Making Friends in Los Angeles (how much, live, shops)

[pab20]

Hi everyone..i am an italian guy, i just moved to L.A. after a trip, i totally fell in love for this city so i decided to come and get enrolled in a school...but i am telling you all....making friends here in L.A. is really hard!!!

[Morphous01]

Originally Posted by Panks

Have you looked on Craigslist for social groups? I usually see a few that say they are looking for members. Why not put in a ad for one of your own on a topic that interests you?

Also, you generally don't have to belong to the synagogue or church to attend a function. I've never seen anything advertised "for members only" since everyone has to pay to attend anyway.

There are book groups and lectures and political events and evening classes for adults on zillions of topics that could be fun like wines, pottery etc...

Good luck

No, dont use craiglists many people have wound up in trouble for using that website; one girl met a guy on there and has never been seen since.

[fatmancomics]

I've lived in L.A. my whole life and have never had a problem making friends. It's just a matter of personality. If you're shy and introverted, you're not going to make too many friends no matter what activity you do or what group you join to try to make friends.
In classes, and anywhere, you have to be boisterous without actually being annoying.
Why would you be surprised that nobody wants to be your friend when your initial meeting was for possible romance? Anyone using a dating service to meet friends is deluding themselves.
The places where it's been the easiest to meet friends for me has been in art classes and English classes. Those two automatically give you subject matter for conversations and discussions. Good luck.

[fatmancomics]

I just finished reading the rest of the thread and some of you guys have some high expectations from your friends! Someone who cares more about you than themselves?! Good luck!

Even if you find someone who is willing to put you before themselves, there's something wrong with them. Nobody should love anyone else more than they love themselves. And if you're the one who puts your friend(s) ahead of yourself then there's something wrong with you.

Being sociable doesn't necessarily mean always having someone to go places with either. Every time that I met someone new it was when I was there by myself. Don't be afraid to go to museums or any other activities by yourself. People are more apt to talk to you when you're alone than when you're already there with a friend anyway.

[airelyn]

Hello. My name is Aire and I`m from Estonia. It`s very sad that you are so alone. I have never been in LA, but I think it is a very beautiful place. Do you want to be my letter friend? I`m 30years old, I live in a small village and I`m a teacher. I be very happy if you want to write to me. I can`t wait to hear from you. My e-mail address is: airelyn@hot.ee

Originally Posted by recentmover

I'm a late thirties single female in Los Angeles living on the Westside. I moved here about two years ago and still find it extremely difficult to make friends. I'm not religious, so church is out, and the one Meetup group I attended, for hiking, was not very friendly (I had to initiate all conversation). The few women who have actually reached out to me have, in some unfortunate twist of fate, all moved away. Friends of friends have invited me out once or twice but then were unavailable to get together again. My current workplace is very small and I am unlikely to socialize with my coworkers.

I've tried a lot of online dating, but out of the more than 40 dates I've been on, only one has become a friend. It seems that the protocol here is to "disappear" when not romantically interested (the rudeness of that is still difficult for me to accept), so making friends with men seems about as impossible as befriending women.

I used to be social and have a ton of friends, so I figure that I can't be the only one finding this difficult. Anyone have any good suggestions on groups, clubs, or activities? I'm pretty much at a loss. I do dance, and have met a few people that way, but we only see each other at dance events.

[Tasksgirl]

I've had the same problem, I moved here right after high school, and nearly 5 years later I don't have any friends to show for it. I have aquantainces and 1 or 2 I could call a friend but I don't see them often. One good friend I made when we both had to go to Juarez with our husbands for their visa interviews, had to leave to Korea for a year right afterward! Luckily my husbands family lives right down the hall in our building so I have my BIL and SIL and am not totally lonely.. but I do wish I had someone else to do things with or talk to..

[Brandon26pdx]

Everyone is usually always preoccupied with their own business...that's just city life in general and not really specific to southern California. You think everyone's a chatty Cathy in NYC or Seattle or where ever? Hardly. You just have to get in where you fit in (to use an old cliche')

Common interest clubs are a good place to start...that at least gives you something innocuous to chit-chat about while deciding if this or that person is your kind of people or not. I've met okay people through "car clubs", because that's just a personal pet interest of mine. (If you like cars, check out Cars N' Coffee on Saturday morning in Irvine!)

Other hot spots that give you extended "exposure" to other people that I've personally had luck with: group fitness activities at the gym, group projects at school/work, hanging out by the pool/hottub at your apt complex (bonus social possibility points if you've got a beer or other alcoholic beverage in hand, but use this powerful tool sparingly...getting drunk and looking stupid tends to peg you the wrong way quickly), or a part time "fun job", but it has to be the right type of job if you're trying to meet people you might actually want to be friends with.

[Detective Lopez]

I'm almost tempted to totally agree w/ your comment - only because when I think about it - Even as a native Angeleno, my true friends are few from high school that I seldom see. And aside from that, I (as well as my friends) tend to be very independent in the sense that we often hang out by ourselves. Maybe it's got something to do w/ so much driving in this city that by default, people become use to hanging by themselves, then ultimately leading a lifestyle like that ? ? ? ?

[Detective Lopez]

ok italian guy - let's be friends! my wife is from argentina and speaks fluent italian - come over, let's eat and hang out!

[Jer3784]

Honestly, if you are living in a city for over 5 years and have NO friends, you arent doing something right. Plus, all these suggestions are time killers. Who really meets up at common interest clubs anymore?

This isnt high school. lol