being mean to the OP or somehow saying they are shallow is pretty ridiculous and judgmental IMO.
In my view (bear in mind I am married and haven't dated for several years), the best way to meet a partner is in an educational setting. A pretty large percentage of my friends met in graduate school, but I've had a couple others who have met in supplemental classes, one doing some volunteer work, one in some kind of "lesson," another at a college alumni event, one in a weekend hobby class, etc. In my view the best way to meet someone is through some kind of educational connection.
Successful people generally like education and tend to spend free time improving their educational pursuits, from graduate education, "educational" volunteering, to taking dance classes, surfing classes, etc. It's also a great way to meet platonic friends...and learn something useful!
A fair number of friends of mine have met partners at work. The reality is, a lot of successful white collar types work a lot, and tend to end up (for better or for worse) with people who they work with or through a work connection.
I have had a couple friends end up marrying a neighbor who lived in their yuppie apartment complex as well.
So what that means to me is think about how these items connect to your personal lifestyle. Perhaps you've always wanted to do ??? for education, maybe another degree, a fun hobby class on the weekend, etc etc. Not only will you learn something useful that might help you with your life or career, you are likely to develop a like minded social circle or meet a partner directly. Living in a neighborhood or area with like minded people is also a good idea.
A lot of how to meet people is figuring out your personal interests and how they might connect with the person(s) you want to meet.
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