Is it just me or are people in L.A. not very friendly? (Los Angeles: buying, living in)

[hockfan86]

I never called you mentally unstable. I stated that if you tried to strike up a full conversation with me while riding your bike on the sidewalk, I would think you are mentally unstable because I have seen mentally unstable people act like that. I am not saying you are mentally unstable. I am not even saying you aren't an alright guy, I am just stating how your behaviour may look to other people. I wasn't the only person on this thread of this opinion. If you said more than hello to me on the street and I don't know you I would think you are crazy or trying to scam me, ya know why? Because the last 20 people that have done that were crazy or trying to scam me. Blame society, not me.

[Clevelander216]

Originally Posted by hockfan86

I never called you mentally unstable. I stated that if you tried to strike up a full conversation with me while riding your bike on the sidewalk, I would think you are mentally unstable because I have seen mentally unstable people act like that. I am not saying you are mentally unstable. I am not even saying you aren't an alright guy, I am just stating how your behaviour may look to other people. I wasn't the only person on this thread of this opinion. If you said more than hello to me on the street and I don't know you I would think you are crazy or trying to scam me, ya know why? Because the last 20 people that have done that were crazy or trying to scam me. Blame society, not me.

I agree to an extent. I've had alot of strangers spark convo with me on the street, on public transportation, etc. and most of the time they did seem to be mentally unstable, but that didn't bother me one bit. I partook in their conversation because it would be totally rude to just ignore them.

All I'm saying is that people in L.A. or maybe just big cities in general seem to be more cold and less mannered than other places. For example, if I held a door open for someone, I would expect them to say thank you because I went out of my way to be polite just like when I greet somebody with a smile and a hello, I expect that in return because it is polite and if anyone thinks otherwise, then they're a p.o.s. jerk.

And yes, I do blame society! Society is a** backwards nowadays.

[jm1982]

armstrong, I agree with you. There are a lot of cold miserable people without manners in this town. I can say that as someone born and raised in this city. I think most of the rude people are transplants haha (jk). I haven't done a study yet.

I agree with the idea of panhandlers, bums, mentally unstable people striking up conversations. But I think that's just an excuse . These people are rude even when they are around people they KNOW are not panhandlers or mentally unstable.

I also agree with the idea that being a douche is the "new cool" or hip thing or there is some idea that it's the cool thing to do . Kind of sad and annoying. The whole jaded condescending hipster persona.

[moonsparkle]

I've personally never gotten the big deal about "civilian contact". Occasionally, I'll make small conversation if in line at a store, that is about it. Growing up in the midwest, the weather was always an easy topic that everyone had an opinion on.

If it's really that important to someone, you can always goto Las Vegas, people in casinos can be overly chatty.

[Clevelander216]

Originally Posted by trancedout

I've personally never gotten the big deal about "civilian contact". Occasionally, I'll make small conversation if in line at a store, that is about it. Growing up in the midwest, the weather was always an easy topic that everyone had an opinion on.

If it's really that important to someone, you can always goto Las Vegas, people in casinos can be overly chatty.

I think you're misunderstanding what I am saying. I don't expect people to start conversation with me nor do I even expect people to greet me. BUT if I greet somebody, I do expect a greeting in return. If I say hello and all I get is a funny look or a cold shoulder, then you're a douche. Simple as that...

[jm1982]

Yeah I don't believe one necessarily has to be chatty...or strike up conversations about the weather,etc. It's just if someone put themselves out there : says hi, holds the door open . Does it really take too much effort at out of ones busy life to just say hi or say "thanks"?

There are just too many self centered people out there. It seems especially in the more upscale areas the people are the rudest....so ironic how "high class areas" lack real class...

armstrong...I agree with you 100% on this!

[Clevelander216]

Originally Posted by jm1982

Yeah I don't believe one necessarily has to be chatty...or strike up conversations about the weather,etc. It's just if someone put themselves out there : says hi, holds the door open . Does it really take too much effort at out of ones busy life to just say hi or say "thanks"?

There are just too many self centered people out there. It seems especially in the more upscale areas the people are the rudest....so ironic how "high class areas" lack real class...

The problem is that alot of people only associate being "high class" with being rich when in reality being high class is also to be cultured and well mannered.

[jm1982]

Yeah that is really sad but true. The thing that is also so annoying is that I'm sure these same people probably act different when they think that can get something out of someone. For example, I doubt they would act this way around a rich client or customer. They have the attitude that this stranger can't DO anything for ME , why should I bother with them at all.

You shouldn't just be polite to people when you think you can get something out of them or sell them something.

[moonsparkle]

Originally Posted by armstrong

I think you're misunderstanding what I am saying. I don't expect people to start conversation with me nor do I even expect people to greet me. BUT if I greet somebody, I do expect a greeting in return. If I say hello and all I get is a funny look or a cold shoulder, then you're a douche. Simple as that...

You mean like immediate neighbors you see all the time? People walking out of a gas station as you're walking in (basically situations where eye contact is made?) You also have to keep in mind that person's native language may not be English in a city like LA.

Usually the only time someone can expect to be greeted is walking into a business. Occasionally someone randomly will, but I don't think it happens that often, even in the midwest which is known for greeting.

[Spikett]

Originally Posted by armstrong

Growing up in the burbs, it was very common to greet your fellow neighbors or pedestrians. As a matter of fact, if you walked by someone and DIDN'T smile or say hello, then you were probably viewed as a mean, cold, miserable person lol. Also, I was in the Navy for 4 years and you were EXPECTED to greet all higher ranking personnel on a daily basis. I guess greeting people is just something that I've grown accustomed to doing since I've been doing it all my life and when I got funny looks for doing it in L.A. I was very confused and to be honest I think it is very rude not to return a greeting. I also find it very very rude and offensive to be called "mentally unstable" by a fellow poster in this thread for being polite and greeting others.

I never thought that being friendly and having manners would be considered weird or annoying or make me look like some kind of psycho. It's a cold world I guess....

I've been thinking about this and I think a lot of it comes down to the part of town you're in. When I say strangers speak to me at the grocery, in elevators, hold the door for me, I'm mainly talking about area around where I work (West LA), and the Valley. In the areas you mentioned, especially the ones with high immigrant populations, this has not been my experience. The sidewalks are usually crowded, people are in a hurry, many don't speak English, and they just ignore each other and especially me, a white woman. There are a variety of reasons for this and I don't think any of them include people purposefully being rude. Having said all of that, yes there are rude people. But I can't say I've found more rude people in LA per capita than in any other city.