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Old 08-16-2008, 11:49 PM
 
Location: Earth
3,482 posts, read 2,523,860 times
Reputation: 2554

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hairloom1 View Post
My boyfriend and I, we have been on and off in the past. Sometimes I think he only dates me because of my looks. I hope it can get past the superficial level. I also don't take money from my boyfriend, my family is middle class. I don't want to be the "Trophy girlfriend".

My boyfriend trusts me enough to go into business with him. A few days ago I just turned 20 years old. I told him on my Birthday "If we do decide to go into Business together I want you to claim the companies rights in your name. Because if we ever had a massive falling-out, I would want out of the business. I'm sure I can make it on my own" (No Hard Feelings) That in itself is what triggered him to trust me more in that regard.

The property tax is so expensive for expanding business though especially in Southern California.

I have a question: My boyfriend is buying a house in "Topanga Canyon/Pacific Palisades" area. If I moved in with him. How far is the commute to UCLA in Beverly Hills. If you had to average it. I ask because I rarely go that area.
divorce rate is 50/50. A lot of times it's over money. If you really think he wants u as a trophy wife, then just remember, he can get a new one when u get old since he has the money.

Go to NYU! It's an awesome school. Their Stern business school is ranked right below Columbia's. The area and atmosphere are great. Plus, u won't need a car and if you dorm in NYU, u won't have to worry about apartments that much and you'll be living in manhatten! You'll have convient subway system and 3 international airports with london 6 hours away on a cheap fight and from there Europe. you always are on the northeast coridoor for train lines so you can travel from boston to philly to DC to baltimore. If you've lived in the west coast most of your life, try out the east coast. NYC is really for the young and when will you ever be able to do such a thing ago while you are young.

If he really loves you, he will wait for until you finish school. Follow your dream!

My advice, you sound like an ambitionous woman. You make your boyfriend sound like he wants content say-yes woman almost like a JAckie Kennedy to look elegant and loyal. I don't think you would be happy in such situation.

Finish school and stay in NYC. it is one of the best places for marketing. If you are pretty, you can have any man while u are young. Find a content but dependable, stable, civil servant engineer who would be like OMG just to have you. Doing so, you can concentrate on your ambition, make more of the money, and career and take risks while the civil servent engineer will have steady 80 hour pay period job and take off a lot and watch the kids so they don't become scumbags.

attachment causes suffering in the dharmic philosphy. detach yourself and go to nyc and never look back!

by the way, stop by Kati Roll since you'lll be Macdaougal street although I prefer the one at midtown.

http://www.thekatirollcompany.com/

Last edited by Dangerous-Boy; 08-17-2008 at 12:08 AM..
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Old 08-16-2008, 11:59 PM
 
1,712 posts, read 5,340,133 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dangerous-Boy View Post
divorce rate is 50/50. A lot of times it's over money. If you really think he wants u as a trophy wife, then just remember, he can get a new one when u get old since he has the money.
This is good advice.

Quote:
If he really loves you, he will wait for until you finish school. Follow your dream!
This is not good advice. Long-distance relationships are difficult at best, very often do not work out, and in your case, would not be justified given that if you stay with your boyfriend you would be better-served by the UCLA degree. I am from the East Coast so am more in tune with NYU, but definitely understand that the UCLA degree would play better out here.

The big word is "if", isn't it?
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Old 08-17-2008, 12:10 AM
 
Location: Earth
3,482 posts, read 2,523,860 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hsw View Post
Business 101....w/o a written contract, who knows what economics one might derive from any relationship?

NYU is a fairly unremarkable B-school, largely for those who can't gain admission to a more credible school....

UCLA has a decent alumni network in LA region...and commands similar respect in LA region as NYU might in NYC region...

Realize that, in past 10+yrs, almost no one intelligent in financial industry has bothered going to graduate B-school....they join a financial analyst program at one of the major NYC investment banks post-college; stay a yr or two, and the smartest ones migrate to hedge funds....

Today, any graduate B-school, incl Wharton/Harvard/Stanford, is for the slower kids....

They had a special on Hedge fund managers on CNBC. My god the money. They crap on a neurosurgeon's salary! And the lifestyles! I cried.
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Old 08-17-2008, 12:12 AM
 
Location: Earth
3,482 posts, read 2,523,860 times
Reputation: 2554
Quote:
Originally Posted by timelesschild View Post
This is good advice.



This is not good advice. Long-distance relationships are difficult at best, very often do not work out, and in your case, would not be justified given that if you stay with your boyfriend you would be better-served by the UCLA degree. I am from the East Coast so am more in tune with NYU, but definitely understand that the UCLA degree would play better out here.

The big word is "if", isn't it?

I think you're right. She should just go.
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Old 08-17-2008, 06:40 AM
 
Location: Hot Springs, AR
5,612 posts, read 13,237,860 times
Reputation: 3740
God blessed women with intuition for a reason. You have been given excellent advice. I'll throw aomething else in with it: Live your life for YOU. If you want to go to NY for school, GO. Let your head, not your heart, rule your decision. Especially if you two are off-and-on. If you say you can live on your own without his money, do it. The two of you are very young. You have plenty of time to be together.

The best sdvice you've been given her bears repeating: if the two of you are meant to be, you will be and your going to business school in NY won't change that.

You'll be much happier if you develop your independent self than if you live your life to fit your boyfriend's needs. Think about this: How will you feel in twenty years, if you arrange you life around his only to have him decide you are good enough anymore? Many women find themselves in this position. And if you do decide to stay and create this life with him, DON'T YOU DARE GIVE UP YOUR SECURITY! If you help him develop and grow his business, you are entitled to benefit from it. And do. You have the attitude of not living off of him, and right now, it is his money, but as time goes on, it's not just his, it becomes yours, too. Good Luck.
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Old 08-17-2008, 02:47 PM
 
24 posts, read 45,301 times
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21 years old and 600k annually? LOL I need to be in that business. I am 22 and just graduated with my marketing degree. I interned for 6 months in Torrance last year and I'm currenlty looking for jobs in California. I currently reside in NY. Our situations have a couple similarities. However, I am currently facing difficulty getting calls back on job vacancies. Keep your head up, things work out for the better in the end.
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Old 08-17-2008, 04:41 PM
 
Location: Earth
3,482 posts, read 2,523,860 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yougotfitched View Post
21 years old and 600k annually? LOL I need to be in that business. I am 22 and just graduated with my marketing degree. I interned for 6 months in Torrance last year and I'm currenlty looking for jobs in California. I currently reside in NY. Our situations have a couple similarities. However, I am currently facing difficulty getting calls back on job vacancies. Keep your head up, things work out for the better in the end.
word if, i had that kind of money, i would retire, buy and pay off a house, and finally get a dog.
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Old 08-17-2008, 06:27 PM
 
11 posts, read 33,953 times
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My boyfriend talked about getting married to me. But I said "we where too young" and that we should take it slow. He always calls me and always wants to be with me.

But he said that long-distance relationships are too hard, and I totally agree with him. He is making 600,000 GROSS. That means he has to pay back to the Business some of it, and taxes. All of those other things. His father can pull out two million out of the bank easy. I don't know how much his mother has.

If he wants to make me partner I would make over 300,000 by the age of 25. Which would make me financially secure for the rest of my life. He makes that much money not because he accomplished a lot but because he inheritted the business.

He wants to make "Partner" with me because he hates dealing with the Finance/Accounting part of the job. So he wants me to do that.

I doubt I'd be the trophy wife. Just the trophy looks. I guess that is my fault. Because I look like a typical California tan girl with designer handbags and clothes.
Am I stupid? I can have financial security for the rest of my life living California. VS struggling in NYC but end up sort of succesful at the end. I think its more logical to stay with my boyfriend in California. This is my future, and being made partner probably at the age of 23 isn't something that I should give up. How many people get MY opportunity? Really how many at MY age.

I think I would be pretty stupid if I did give it up.




I think of it this way.

When Emotional relationship fail me, I'll have hundreds of thousands of dollars in the bank waiting for me. and I can retire at the age of 50.

Last edited by Hairloom1; 08-17-2008 at 06:36 PM..
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Old 08-17-2008, 06:56 PM
 
2,751 posts, read 4,710,125 times
Reputation: 1767
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hairloom1 View Post
My boyfriend talked about getting married to me. But I said "we where too young" and that we should take it slow. He always calls me and always wants to be with me.

But he said that long-distance relationships are too hard, and I totally agree with him. He is making 600,000 GROSS. That means he has to pay back to the Business some of it, and taxes. All of those other things. His father can pull out two million out of the bank easy. I don't know how much his mother has.

If he wants to make me partner I would make over 300,000 by the age of 25. Which would make me financially secure for the rest of my life. He makes that much money not because he accomplished a lot but because he inheritted the business.

He wants to make "Partner" with me because he hates dealing with the Finance/Accounting part of the job. So he wants me to do that.

I doubt I'd be the trophy wife. Just the trophy looks. I guess that is my fault. Because I look like a typical California tan girl with designer handbags and clothes.
Am I stupid? I can have financial security for the rest of my life living California. VS struggling in NYC but end up sort of succesful at the end. I think its more logical to stay with my boyfriend in California. This is my future, and being made partner probably at the age of 23 isn't something that I should give up. How many people get MY opportunity? Really how many at MY age.

I think I would be pretty stupid if I did give it up.




I think of it this way.

When Emotional relationship fail me, I'll have hundreds of thousands of dollars in the bank waiting for me. and I can retire at the age of 50.
Your mind is made up, was already made up before you started this thread. When you ask people what they honestly think about a situation and they take the trouble to earnestly answer, the least you could have been from the beginning was equally earnest. That said, I for one won't call you a bad person for going for the bread, not now that you have been honest about where your priorities truly lie. But if things don't work out for you the way you imagined, and if God forbid by that time your looks have started to fade, don't blame the generous people on this board who tried to warn you in advance.
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Old 08-17-2008, 08:03 PM
 
Location: Hot Springs, AR
5,612 posts, read 13,237,860 times
Reputation: 3740
You are assuming an awful lot. You are assuming financial security if you stay and get married when you've already decided you are too young. What happens if that business folds? (And yes it can happen) What if he decided he wants someone else? You've already agreed to sign away your financial stake in the company. If you want financial security, learn how to take care of yourself.
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