A Date in Los Angeles (Santa Monica: income, home, low income)

[ChocolateTae]

Originally Posted by amc760

maybe amoeba is having a good in-store?

I think a trip to the movies would be a "classic date" scenario. arc light cinemas in hollywood is awesome.

I personally never thought going to the movies was a "classic date" scenario. How can you get to know the other person if you're sitting in a movie theatre watching a movie? It's a perfectly fine date for couples but not for people who are "dating". Just my two cents though.

I think a nice dinner, some live music and a few drinks maybe, and a walk on the beach would be a perfect date. I'm new to CA so I can't tell you where to go though. Goodluck with your date though.

[katenik]

Originally Posted by Curious Jay

The observatory? You mean the one in Griffith Park? What do people/couples do up there? Do tell.

And on second thought, I was just thinking that it's pointless to pour money into a first date: it's just an interview after all. What if you don't hit it off? I don't want to flush 50-100 on a girl I won't want to see again! Maybe a walk on the beach and a simple fast food dinner like IN N OUT would be a light, low pressure date - sometimes I get carried away with the theatrics.

yes, i mean in griffith park. you go there to get a beautiful view of the city on a clear night. you can go inside and take advantage of the organized attractions, if you like, but that isn't what appeals to me.

i don't know how old you are, but if you're past college age, and have a job, i think you should be prepared to spend a little money, even on a first date. when i was younger, i wouldn't have gone out twice with someone who took me out for fast food, and considered it a date. if you're really interested in this girl, you have to show her that you value her company enough to put yourself out for the pleasure of spending time with her. you don't have to spend a bundle, but $50-100 is hardly a lot for dinner and drinks for two. if you really need to watch your wallet, then, by all means, go somewhere like the getty or observatory which won't cost more than parking, but has a lot to offer in terms of atmosphere. if she's a quality person, she'll be more impressed by your thoughtfulness than how much money you spend, but buying her a burger at in n out isn't very thoughtful, unless that's what she requests.

[katenik]

Originally Posted by Curious Jay

Here's another one: the Santa Monica Ferris Wheel! Has anyone been on this? Is the view nice? Or is it a cheesy idea? I thought it would be cute and even romantic, from a girl's POV.

This was how I imagined it: a barefoot afternoon stroll along Santa Monica Beach, I'll bring a beer for myself and an apple cider for the lady - courtesy of my mini-cooler where the alcoholic beverages will be hidden from view. Then shoes on and a ride on the ferris wheel as the sun goes down. And finally a short walk to the Third Street Promenade for a bite and a movie. So much for "free" - ha!

I'm always open to any other ideas. Hope to see some nice ones in the morning when I get to work - I'm calling her on my lunch break.

that sounds like a lovely idea. (but never presume that a lady doesn't drink beer; i would be quite put out if you didn't bring enough for me, assuming it was good beer. HA!)

[amc760]

Originally Posted by ChocolateTae

I personally never thought going to the movies was a "classic date" scenario. How can you get to know the other person if you're sitting in a movie theatre watching a movie? It's a perfectly fine date for couples but not for people who are "dating". Just my two cents though.

I think a nice dinner, some live music and a few drinks maybe, and a walk on the beach would be a perfect date. I'm new to CA so I can't tell you where to go though. Goodluck with your date though.

Yeah, a date at the movies can be kinda akward, especially if the movie sucks, lol.

I think it's better for people who are already aquainted(sp?) on a first date, I would think discussing a movie would be something to add to conversation

[Prince of Lombards]

Originally Posted by Curious Jay

The observatory? You mean the one in Griffith Park? What do people/couples do up there? Do tell.

I was there a few weeks ago. They have exihibits about reflectors, refractors, meteors, open clusters, globulars, nebulas, radiation, our planets, extrasolar planets, our moon, main sequence stars, and they even have a spark chamber that reacts to cosmic particles in real time and a tesla coil that they turn on occasionally. Your date will love it if she's a typical L.A. woman.

[CESpeed]

Originally Posted by Curious Jay

I was thinking about the Getty Museum at night but I haven't been in over 3 years. What's the damage in dollars? I don't plan to eat there, btw. I think admission is free... but what about parking?

Parking is $8. But there is street parking nearby, just pay attention to the sings. Two can eat in the cafe for about $20.00

[Curious Jay]

Originally Posted by katenik

yes, i mean in griffith park. you go there to get a beautiful view of the city on a clear night. you can go inside and take advantage of the organized attractions, if you like, but that isn't what appeals to me.

i don't know how old you are, but if you're past college age, and have a job, i think you should be prepared to spend a little money, even on a first date. when i was younger, i wouldn't have gone out twice with someone who took me out for fast food, and considered it a date. if you're really interested in this girl, you have to show her that you value her company enough to put yourself out for the pleasure of spending time with her. you don't have to spend a bundle, but $50-100 is hardly a lot for dinner and drinks for two. if you really need to watch your wallet, then, by all means, go somewhere like the getty or observatory which won't cost more than parking, but has a lot to offer in terms of atmosphere. if she's a quality person, she'll be more impressed by your thoughtfulness than how much money you spend, but buying her a burger at in n out isn't very thoughtful, unless that's what she requests.

Hey with all due respect you contradict yourself a bit. You may also harbor some latent feminine materialism where you equate the money your date spends on you with your self-worth (i.e. if he spends a 'respectable' amount on me I'm worth it because men only spend money on desirable women - if he doesn't I feel insulted and he's a cheap bastard). Come on, face it. You obliquely chastize me for supposedly being cheap then go on to say that quality women won't care how much you spend on her. Well, I happen to agree with the latter only! I don't agree with double-standards.

Granted, I'm a recent graduate and she's in her last year in college, but I firmly believe that it's about the company you keep. And at the risk of sounding juvenile, I can confidently tell you that I've gone on the cheapest dates imaginable and spent the night at her place (not that just getting laid is my goal, but hey it's happened).

I've read your posts (and you're a prolific and thoughtful poster) - from them I get the impression that you're at least in your 30s Kate and possibly in your 40s or 50s, and if that's true I appreciate that you have a different perspective - women that age are probably used to the finer things in life, from having dated men who are typically a bit older than them and have established careers and a relative abundance of disposable income.

And besides, if I really like a girl I wouldn't mind spending money on her. But I think it's absolutely foolish to spend money on a girl who you might NEVER see again. Think about this - on most first dates a woman has no real emotional connection with you and can decide not to see you again at the drop of a hat. Can't really blame her either - dating's about finding someone compatible or just having fun (never mind that young people these days don't really "date" anymore). So faced with this reality why blow money on her on a first date? "Cos she's worth it", in the marketing rhetoric of L'Oreal? PLEASE.

For me and a lot of guys I know it's not about the whole 'grand gesture/production' anymore. That's too old-school and women these days are hardly fuzzy little kittens, a lot of them are barracudas! I've done it before where I've spent 150-200 bucks organizing an outing only to be told that 'it's not gonna work' when I called for a second date (She then proceeded to go to another guy's house to watch a DVD and then have sex with him - if that doesn't prove that it's mostly about the company, then I don't know what!). Conversely I've spent 11.99 on two In-N-Out double-doubles and milkshakes and gotten a second date (then a third, then a fourth.. and so on), and I've even had girls pay for our first dates. Yes... goodbye, chivalry, hello Feminism/Women's Rights and 21st Century dating!

So in summation it's not being cheap, imo - it's common sense - never make stupid investments and first dates/new women fall under the same category. They have to prove themselves to me on a first date just as much as I have to, and I won't spend lots of money on a girl who hasn't passed my litmus test. I have my record and personal experience to stand by this and most of my buddies would probably say the same. Nevertheless you've been very helpful so thank you.

[Hungry For Cheese]

Don't listen to Kate and her "spend more to show shes worth it crap".
Turn on 97.1 mid-day and learn how not to spend more than $40 on a date.
I took a girl to Carls Jr. then the family boat in the harbor and proceeded to hit it within 30 mins. She was turned on by the "badness" of feeding her chicken strips and my smile or something...Do your thing.

[Charles]

First date? You know you need to keep it as low key as possible. Forget the cooler and booze. What message would you be sending? What might she think of your judgment, especially breaking the law?

Ferris Wheel? Pier Stroll? Sounds good, especially if you are familiar with parking and everything goes smooth, no worries, hassles, traffic, etc. Want to reduce tension/stress/risk as much as possible. Who isn't just a little nervous on a first date?

My first date with my wife was simply Starbucks and chat. (We'd broken the ice with several phone calls in the prior weeks so she already knew I was a dork.) Later dates were bike rides on the bikeway in Santa Monica and hiking.

Getty Museum? Are either of you familiar with it? I've never been there. I've heard it was really good; I'd think on a first date you'd want to pay more attention to your date than both of you constantly attending to the exhibits....something to think about...might be too distracting? Sort of the same for the Tesla exhibits and such at the Planetarium?? Maybe a second or third date?

I think the overall message is low key, relax, an environment that encourages talking but not too boring.

What the heck, let us know how it goes.

[CESpeed]

There is a distinct difference betwen going on an inxpensive date because the guy has a low income and going on an inexpensive date because the guy is being a jerk and doesn't want to spend any money in case he doesn't "hit it". When I met my ex-husband, we were both riding the bus, when I married him we still didn't have any money. But he treated me like I was important to him. And that's why I married him and why even though we are no longer married, we are still friends.

It's starting to sound more and more like you want a "sex guarantee" before you'll decide to spend your precious money on a woman. There are women for guys who think like that...they're called prostitutes and that's why I think prostitution should be legal: so the jerks who only want sex can go pay for it and women who are looking for a relationship have better chance of finding a real man instead of a sex hound. Another reason I NEVER have sex during the first month. To weed out the sex hounds. I know a guy who is into me will wait and prove he wants me, not just my body.