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Old 05-05-2016, 03:38 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles & Houston
1,265 posts, read 632,107 times
Reputation: 1311

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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYtoDC View Post
Obviously, this is an issue. I also think that AAs purposely underachieve though, as well. If you look at the culture of AA households and, especially, AA adolescent culture, it is frowned upon to be smart and do well in school. Most intelligent AAs are made fun of and mocked. This is what destroys us. I find it hard to believe that if we are genetically related to West Africans (e.g. Nigerians), that they can come over here and become engineers and doctors and we can't. It makes no sense. Take Ben Carson for example. He made it because his mother emphasized education and stressed it throughout his childhood. Therefore, there is a cultural dissonance between AA culture and West African culture. AAs should take notes from what the Nigerian households are doing and follow suit to obtain the same level of success. Lack of discipline is also a huge issue in the AA community. I saw it everyday when I was teaching in the urban schools. The AA children displayed the most attitude and were the most unruly out of all the kids. Parents need to work on their children's manners and teach them to have respect for authority and their peers. I blame it on pop culture as well. Honestly, gangsta rap was one of the worst things that could happen to us. But again, as the celebrities say themselves, they are not here to parent nor are they role models for other people's children. If parents turned off the tv and made their kids open a book, we wouldn't see AA teen boys trying to be the next Lil Wayne or Lebron instead of the next Ben Carson.
Seriously I don't know where you are getting this from. I hardly saw this, especially as I got older. It was "cool" to be smart and make good grades. If anything it was "yo this n-word smart, he got you". I remember the really smart Black girls being pretty popular.

 
Old 05-05-2016, 04:28 PM
 
205 posts, read 106,098 times
Reputation: 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by DabOnEm View Post
Seriously I don't know where you are getting this from. I hardly saw this, especially as I got older. It was "cool" to be smart and make good grades. If anything it was "yo this n-word smart, he got you". I remember the really smart Black girls being pretty popular.
Where did you go to school? You don't have to name the name but what city was it in? Also, was it public or private? My HS was extremely "ghetto" for lack of a better term. Constant fighting, fires set inside the school and in the woods behind the school and a shooting during my senior year. The most popular kids were the bad ones who always got into trouble or smart mouthed the teachers/administrators. I honestly felt bad for some of the White kids in my program because they got picked on even more for just being White in a majority Black school.
 
Old 05-05-2016, 04:30 PM
 
205 posts, read 106,098 times
Reputation: 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by jamills21 View Post
this is turning into a group therapy session lol Nothing wrong with that, but we as AA face many struggles and I'm glad this has been mostly a mature conversation.
Same here. I love having a good discussion.
 
Old 05-05-2016, 04:46 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles & Houston
1,265 posts, read 632,107 times
Reputation: 1311
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYtoDC View Post
Where did you go to school? You don't have to name the name but what city was it in? Also, was it public or private? My HS was extremely "ghetto" for lack of a better term. Constant fighting, fires set inside the school and in the woods behind the school and a shooting during my senior year. The most popular kids were the bad ones who always got into trouble or smart mouthed the teachers/administrators. I honestly felt bad for some of the White kids in my program because they got picked on even more for just being White in a majority Black school.
I went to high school in Houston for a year and then the Dallas suburb of Arlington for the last three. At least 15% of the population at both of them were Black. My high school in Arlington had the most varying income levels, so the most popular kids tended to be the rich ones. I saw more of what you're talking about in my Houston school (which was 30% Black) but it was still minimal. You were popular if you were an athlete. The kids who would bad mouth teachers were only popular because the regular students wanted to be entertained. It was always "next time dude you should do this" and then they would do something stupid, get kicked out, we would laugh, and then do our work.

Both schools had fights, students gunned down, etc. Even now, the next generation of young cousins I have all try their best to make straight As. Some are still in the same neighborhoods that their parents (cousins my age) grew up in. It is everything you described about being ghetto except you aren't getting made fun of for being smart. I have a little cousin that plays football and makes good grades. He is apparently that dude at his school...in the hood. I think Obama being elected helped a lot, despite what some others might think.
 
Old 05-05-2016, 05:08 PM
 
205 posts, read 106,098 times
Reputation: 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by DabOnEm View Post
I went to high school in Houston for a year and then the Dallas suburb of Arlington for the last three. At least 15% of the population at both of them were Black. My high school in Arlington had the most varying income levels, so the most popular kids tended to be the rich ones. I saw more of what you're talking about in my Houston school (which was 30% Black) but it was still minimal. You were popular if you were an athlete. The kids who would bad mouth teachers were only popular because the regular students wanted to be entertained. It was always "next time dude you should do this" and then they would do something stupid, get kicked out, we would laugh, and then do our work.

Both schools had fights, students gunned down, etc. Even now, the next generation of young cousins I have all try their best to make straight As. Some are still in the same neighborhoods that their parents (cousins my age) grew up in. It is everything you described about being ghetto except you aren't getting made fun of for being smart. I have a little cousin that plays football and makes good grades. He is apparently that dude at his school...in the hood. I think Obama being elected helped a lot, despite what some others might think.
I do think that young AA kids and children of color as a whole were inspired to do better in school after seeing a man of color as POTUS. It sounds as if your HS demographics were different than mine. I don't think we really had any very wealthy students either. Most were either poor or middle class at the most. Majority black with some Filipinos and a few Ethiopians, Central Americans and very few Whites. A lot of the White kids acted urban (to fit in with the Black students I guess). I definitely saw a contrast in behavior between private and public school. At my Montessori school, most of the kids were White and very well behaved. The Black and Latino kids were very well behaved also. When I switched over to public school for the rest of elementary and middle, many of the kids had behavioral issues including some kids of other ethnicities but it was nowhere near as bad as the events that went on in my HS. They were mostly mischievous when they were younger but some of the HS students were outright violent. Now that I look back on it, it is a wonder that I was even able to get through school with all of the interruptions we had during classes.

College was very different. The students were mostly EXTREMELY wealthy international students (and from the US) and they were very smart as well. It was very diverse but kind of hard for the poor kids and those of us from middle class backgrounds because these kids would drop thousands on going out to eat in South Beach and buying Chanel bags and other designer things. They all had ridiculous monthly allowances as well. But they were extremely cool and down to earth for rich kids. The students there kind of remind me of that show "Rich Kids of Beverly Hills." My college is big on sports so the football/basketball players were the most popular. It kind of felt like living at a resort when I attended that school. Best years ever.
 
Old 05-05-2016, 08:20 PM
 
Location: Earth
17,449 posts, read 22,953,730 times
Reputation: 7246
Quote:
Originally Posted by NyWriterdude View Post
Compton and Inland Empire don't have good reputations either, and in fact anyone visiting LA would likely be warned not to go to those neighborhoods. Not SAFE.

Unless you're visiting relatives in those areas there is no reason to go.
Most of the IE is safe. San Bernardino (one of the most messed up cities in California), Perris, the High Desert, and parts of Rialto and Riverside are the exceptions, but as a whole the IE's reputation is a lot worse than the reality. There just isn't much that would attract tourists in the IE, but it's not somewhere that's too dangerous to go to.
 
Old 05-06-2016, 05:27 AM
 
272 posts, read 177,751 times
Reputation: 214
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYtoDC View Post
Nowadays, research can be done independently by teens but a long time ago, it was hard to get up-to-date information about college rankings, programs offered, etc. When I was in hs, I really only knew of a few of the biggest names out there (e.g. Harvard, Colombua, NYU, etc). I randomly found my college when I was searching through college catalogs and decided to apply. Also, everyone doesn't have a wide range of professionals in their inner circle to model their life after. My mother was a HS English teacher and my father worked for the federal government. Unless I was close to them, I really didn't know the ins and outs of what my friends' parents did for a living. So, my own personal knowledge of what career choices were available to me were extremely limited at the time.

Yeah, the Ricky Ricardo thing is strange. Never heard that one before from anyone I know. IDK. I had a Hatian American friend in Philly that was called Wanda Sykes because of her hairstyle which was pretty stupid because they really looked nothing alike. I hate celebrity comparisons anyways. So pointless in my book.

I was pretty surprised that I got around LA county/OC pretty quickly last time I was there. It literally took me 40 minutes or less to zip across the highways. Maybe it was the time of day. Not sure. I think our traffic here in DC is worse than L.A.'s traffic now so maybe it is all relative because I am used to crazy traffic and long commute times now.

The only way I could see hipsters staying out of Compton is if they lower prices elsewhere (which isn't bound to happen with L.A.'s popularity). It may take a decade or two but I wouldn't be surprised to see it happen. If they did it in Ft. Greene and Bedstuy, they will do it to Compton.
How hard is it to read the US News & World Report rankings. I'm pretty sure it was a magazine before the info was posted online. How hard is it to ask teachers until someone can point you in the right direction? How hard is it to think, "Hmm, if I want to do X, Y, or Z, maybe I should ask someone that does this for some advice?" Nobody is saying it is easy, but other than luck (like being born in the right family), you have to put the work in. I think of Arnold Schwarzenegger. It's not like the guy grew up with bodybuilding gyms in Austria. He even admitted that it was looked down on as a hobby. He still managed to find a way to do what he had to do. Now, on the luckier side of things, I read Chris Gardner's book. The dude had it ROUGH (to put it nicely) growing up. Still, when the opportunity came, he asked a guy that did what he wanted to do how to do it and did it.

They do literally expect me to be Ricky Ricardo, but he's the best way I can describe the stereotypes they apply to me until they talk to me. From my perspective, it makes no sense, but that's because my idea of a chicano is someone like the guys in the movies I mentioned or something like the lowrider culture. Obviously, we're not all like that, but I think you see what I mean (we don't dance, most don't even like salsa, merengue, etc.

Google DJ Quik and look up with his Compton gang affiliation. Hipsters aren't going to move in there until they get rid of that and account for the immigrants that will outbid them by housing 7 to a 2 bedroom house (exaggeration to illustrate a point, but my friend's family was like that). I'm not aware of Mexican gang activity in Compton, but I assume that is something else to deal with. My own hometown is trying to clean up, but they are outwardly against outsiders moving in and want to keep the place as homegrown as possible. The city of Los Angeles is trying to force change, but it is meeting heavy resistance with the locals.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NyWriterdude View Post
Students don't chose your parents. There are parents who have their kids learning foreign languages in kindergarten, who have them doing calculus by middle school, and who have them doing various arts and sports since they were small children. These parents hire TUTORS for their children, and of course they do well on standardized tests. Guess who is much more likely to get into a top college undergraduate, and who is much more likely to get into a top graduate or professional school? Guess who is far more likely to be able to earn substantial amounts of money over their lifetimes?

You're putting all the responsibility on kids ,and diving them up into "good" kids and "bad" kids.

Never mind there is no such thing as a kid who simply made up his mind (and yes you mentioned the story of your uncle) and decided he was going to go to college.

Today to get into a worthwhile school is extremely competitive, and I don't think anyone who has a professional career would deny having mentors, parents, and other people who provided proper guidance.
See my response above. I agree that a mentor is recommended and good parenting helps, but it only puts the odds in your favor, it doesn't guarantee anything. It makes things harder, but so what? One of my early jobs was working for an Indian immigrant that came here with nothing, started his own business and became a millionaire. I'm sure this dude had to work his ass off, but he got the job done. In my hometown, nobody even wants to go to college because they can make more money than most non C-level executives working in unions, so they all find ways to get into the unions (we're talking 6 figures in 2 years with no college degree). I myself have a connection to 3 union jobs if I wanted them. I don't, so I went another route. When the union jobs go away in the future (and at some point they will or they will make lower wages), I'll bet the kids that would have grown up wanting to work on the docks will start looking for new ways to make money.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NyWriterdude View Post
Everyone has to deal with guidance counselors, teachers, professors, advisors for graduation requirements, for letters of recommendation, etc. Regardless of WHEN you first decided upon that career path.
I have never needed a letter of recommendation in my career. My language skills and my study abroad experience were all the interviewers ever cared about.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NyWriterdude View Post
Asians are the POOREST group of all races in NYC, according to stats from the NYC government. Granted they are including recent Asian immigrants.

How many Fortune 500 CEOs are anything other than white? You don't have many African, West Indian, or Asian CEOs.

I've been in a number of high end places, and I can tell you where there's real money it will be mostly WHITE.

Asian Americans have written quite a bit about the discrimination against Asians in ANY HIGH PAYING private sector field.

I don't even know of any Asian American university presidents either.
They should go to the Bay Area or Silicon Valley. Lots of Asians with high paying jobs unless you don't consider software engineering or the financial sector to be high paying fields. They work their asses off and have to put up with a lot, but they get it done.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DabOnEm View Post
Seriously I don't know where you are getting this from. I hardly saw this, especially as I got older. It was "cool" to be smart and make good grades. If anything it was "yo this n-word smart, he got you". I remember the really smart Black girls being pretty popular.
My black friends would call you a dumbass if you got anything less than a B. I knew a guy that got a fail and we were like, WTF? You get a D for at least showing up. Now, if you were a straight A genius or like me you "talked smart" they would call you professor, but that's what kids do. I just shot back and made fun of my friend for being fat or another's nose or big head, etc. No blood, no foul. Making fun of people is what kids do.
 
Old 05-06-2016, 06:57 AM
 
23,247 posts, read 16,056,508 times
Reputation: 8529
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYtoDC View Post
We all know that we live in a system designed to target minorities, most notably, AAs. So WHY do something illegal knowing that it can get you locked up? Obviously, it is an unfair world and AAs cannot act out in the same ways as Whites. You have to work the system to get by. This is what I'm saying. I don't fear the police because there is nothing they can pin on me. I pay their salary with my tax dollars and they are supposed to serve my community and keep it safe. AA males should adhere to this ESPECIALLY because you are targeted. It is ironic that we are speaking in this topic because I literally JUST saw a young AA male wearing a hoodie and baggy clothes walking along the highway shoulder and the state trooper immediately put on his lights and pulled over to confront him. Even "preppy" AA kids get harassed by police as noted by @green_mariner. This is why we have to work twice as hard to get the same opportunities and live the lifestyles we want to live.

It is fortunate that you had a kind Aunt that looked out for you in that way. Generational wealth would be more of a norm in the AA community if we all responsibly planned our families and our children's educational goals BEFORE they are born. AAs as a whole should model themselves after successful minorities. I know I do. Networking and learning from other races/cultures has helped me greatly.

Also, our neighborhoods would not be so horrible if people started to care about their community instead of only themselves. The projects started out as low income housing for two parent households. They were designed for people to save up and then move onto single-family homes. AAs themselves chose to destroy their own neighborhoods, most notably, in the MLk riots. It makes no sense. We, as a group, tend to think on an individual basis. Other ethnic groups make moves with the entire community in mind. Look at the Lubavitchers on Eastern Parkway for example. They loan each other money to assist in entrepreneurial efforts and create voting blocs to get their political goals accomplished. Obviously we face discrimination but discrimination does not force any of us to sell drugs to one another or rob each other out of jealousy. Those are choices that some of us make and it brings down the community as a whole.

With regards to the housing situation, you'll notice that many immigrants pool resources, such as housing until everyone can get on their feet. AAs could do the same. I never understood why many parents push their children out at 18 when they may not be economically sound enough to make it on their own. Parents and extended family in the AA community should also pool heir resources together to make sure the children are successful in life. This is why it makes sense to either abstain from having kids if you are broke or limit childbearing to two children per couple, max. It makes perfect sense until the community as a whole obtains greater wealth as a whole. I know that my way of thinking is unrealistic though and will never happen, unfortunately.
My aunt also inherited her house from my grandparents, so she did have some help in that regard. Compared to whites AAs have much lower rates of property ownership, and historical discrimination in housing, jobs, and mortgages certainly lowered the rate. This is something you refuse to acknowledge.

With that said yes it makes no sense to push someone out at the age of 18, particularly if all they are going to do is get a low income job and spend most of their money on rent. If you know any parents who are doing that or people who have children before it gets to that point, you should talk to them about it.

Re: discrimination, while it is true just because you're a victim you aren't FORCED to due drugs, MISERABLE people tend to drink and do drugs as MUCH higher rates. This is true all around the world. Basically if your life sucks and you have nothing to live for, taking massive amounts of drugs is a slow form of suicide.

Simply preaching to people to be good won't necessarily change their lives. Take NYC. We have the fair housing laws enforced now. But in order to recent a place in a nice neighborhood (and be around better people who may help you out professionally) you'll need to earn 40 times one month's rent on an annual basis. Without that you may very well be stuck in the ghetto, and other cities have this issue as well. A person could be married, never drink or do drugs, never have any problems with the law and still be stuck in the ghetto with crappy people.

It's not impossible to move out of the ghetto, but it is pretty difficult.
 
Old 05-06-2016, 07:19 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles
2,436 posts, read 1,973,752 times
Reputation: 2255
Not even sure what this thread is about anymore.
 
Old 05-06-2016, 08:05 AM
 
23,247 posts, read 16,056,508 times
Reputation: 8529
Quote:
Originally Posted by DabOnEm View Post
Seriously I don't know where you are getting this from. I hardly saw this, especially as I got older. It was "cool" to be smart and make good grades. If anything it was "yo this n-word smart, he got you". I remember the really smart Black girls being pretty popular.
I also don't see this. Considering the bad state many AAs are in, people are generally HAPPY and PROUD when someone does well academically and/or professionally.
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