Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Radiolibre...did you know beforehand he was going to make a comment? Something seems a bit strange about that. There are some people (men included) who just look "sassy", it's best to avoid those types.
For some reason, these sardonic/quirky types are almost always white as well.
I've noticed some of the cool LA guys are actually friendly compared to other cities where they think they're the big man on campus. Kind of tough being considered important in LA as a regular person.
He looked like he could've gone both ways, nice or jerk, but before he handed me the smoke he blurted out a couple words I knew were going to lead to a smarmy remark. He rolled his eyes but wanted to rib me for asking him for a smoke. I don't mind if you're going to deny me a smoke or be a jerk and rudely say no, I can deal with that. That's real. But this attitude of trying to outwit TV style in real bar setting is just over the top ridiculous. I couldn't let him do it. I literally interrupted him and wouldn't let him finish. I acted as though I couldn't hear a word he was saying. It was a noisy bar and it played to my favor. The look on his face just said it all he was mad he couldn't show off his wit with his friends. I took the smoke, smiled at him and left.
I mean just don't let jerks like that have their say lol. Just walk away or act aloof yourself and interrupt them, excuse me I have a call or something. Lol. Maybe then they will quit re-enacting jerk scenes from movies and TVs that rotted their brains for enjoyment.
He looked like he could've gone both ways, nice or jerk, but before he handed me the smoke he blurted out a couple words I knew were going to lead to a smarmy remark. He rolled his eyes but wanted to rib me for asking him for a smoke. I don't mind if you're going to deny me a smoke or be a jerk and rudely say no, I can deal with that. That's real. But this attitude of trying to outwit TV style in real bar setting is just over the top ridiculous. I couldn't let him do it. I literally interrupted him and wouldn't let him finish. I acted as though I couldn't hear a word he was saying. It was a noisy bar and it played to my favor. The look on his face just said it all he was mad he couldn't show off his wit with his friends. I took the smoke, smiled at him and left.
I mean just don't let jerks like that have their say lol. Just walk away or act aloof yourself and interrupt them, excuse me I have a call or something. Lol. Maybe then they will quit re-enacting jerk scenes from movies and TVs that rotted their brains for enjoyment.
Dunno, man. Honestly, from this curiously detailed exchange, I can't tell who was being the jerk.
LA does sort of make you bend to it's will in a way. I for one cannot stand the annoying quirkiness of some of the people. I don't find it charming, cute or endearing. I think that the people who act this way have just let popular culture or too much TV just mind F the hell out of them. It's literally life imitating art in this city sometimes. This city almost celebrates socially awkward quirkiness to a fault. I have found myself longing for some regular conversations that do not go off on pop culture driven tangents, sardonic quips, or insular banter. Also, there are a lot of guys here that talk as though they're stereotypical gay but are straight as an arrow. I guess it's just the crowd I end up hanging out with because I am in a typical high end field (law) and I am trying to break into the industry as a screenwriter.
Sometimes I do get wound up on the overload of weird and quirk and I tend to just cut people off before they can offer me a "witty" response. Last weekend at a West Hollywood bar I bummed a smoke from someone who was dying to offer it to me as long I was able to let him rib me in front of his friends with a token smarmy remark. I took the cigarette but kept acting like I couldn't hear him and kept asking him to repeat himself, cutting him off each time he would try his best to spit out his wannabe wit (probably something he'd been practicing). He got frustrated and just told me to leave. I smiled, thanked him for the smoke and was on my way.
But it's that type of crap that annoys me to no end in this city and something that I just cannot think to live with for the rest of my life. I love Los Angeles and feel like this is aesthetically the PERFECT city for me. I love everything about it; the trees, the hills, the beaches, the city, the streets, the shops, the food, etc. etc. etc. all except the people that inhabit this one sub section of the industry I've decided to give it my best shot. I mean it's unbearable. LOL.
I never thought I would be one of those people that would actually get annoyed at supposedly quirky, weird, and creative people. I always prided myself as being very open minded back home and would hate it when people would call others "weird". I had always thought it was because they were close minded and couldn't see pass their narrow view but some people are just weird and not in a good way. Some people are just jerks and not in a good way.
Apparently, some people here just have not figured out that the personality traits of jerks in movies and TV are made for movies and TV and not real life. In real life it doesn't work. Being a wannabe House MD or any other smarmy jerk doesn't work out for anyone in real life, yet these people haven't gotten the clue.
what is the age group you hang out with? I'd say this is pretty common in most cities depending on the are you live. It's (one of the reasons) why I was immediatley turned off by North Park in SD. If I wanted that I could find it in Chicago in the specified neighborhoods. It also reminds me of the private college I went to before transferring to a State School. Sometimes you just need to broaden your social circle -- PARTICULARLY if you are in your 20's. Not to get all psycological on you but you are probably attracting this or drawn to it on some level or you are noticing it for the first time as something you didn't like about yourself or friends and wishing to grow up into a more mature crowd...
I'm willing to believe LA is MORE like this in certain areas than other cities...but think its just the general hipster flavor of the moment (Though if you ask me its pretty ten years ago, my generation invented that crap
My husband (a jazz musician) and I (a writer) moved to Southern Cali from Iowa in 2011. We're both in our mid-twenties and hated Iowa, so we decided to give ourselves a change and move near friends on the West Coast. The last two years have been...interesting. We found jobs immediately and an apartment a week later in Pasadena. After seven months, my husband lost his job and spent March 2012-Feb 2013 job hunting. During that time, we had to move to a cheaper apartment in Pasadena and the stress of being unemployed for a year really took a toll on us.
He finally found a new job and we're now back to doing well financially. Despite our good fortunes, I'm still miserable. He loves California and doesn't want to move, whereas I find myself fantasizing on moving back to the Midwest every day. I miss the friendly people, affordable cost of living, actual seasons and easier commutes that the Midwest offers. I've done everything I've been told to do to adjust: made new friends (I work in the Music industry and my friends are as crazy as you can possibly get!), explored my new home (just got back from a mini-vacay in Palm Springs, before that we went to Santa Barbara, next month is Vegas and then we're going to go to Big Bear), tried to enjoy the weather, etc....
And I'm still miserable. What is wrong with me?? Anyone else move to the Golden Coast and feel this way?
I grew up in what was once a small town in Indiana (now it's pretty much a Chicago suburb) and moved to San Diego for law school. Lived in San Diego for four years, loved it, had a long term relationship with a guy, we were almost about to move in together and thought I would stay in San Diego permanently. But it didn't work out. He moved to the Bay Area and I ended up moving to LA (well Pasadena to be exact) to work for a law firm earlier this year. I will be imminently moving to Kansas City to work for the federal government in a job for which I don't even need my bar license and for which I'm taking a pretty big pay cut, though it will be more than offset by the tax difference and COL difference.
I wouldn't say I'm miserable here but it's no utopia. I hate the traffic and how hard it is to get around. Hate the inadequacy of public transportation. The summer in the San Gabriel Valley has been horrendous. Some areas look like third world countries. People have been actually quite nice in my experience. Food is absolutely phenomenal. Expensive as hell. Wonderful outdoor opportunities particularly for me in the Angeles National Forest (I'm an avid hiker). Love the beach scene.
Honestly I'm not moving to Kansas City for any other reason than it is where my dream job is located. But even so, I won't be sad about leaving. I've realized that despite all I love about it, could never settle down in LA. It's just not a place I could ever live in long term, and to be honest, I've realized that the same is true for San Diego. I felt like I needed to get out of my comfort zone in the Midwest and see something new. I saw it, I did what I wanted to do, and achieved what I wanted to achieve. Will I stick around Kansas City??? I dunno...I hear it's quite an underrated city but the grass is never greener. And I've always had a wander lust of sorts. But I do know that I move back to the West Coast, it will be to Seattle or Portland. After 4 and a half years, I'm ready to leave Southern California and move on to new things. But I've immensely appreciated the time I've spent here. I think it's an incredible place to live, especially for people in their 20s like you and me.
Dunno, man. Honestly, from this curiously detailed exchange, I can't tell who was being the jerk.
How so? I was being the jerk for avoiding his smarmy comment? I just came up to him for a smoke, I politely asked and he offered one but as soon as he rolled his eyes, blurted out thr beginning of a smarmy question, clearly setting me up for some ribbing in front of his friends, I just played it off like I couldn't hear. It was that simple.
You could of at least explained your curious assessment of this exchange rather than underhandedly calling me the jerk.
what is the age group you hang out with? I'd say this is pretty common in most cities depending on the are you live. It's (one of the reasons) why I was immediatley turned off by North Park in SD. If I wanted that I could find it in Chicago in the specified neighborhoods. It also reminds me of the private college I went to before transferring to a State School. Sometimes you just need to broaden your social circle -- PARTICULARLY if you are in your 20's. Not to get all psycological on you but you are probably attracting this or drawn to it on some level or you are noticing it for the first time as something you didn't like about yourself or friends and wishing to grow up into a more mature crowd...
I'm willing to believe LA is MORE like this in certain areas than other cities...but think its just the general hipster flavor of the moment (Though if you ask me its pretty ten years ago, my generation invented that crap
I did find it a lot in college, I went to a top ten private school and yes you're right they were there in droves and its where I learned to just have a disdain for people like that. And yes you can find that anywhere, in any city but in LA its almost a 50/50 chance you will run into that going out.
I had thought about what you're saying regarding me wanting to be with a more mature crowd but I see this type of behavior, while dominant among younger ppl, cut across all age groups in LA and like trances out said before 7/10 times its a white guy. Sorry to generalize but its true. I'm white but I tend to almost feel much more comfortable around minorities sometimes in rooms full of ppl like that. Its also the field I'm trying to go into and yea the crowd I tend that tends to gravitate around it. I attend a lot of seminars, groups and alumni gatherings that have events at clubs and bars around town so yeah I'm gonna get that a lot in LA
I did find it a lot in college... and yes you're right they were there in droves... And yes you can find that anywhere, in any city but in LA its almost a 50/50 chance you will run into that going out.
It's always a huge adjustment moving from college life to another city, big and sprawling or not. I probably could have written your posts back in 1978, and I grew up in southern CA, although went to college out of state. My roommates and I lived in West L.A. and it took a long time to make friends outside of work.
How so? I was being the jerk for avoiding his smarmy comment? I just came up to him for a smoke, I politely asked and he offered one but as soon as he rolled his eyes, blurted out thr beginning of a smarmy question, clearly setting me up for some ribbing in front of his friends, I just played it off like I couldn't hear. It was that simple.
You could of at least explained your curious assessment of this exchange rather than underhandedly calling me the jerk.
This is merely my honest takeaway from a description of events of which other posters have offered more subtle hints. I thought you might find the directness refreshing, even from some anonymous ******* on the internet like me. I've read other of your posts and are very good read, evocative and entertaining. However, I think even you would admit you have a tendency, if not an unapologetic right, to generalize.
I have no doubt the guy from whom you bummed the smoke emitted weapons-grade cheese. Why did you even approach him and his posse? Further, can you be absolutely certain this guy was going to live down to your expectation? He never did spit out his quip. Otherwise, why not just let him make ass of himself? He's the one who has to live with it. There's also a non-zero chance his joke might actually have been funny. If so, steal it. Most importantly, I doubt he's still thinking about it.
From your description, your interaction reads like an unpleasant, self-fulfilling prophecy. But this could also serve you handsomely if you are indeed pursuing screenwriting. Look at Larry David.
This subject irks me....It's not because I think LA is the greatest place on earth (it's not but what is?), but that these forums and every other forum on this website, strike me as a place only for the negative to place the blame on the city itself. I will admit that i was one of those people who moved to a place of their choice and ended up hating it. I learned it is a YOU problem more than a city problem. I lived on the East Coast for 4 years and wanted to come home after a year and a half. That first year, I would always compare the city to Los Angeles and would always wonder, "What if I went here? Or Went there? Or just didn't come here at all?." I had so many gripes about my new city that it was just a matter of time before i went somewhere else and could be happier. Which was weird in a sense, I chose to be here, why was a so unhappy then? It wasn't until i went to Europe that it hit me that it wasn't a city problem, it was a ME problem. I was projecting all my unhappiness and gripes at the city when it isn't the city that makes the man, but the man that makes the city. I will never judge another city as boring or too expensive or being dirty or being too segregated....cause no city is perfect, and no city will have everything you want.
Edit: Plus, to generalize people at the extent that people do here is insane. No wonder we have so much animosity towards our fellow man. Everybody wants to believe they have people, politics and entire cities figured out after living there for two years (Two years is not enough to judge any city in the world).
Edit2: and Douchebags live everywhere. To yourself, you are the model anti-douche...to everybody else, you are the douche...
Last edited by jamills21; 09-20-2013 at 12:31 PM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
