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Old 05-04-2016, 11:04 AM
 
72,817 posts, read 62,152,022 times
Reputation: 21771

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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYtoDC View Post
So stupid. The "squares" are the ones who make it in the adult world. Look at Bill Gates and Zuckerberg, lol. Those stories remind me of my best friend's experience in hs. He is doing pretty well nowadays

The West Coast or NYC is definitely the place to be if you are an "alternative" or intellectual AA. A lot of people just don't seem to get these "types" in other cities (as if we need to perfectly fit into a predetermined category to make them comfortable). For some reason, I seem to get along really well with people from other countries. They don't seem to have the preconceived notions that many Americans do about how AAs should behave. DC is a great place for intellectuals as well but everything is based around the government. A good discussion on politics here and there can be fun but my life definitely doesn't center around politics.

Very true, I've only dealt with subtle racism (e.g. stares or questions with the fake smiles) but thank goodness, never anything as bad as being arrested for "breaking into" my home. No matter what, AA males will always have to deal with harassment on another level.
Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerburg among a few have done well for themselves. Many of the "squares" do better in future times. However, the world we live in is so focused on "now". Myself, I struggled before finally doing better. Combination of being depressed, not being able to deal with alot of things properly didn't help.

I've grown up in the South, mainly the outskirts of metro Atlanta. Atlanta proper isn't like the rest of the South. However, I do feel that elements of "tradition" and "know your place" can still be found. A certain way Blacks are expected to be.

The whole "you talk White" crap is ironic. What is considered "Ebonics" is an offshoot of southern English. Even more ironic is this. I remember when I was getting made fun of. I grew up expecting Black people to say those kinds of things towards me. It was something I heard of before, so I expected it. What did catch me off guard is when White people started doing it. I was thinking "you're White, why would you make jokes about me 'sounding White'?"

Oddly enough, my sister never heard those comments from Whites. Only from Black females her age. And it was mainly in middle school. I wonder what part being female might have played.

I too get along with people from different countries. Being really into geography, it made it somewhat easy for me to click with someone from a different country. In many cases, not having preconceived notions helps. On the hand, there are still many racist people from abroad. I've run into racist foreigners myself, specifically the gas station attendants. I've met a few Africans who looked down on American Blacks. I remember being made fun of with racial jokes by some Hispanic co-workers(most who were born outside of the USA). It was very blatant, and little was done about it.

I've seen subtle racism, but it was stuff I had to really look at. I got so used to blatant, in-your-face racism growing up, that subtle racism eluded me, until I got to college. Then the subtle stuff kicked in. I was never harassed by the police. Maybe being a small guy might have played a part. However, I have dealt with the police being called on me.

And Black females get racism on a different level. I notice that Black females are rarely considered a sympathetic figure. I've also noticed this. Black females get far less flack for being in interracial relationships than Black men. On the other hand, Black females still deal with other issues. Let's start with hair. Natural African hair is often considered ugly by alot of people. I feel this is why the weave industry is booming. There is also the issue of colorism.

 
Old 05-04-2016, 05:21 PM
 
25,556 posts, read 23,831,511 times
Reputation: 10119
Quote:
Originally Posted by peter_midnight View Post
Personally, I like the South (I'd prefer Nashville, Atlanta, or Charlotte to KY). It's much better than my experiences anywhere above the Mason-Dixon (although Indiana and Michigan have been good to me). Also, no one is being forced back South. The fact is we did not educate ourselves to understand that if we wanted to live somewhere, we would have to work in an Industry conducive to the place and lifestyle that we wanted to live. A black baby boomer and possibly an black Gen X'er probably has a legitimate gripe because of the climate they grew up in, but I'm a millennial (early 80s, so web 1.0 millennial) born in Los Angeles and frankly while it was AWFUL, I had options and just didn't make the right decisions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by peter_midnight View Post
I lived about 20-30 minutes outside of Nashville for a year before moving to KY and honestly, I don't consider KY to be southern (neither do the folks I know in TN, lol). I have been here for about a year and the only friends I've made so far are people at the gay bars and I'm not even gay, lol. When I first got here, I met a lot of people from Boston and NYC and they were the worst. They were racist, rude, and were full of themselves on top of being boring. They remind me a lot of the people I met in San Francisco and Berkeley. In Tennessee, I made friends instantly and still keep in touch with them (one is from Maryland, but moved to Minnesota).
An education is about a lot more than making decisions. Who is going to pay for it, for starters?

Rarely in the professional world is a bachelor degree enough. One needs professional licenses or other forms of certification, and that often requires taking additional courses if not getting a master's degree.

You'd need someone who has a professional career to advise on you the steps you need to take to be able to do all that.

Also what is this "we"? I'm black and I went to Ivy League schools both undergraduate and graduate (I get my masters in Dec). I got my California Teaching Credentials already.

If you want a professional job in a coastal city, my advice is to ask people in the career path you want to take about the steps you need to get into that career. And then you'll have to figure out how to pay for it (financial aid, job, money from parents, or if you're a veteran the GI bill has you covered, etc.)
 
Old 05-04-2016, 05:38 PM
 
205 posts, read 173,533 times
Reputation: 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by theraven24 View Post
"Cali" = no-no.
What is wrong with using Cali?
 
Old 05-04-2016, 06:28 PM
 
205 posts, read 173,533 times
Reputation: 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by green_mariner View Post
Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerburg among a few have done well for themselves. Many of the "squares" do better in future times. However, the world we live in is so focused on "now". Myself, I struggled before finally doing better. Combination of being depressed, not being able to deal with alot of things properly didn't help.

I've grown up in the South, mainly the outskirts of metro Atlanta. Atlanta proper isn't like the rest of the South. However, I do feel that elements of "tradition" and "know your place" can still be found. A certain way Blacks are expected to be.

The whole "you talk White" crap is ironic. What is considered "Ebonics" is an offshoot of southern English. Even more ironic is this. I remember when I was getting made fun of. I grew up expecting Black people to say those kinds of things towards me. It was something I heard of before, so I expected it. What did catch me off guard is when White people started doing it. I was thinking "you're White, why would you make jokes about me 'sounding White'?"

Oddly enough, my sister never heard those comments from Whites. Only from Black females her age. And it was mainly in middle school. I wonder what part being female might have played.

I too get along with people from different countries. Being really into geography, it made it somewhat easy for me to click with someone from a different country. In many cases, not having preconceived notions helps. On the hand, there are still many racist people from abroad. I've run into racist foreigners myself, specifically the gas station attendants. I've met a few Africans who looked down on American Blacks. I remember being made fun of with racial jokes by some Hispanic co-workers(most who were born outside of the USA). It was very blatant, and little was done about it.

I've seen subtle racism, but it was stuff I had to really look at. I got so used to blatant, in-your-face racism growing up, that subtle racism eluded me, until I got to college. Then the subtle stuff kicked in. I was never harassed by the police. Maybe being a small guy might have played a part. However, I have dealt with the police being called on me.

And Black females get racism on a different level. I notice that Black females are rarely considered a sympathetic figure. I've also noticed this. Black females get far less flack for being in interracial relationships than Black men. On the other hand, Black females still deal with other issues. Let's start with hair. Natural African hair is often considered ugly by alot of people. I feel this is why the weave industry is booming. There is also the issue of colorism.
Yes, your mental status definitely plays a role in your success. I'm sure everyone gets discouraged at some point or another but you have to be your own cheerleader, push through the obstacles and remain mentally strong. It sounds as if you are doing pretty well for yourself, though. Obtaining the degrees are half of the battle! You just have to network to obtain the position that is the best fit for you. It does help if you have a mentor. I don't have any female mentors to look up to but, fortunately, one of my best male friends is a systems engineer and is helping me to plan out my educational goals so that I can start calling more shots in my life.

You will most likely be an anomaly as you rise up in the educational and professional ranks but, so what! Just shake the haters off and keep on moving forward towards your personal and professional goals. This definitely tends to be in issue in "our community." Unfortunately, many of us have the "crab in a barrel mentality" and we don't like to see each other succeed. This is why it is definitely important to only surround yourself with like-minded people and cut those off who are working against you.

It does seem that AA males often get the "white" jokes more when they are articulate, as opposed to females. Ironically enough, there are two young guys in one of my classes, one White and the other Middle Eastern that regularly use Ebonics. It's seen as "cool" when others do it but considered ignorant and unlearned if someone AA is heard speaking in that manner around "mixed company." I find it easier to stick to proper grammar rather than code-switch depending on who is around. It just makes life easier for me and at this point, I don't care if people have an issue with the way I speak. Trust me, you will eventually feel the same and just "do you."

It is a given that you will always run into both kind, open-hearted people and ignorant bigots. I make no assumptions when meeting someone until I get to know their character. I do agree that some Africans can be a bit standoffish but some AAs don't help the matter when they make derogatory comments about Africans (such as calling Africa a country a la Raven Symone). (smh). I think people appreciate it when you try to get to know about their culture and, possibly, their language. I was fortunate to have roommates/friends from a variety of countries when helped to open my mind a lot and make me want to learn more. I really enjoy visiting the Acoma pueblo in NM. I was told that they really enjoy when Africans and AAs visit because of our similar historical backgrounds. I met some really lovely people there that I keep in contact with when I can.

I'm sorry to hear that you've had to deal with so many racial issues on the job and in social settings. Again, I think that AA males tend to have it harder in this arena as well (based off of what I have heard from some of my male AA friends in companies with a low percentage of AA employees). I just try my best not to get involved with the crazy company politics, brown nosing and nepotism constantly on display. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do about ignorant people. I just "freeze them out" by ignoring them unless I have to talk about something work related. I guess that is why I've tried to stay in a bubble in my multi-culti cities here on the East Coast. Ironically, when I expect to deal with a potential situation on the road, it never comes. I get really nervous traveling through remote places in states like Alabama but I've never had a negative incident. The most I get is the stares and that's it. Ironically, a friend told me that a South American man called our group the "n word" (under his breath to our backs) when I was at Art Basel Miami last Dec. I was a bit shocked since SoFla is such a melting pot and I've never had any racial incidences there. It did make me upset but I moved on from it quickly. No time to worry about stupidity. I don't know how I'd react if I had to deal with the ignorance on a regular basis though. I dragged a friend of mine on a hike in Arizona back in 2014 and we were the only AAs there (as usual). The other hikers (who were from Utah) were really kind though. They were more curious than anything. I didn't like how one of the women talked badly about the NA tribe who owned the land though. It was extremely disrespectful to me being that they were guests on the reservation, yet they were looking down their noses at their hosts' style of living.

The weave industry and the colorist issue is crazy to me. I refuse to wear a "hair hat" made of another person's hair(lol)! That is so disgusting to me. To each his own though. I'm perfectly happy with the hair and skin God gave me and I wear it with confidence.
 
Old 05-04-2016, 06:35 PM
 
205 posts, read 173,533 times
Reputation: 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by NyWriterdude View Post
[b]

An education is about a lot more than making decisions. Who is going to pay for it, for starters?

Rarely in the professional world is a bachelor degree enough. One needs professional licenses or other forms of certification, and that often requires taking additional courses if not getting a master's degree.

You'd need someone who has a professional career to advise on you the steps you need to take to be able to do all that.

Also what is this "we"? I'm black and I went to Ivy League schools both undergraduate and graduate (I get my masters in Dec). I got my California Teaching Credentials already.

If you want a professional job in a coastal city, my advice is to ask people in the career path you want to take about the steps you need to get into that career. And then you'll have to figure out how to pay for it (financial aid, job, money from parents, or if you're a veteran the GI bill has you covered, etc.)
Agreed. I think that those that are most successful are the ones who have parents who map out their child's educational path BEFORE birth. I am a firm believer that if you decide to have a child, you should pay for them to attend the best schools possible OR ensure that they have a full ride with scholarships. No one should have to start life saddled with immense debt. College just gets more and more expensive and loan defaults are out of control at this point. Mentors also play a huge role in a child's/young adult's educational success. You have to be a very strong-willed and determined person to make it on your own without assistance.
 
Old 05-04-2016, 08:26 PM
 
270 posts, read 272,254 times
Reputation: 225
Quote:
Originally Posted by NyWriterdude View Post
[b]

An education is about a lot more than making decisions. Who is going to pay for it, for starters?

Rarely in the professional world is a bachelor degree enough. One needs professional licenses or other forms of certification, and that often requires taking additional courses if not getting a master's degree.

You'd need someone who has a professional career to advise on you the steps you need to take to be able to do all that.

Also what is this "we"? I'm black and I went to Ivy League schools both undergraduate and graduate (I get my masters in Dec). I got my California Teaching Credentials already.

If you want a professional job in a coastal city, my advice is to ask people in the career path you want to take about the steps you need to get into that career. And then you'll have to figure out how to pay for it (financial aid, job, money from parents, or if you're a veteran the GI bill has you covered, etc.)
Did you even read my post? I was not writing about education as in college, what I was saying is that many of us (i.e. "we") that moved South after our parents and in many cases grandparents migrated to California is because we did not learn for ourselves what it would take to stay in California and make a good living. As an example, I am in the automotive industry in the manufacturing sector (sales). If I did my homework (which I didn't as a teenager or in college), I would have learned that due to the competitive nature of the industry, plants will always be located in low cost areas. Hence, the odds of me getting a job in this sector in CA that pays comparable to what I can bring home in the south and midwest in discretionary income adjusted for the cost of living are RIDICULOUSLY high. The flip side to that is if you're willing to live in these areas and have the skills in demand, you can definitely get ahead because many that live here don't have the skills. Those that have the skills don't want to move to this part of the country. So, when deciding on what to study (if people choose to study), they should consider where the jobs are in demand for what they want to do.

Also, in my company (and throughout the industry), we have a guy that has a high school diploma making well into 6 figures. I admit my business is NOT normal, but it proves that it can be done. Only the sales department makes this amount though and we do work insane hours most of the year. I do know an engineering manager with just a bachelor's that makes $200K working in production. He does have 20 plus years experience.
 
Old 05-04-2016, 08:45 PM
 
Location: Elysium
12,305 posts, read 8,005,257 times
Reputation: 9108
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYtoDC View Post
What is wrong with using Cali?
Nothing if you are talking about a Colombian city. Like San Franciscans don't like the term "Frisco" Angelenos in particular first identify as or from LA then the Southland or Southern California and rarely from California as a whole. "Cali" wasn't a term I heard until rappers from the east coast started using it, and then two rappers got shot to death.
 
Old 05-04-2016, 08:48 PM
 
270 posts, read 272,254 times
Reputation: 225
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYtoDC View Post
You'd be surprised. I don't know about Boston but NYC locals are very down to earth. It all depends on what area they are from, of course. My friends all grew up in Brooklyn and they were the coolest people you could ever meet. There is a lot of pride but the people I personally knew never shoved it in anyone's face (with the exception of maybe one person).

We don't have a huge Mexican population in the NE so that probably has a lot to do with it. NYC is filled with Cubans, Puerto Ricans, Dominicans and some Central/South Americans. DC is mostly Central American so a lot of people are ignorant to the cultural differences. I had only one friend who was Mexican American when I went to school in Miami but she was from Wisconsin. Most people I met from Cali while I was there there were White.

Yeah, I figured that Compton still had some issues. A lot of the hipsters will still move in anyways and deal with any crime because it is inexpensive. That's what they did in my area in NYC. They are still raising the prices somewhat there anyways from what I have seen on Zillow but it is definitely more affordable than other areas. I had no problems in Long Beach but, then again, I only drove through it briefly. Do you know anything about Rialto? I think I may still have some relatives over there as well.
Here's what it boils down to for me. Everyone within less the 2 minutes will tell me they're from NY immediately. I don't do this. I don't know anyone outside of NYC that does this. No offense, but your username even tells us, lol. I suggest you not do this if you move to Southern California and like the other poster said, don't use the word "Cali." You'll see a lot of hate on this board alone from natives (I don't care, I loved the LL Cool J song). Either way, that's my problem, but I know a few others back home that feel similarly. Proceed with caution is my advice.

As for the race thing, what really bothers me is that I'm a 4th generation Chicano. If you watch the movie Blood In, Blood Out or American Me, imagine that I'm the son of that I'm the generation after those guys that were already born here. Or I suppose my dad would have been the son of the people portrayed in the film Zoot Suit. My point is if you're expecting me to dance and play music like Ricky Ricardo, you're in for a shock, lol. I do love La Bamba and Lowrider though.

It would be great if CD locals can give input on this, but I highly doubt hipsters are going to move to Compton. There is absolutely 0 benefit to living in Compton for them. The commute to where that group is likely to work is too far and if you've ever been anywhere near that courthouse at night, good luck. Plus, you have the immigrants that will put 6 people to a house and save on rent to compete against. I think the hipsters will likely go to places like South Central, Watts (last I heard shootings in the middle of the day over there), Hollywood, and Long Beach. If the tech industry starts to move closer to Compton, then maybe a move there would be in the cards. My friends love Long Beach, but I can't stand that area or anywhere south of it. I was always a San Fernando Valley, Hollywood, Santa Monica, or West LA kind of guy.

And although I know of Rialto, I don't know much about it.
 
Old 05-04-2016, 08:49 PM
 
270 posts, read 272,254 times
Reputation: 225
Quote:
Originally Posted by Taiko View Post
Nothing if you are talking about a Colombian city. Like San Franciscans don't like the term "Frisco" Angelenos in particular first identify as or from LA then the Southland or Southern California and rarely from California as a whole. "Cali" wasn't a term I heard until rappers from the east coast started using it, and then two rappers got shot to death.
I'm from San Pedro. I will only identify as from LA if no one knows my hometown, but most of us hate the city of Los Angeles. I used to say South Bay until it caused confusion in the Bay Area, lol.
 
Old 05-04-2016, 08:50 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles
2,436 posts, read 2,777,673 times
Reputation: 2284
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYtoDC View Post
What is wrong with using Cali?
It's very annoying to hear for some native Californians, including myself. Very typical of someone who wasn't born in California to refer to the state as "Cali (*shudder*)," especially those from the East coast. Some people think they sound cool when they use that term. It's just VERY annoying to hear and pretty much a dead giveaway for transplants.

Urban Dictionary: Cali
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