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Old 09-24-2014, 03:22 PM
 
Location: Southern California
967 posts, read 1,014,331 times
Reputation: 2305

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ktslwy View Post
I work in Santa Monica, which is already far from where I live now so I am used to it. Commute time isn't quite a concern to me, as long as it's within an hour per trip.
If you work in Santa Monica and want a good school district, I'll just throw Culver City into the mix. That would cut your commute time down considerably.
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Old 09-24-2014, 03:38 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles
1,451 posts, read 1,362,422 times
Reputation: 645
Quote:
Originally Posted by Howiester View Post
Actually every white person on this board who wants to live in a white neighborhood gets torn to pieces
racist...
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Old 09-24-2014, 03:54 PM
 
1,964 posts, read 4,432,320 times
Reputation: 1616
if you're of Asian background and your child is still of daycare or pre-school age, you might want to choose Temple City just because it's easier for you to bond with other parents based on your culture. I don't want to make it seem like ppl are racist, but one of my Asian associates (who lives in La Canada) was saying how he switched pre-schools since he felt that Caucasian mothers at the former center were a bit stand-offish and aloof to his Korean-American wife, even though she's an outgoing Stanford grad, born & raised right here in Cali. Just remember that at the pre-school/nursery school stage, kids don't choose their friends, their parents set them up on "play dates." And another dirty secret is that some elite private preschool/daycare centers in certain neighborhoods actually limit the number of Asian children, in the pursuit of their idea of a Caucasian-biased "balance."
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Old 09-24-2014, 05:03 PM
 
1,714 posts, read 2,981,464 times
Reputation: 1125
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheOldBear View Post
Absolutely shameful for anyone to assimilate into a host country's culture. Always ensure your children recognize the inherent superiority of their native ethnicity.


That's why you're raising them in California, right?
If the children are young, there's no getting away from the American culture for them... like how they will learn fluent English naturally, they will grasp and embrace the American culture naturally too.

I am sure the OP wants his or her children to understand the culture and background of their ancestors. Nothing wrong with that.

Just like some of the Italians in NY/NJ and the Germans and Scandinavians in the Midwest, those families have been here for generations, but they still practice cultural traditions from the old countries.
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Old 09-24-2014, 05:40 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles
100 posts, read 95,670 times
Reputation: 190
Quote:
Originally Posted by BeatAngMoh View Post
Nothing wrong with ethnics to be proud of their culture. Has nothing to do with assimilate. One can assimilate yet still view their native culture as superior. Why is it when whites do so, its OK? lol

']White' ethnicity? You're kidding, right? In my family alone we have French, Irish, Scottish, Native American, British, Dutch, and German bloodlines. What would we do, eat haggis with foie gras and Guinness?

America has a proud history of immigrants moving here and making the country stronger by working together with common goals, a common language, and a belief that “all men are created equally” without regard to race, creed, or ethnic origin. When people consider “their way” to be superior to “our way” we have problems.


I've lived and worked in the San Gabriel Valley for nearly 30 years and probably have eaten in more dumpling shops on Colima, Garvey and Valley than you have. Can you say that you have dined in as many “American” restaurants? Maybe an oversimplification but I think it clearly illustrates the distinction between those of us who embrace the non-homogeneous nature of the US and especially California and those who try and avoid it.
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Old 09-24-2014, 06:38 PM
 
Location: Southern California
4,350 posts, read 4,939,435 times
Reputation: 2129
Quote:
Originally Posted by Howiester View Post
Actually every white person on this board who wants to live in a white neighborhood gets torn to pieces
Yup, that's true.

Quote:
Originally Posted by infinitekid View Post
do you really want your kids just to be another set of asian kids in an asian area in TEmple City. That place is getting overrun with foreigners. they'll get plenty of asian culture at home

West Hills
Xenophobe
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Old 09-25-2014, 08:18 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles, CA
555 posts, read 572,025 times
Reputation: 1169
Quote:
Originally Posted by BeatAngMoh View Post
I would go with Temple City unless you want your kids to be devoid of their culture and wash out their ethnicity. I would say this largely comes from the home but its reinforced when you are in a community that relishes its culture.
Dayyymn. Your name.
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Old 09-25-2014, 09:17 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles, CA
555 posts, read 572,025 times
Reputation: 1169
Quote:
Originally Posted by infinitekid View Post
do you really want your kids just to be another set of asian kids in an asian area in TEmple City. That place is getting overrun with foreigners. they'll get plenty of asian culture at home

West Hills
You serious? A lot of Asian kids in Temple City are not in fact foreigners. And what you see in Temple City is actually a form of American culture, even if it may not be your particular version of Americana. Temple City is not China or Vietnam; it doesn't come close.

Being American has nothing to do with the color of one's skin; it's about culture, it's ideology, and it is inclusive and diverse -- it does not require homogeneity nor even lock step assimilation. Just as a neighborhood with mostly white kids can be considered American, so, too, can a city like Temple City be considered American. American is not a color nor a language. American runs deeper than that.

OP, consider what's most important to you. Most people value a short commute. A large house is a common thing to want. Is that more important to you than living in a place that accepts and celebrates diversity? You must prioritize, then choose.

Places like the SGV are unique, and their value cannot be overestimated. Asian kids here grow up feeling normal. This doesn't mean they don't assimilate; this just means they have a richer experience and understanding of what it means to be American. That sense of normalcy and the confidence it gives a person in terms of their comfort level and acceptance in being both Asian and American are priceless and valuable assets when they become adults and face racism and other obstacles. It also helps them relate to others who may be different, whether it's an immigrant from another country or whether they themselves are abroad interacting with people from different cultures.

Of all the Asians I've met, I've noticed it's the people from Asian-influenced places like SF, SGV, and Hawaii that do really well navigating obstacles later in life. They see people with Asian faces wherever they go: not just restaurant owners and doctors (as Asians in very non-Asian places might tend to see), but also lawyers, police officers, postal carriers, etc. They see that Asians can fulfill the violin-playing, Kumon-going, A-student stereotype, but they also see plenty of Asians who are into hip hop dance, band, student government, art, politics, military -- everything. And by seeing that Asians can be everything, they gain a deep understanding that they can, too, can be anything. So when they go out into the world and encounter the racists who try to box them in to stereotypes, say racist stuff, and keep them from advancing in the work place, they will know from experience the stereotypes aren't true and thus have the confidence to speak up for themselves.

IMO, Asians who grew up in places where there were few Asians sometimes had a chip on their shoulder about being Asian or a minority. Not saying that all Asians in those places had that chip, but I did notice this tendency amongst some in college. They seemed uncomfortable with the fact that they were Asian, and they had really outdated, one-dimensional ideas about what it meant to be Asian. I guess you can't really blame them, since their exposure to Asian peoples and cultures was so limited. You only know what you're exposed to. Those were the Asians who would, at a party, refuse to acknowledge or stand near another Asian if they saw one, as if they feared the white people at the party might think something bad of them or notice their Asian-ness, aka difference, simply if they stood near or acknowledged the other Asian. (White people generally don't have this problem.) It was really sad, and I felt bad for them. They seemed so painfully aware, and possibly ashamed, that they were different. If they did speak an Asian language, they seemed embarrassed to do so and often went out of their way to declare they did not in fact speak any language other than English. And, they went out of their way to avoid eating Asian food in public, while loudly declaring a preference for steaks, baked potatoes, and what have you -- not that there is anything wrong with steaks and potatoes, but you get my meaning. I dare say they would be OK eating at Outback Steakhouse but refuse to enjoy a steak and some wine at Cafe Spot. (Again, this was a trend I noticed, but of course, not all Asians from those outlying places were like this, and probably some SGV Asians can be like this. I'm talking overall trends.) But it's to be expected when you grow up in an area where everyone keeps pointing out that you're different -- and not in a good way. I know West Hills isn't the sticks or anything, but even in places that aren't in the middle of nowhere, you will find this kind of cultural shaming, though it may be more subtle. Kids pick up on this stuff, and unfortunately, this racism and hatred soaks in so much that the kids subconsciously adopt those negative ideas about themselves, their families, and their culture as true.

At least in SGV, mostly no one will do that to your kids. Your kids can grow up feeling normal being both Asian and American. And they will be able to adapt and interact well with different cultures, not just their own, since SGV is actually quite diverse in terms of culture, despite what outsiders might think they see.

As for the school competitiveness, that is a legit concern. I have family and friends who live in Temple City and who refuse to do the whole Kumon thing. Their kids don't play instruments unless they want to, and even then, it's not like they get all "Tiger Mom" on them; activities are kid-driven. They do have concerns that their kids will rank lower than the other Kumon-type kids, but so far their kids are doing well in school. They do spend time with their kids going over homework like most parents seem to do these days, but they emphasize creativity and free play time for their kids. They encourage their kids to write stories, to take part in sports, to ride their bikes, etc. This seems to have served them well. One parent coaches sports and takes an active role in helping the non-English speaking kids play ball. He speaks some Mandarin, so he coaches the kid in Mandarin and English, and in time, the kid has learned enough English to play basketball, and the other kids learn to interact with kids different from them. These kids are in public school. The parents love their kids' schools and say a lot of parents are involved. Don't feel like you have to do whatever everyone else is doing; do what's right for your kid, and things will work out.

If you have concerns about the public school system being too competitive, and you can afford it, private school may be an option. There are plenty in the area. A friend of mine raves about St. Lukes. Another likes All Souls, which has a dual immersion program in both Mandarin/English and Spanish/English. Still another friend raves about the Montessori near the Target in Alhambra. You have options if you can afford it.

Sure, if you go to West Hills, you can always go back to the SGV on weekends, but it will not be the same. SGV and all that it offers will be seen as "other" while West Hills will be seen as "normal." But if you really need to do this for the shorter commute, then you just gotta do what you gotta do. Maybe you don't spend enough time with your kids because your commute is crazy long, and that may be more important to you. It's really up to you. Good luck!
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Old 09-25-2014, 09:38 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles
1,451 posts, read 1,362,422 times
Reputation: 645
Quote:
Originally Posted by sydlee View Post
You serious? A lot of Asian kids in Temple City are not in fact foreigners. And what you see in Temple City is actually a form of American culture, even if it may not be your particular version of Americana. Temple City is not China or Vietnam; it doesn't come close.

Being American has nothing to do with the color of one's skin; it's about culture, it's ideology, and it is inclusive and diverse -- it does not require homogeneity nor even lock step assimilation. Just as a neighborhood with mostly white kids can be considered American, so, too, can a city like Temple City be considered American. American is not a color nor a language. American runs deeper than that.

OP, consider what's most important to you. Most people value a short commute. A large house is a common thing to want. Is that more important to you than living in a place that accepts and celebrates diversity? You must prioritize, then choose.

Places like the SGV are unique, and their value cannot be overestimated. Asian kids here grow up feeling normal. This doesn't mean they don't assimilate; this just means they have a richer experience and understanding of what it means to be American. That sense of normalcy and the confidence it gives a person in terms of their comfort level and acceptance in being both Asian and American are priceless and valuable assets when they become adults and face racism and other obstacles. It also helps them relate to others who may be different, whether it's an immigrant from another country or whether they themselves are abroad interacting with people from different cultures.

Of all the Asians I've met, I've noticed it's the people from Asian-influenced places like SF, SGV, and Hawaii that do really well navigating obstacles later in life. They see people with Asian faces wherever they go: not just restaurant owners and doctors (as Asians in very non-Asian places might tend to see), but also lawyers, police officers, postal carriers, etc. They see that Asians can fulfill the violin-playing, Kumon-going, A-student stereotype, but they also see plenty of Asians who are into hip hop dance, band, student government, art, politics, military -- everything. And by seeing that Asians can be everything, they gain a deep understanding that they can, too, can be anything. So when they go out into the world and encounter the racists who try to box them in to stereotypes, say racist stuff, and keep them from advancing in the work place, they will know from experience the stereotypes aren't true and thus have the confidence to speak up for themselves.

IMO, Asians who grew up in places where there were few Asians sometimes had a chip on their shoulder about being Asian or a minority. Not saying that all Asians in those places had that chip, but I did notice this tendency amongst some in college. They seemed uncomfortable with the fact that they were Asian, and they had really outdated, one-dimensional ideas about what it meant to be Asian. I guess you can't really blame them, since their exposure to Asian peoples and cultures was so limited. You only know what you're exposed to. Those were the Asians who would, at a party, refuse to acknowledge or stand near another Asian if they saw one, as if they feared the white people at the party might think something bad of them or notice their Asian-ness, aka difference, simply if they stood near or acknowledged the other Asian. (White people generally don't have this problem.) It was really sad, and I felt bad for them. They seemed so painfully aware, and possibly ashamed, that they were different. If they did speak an Asian language, they seemed embarrassed to do so and often went out of their way to declare they did not in fact speak any language other than English. And, they went out of their way to avoid eating Asian food in public, while loudly declaring a preference for steaks, baked potatoes, and what have you -- not that there is anything wrong with steaks and potatoes, but you get my meaning. I dare say they would be OK eating at Outback Steakhouse but refuse to enjoy a steak and some wine at Cafe Spot. (Again, this was a trend I noticed, but of course, not all Asians from those outlying places were like this, and probably some SGV Asians can be like this. I'm talking overall trends.) But it's to be expected when you grow up in an area where everyone keeps pointing out that you're different -- and not in a good way. I know West Hills isn't the sticks or anything, but even in places that aren't in the middle of nowhere, you will find this kind of cultural shaming, though it may be more subtle. Kids pick up on this stuff, and unfortunately, this racism and hatred soaks in so much that the kids subconsciously adopt those negative ideas about themselves, their families, and their culture as true.

At least in SGV, mostly no one will do that to your kids. Your kids can grow up feeling normal being both Asian and American. And they will be able to adapt and interact well with different cultures, not just their own, since SGV is actually quite diverse in terms of culture, despite what outsiders might think they see.

As for the school competitiveness, that is a legit concern. I have family and friends who live in Temple City and who refuse to do the whole Kumon thing. Their kids don't play instruments unless they want to, and even then, it's not like they get all "Tiger Mom" on them; activities are kid-driven. They do have concerns that their kids will rank lower than the other Kumon-type kids, but so far their kids are doing well in school. They do spend time with their kids going over homework like most parents seem to do these days, but they emphasize creativity and free play time for their kids. They encourage their kids to write stories, to take part in sports, to ride their bikes, etc. This seems to have served them well. One parent coaches sports and takes an active role in helping the non-English speaking kids play ball. He speaks some Mandarin, so he coaches the kid in Mandarin and English, and in time, the kid has learned enough English to play basketball, and the other kids learn to interact with kids different from them. These kids are in public school. The parents love their kids' schools and say a lot of parents are involved. Don't feel like you have to do whatever everyone else is doing; do what's right for your kid, and things will work out.

If you have concerns about the public school system being too competitive, and you can afford it, private school may be an option. There are plenty in the area. A friend of mine raves about St. Lukes. Another likes All Souls, which has a dual immersion program in both Mandarin/English and Spanish/English. Still another friend raves about the Montessori near the Target in Alhambra. You have options if you can afford it.

Sure, if you go to West Hills, you can always go back to the SGV on weekends, but it will not be the same. SGV and all that it offers will be seen as "other" while West Hills will be seen as "normal." But if you really need to do this for the shorter commute, then you just gotta do what you gotta do. Maybe you don't spend enough time with your kids because your commute is crazy long, and that may be more important to you. It's really up to you. Good luck!
wholly $hit. you win, if just based on sheer length and butthurt. tldr
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Old 09-25-2014, 09:45 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles, CA
555 posts, read 572,025 times
Reputation: 1169
Quote:
Originally Posted by infinitekid View Post
wholly $hit. you win, if just based on sheer length and butthurt. tldr
it's ok. i understand reading can be difficult for some.
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