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Old 05-01-2009, 05:09 PM
 
Location: Southern California
12,630 posts, read 9,583,975 times
Reputation: 8291

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Quote:
Originally Posted by luciusFlorio View Post

I am a 28 year old white single male who recently moved here from the east coast. I live in Beverly Hills now...

...When a friend who had recently moved to CA. offered me a room in his apartment for a nominal price I gladly accepted, thinking that life in california with abundant sunshine, beautiful and friendly people would do wonders for my depression-prone self. But things didnt exactly work out that way. My depression hasn't gone anywhere and it is only intensified when I come into contact -on a daily basis- with rude and unfriendly people.

...

Now, an attempt at a solution. are there any towns outside LA (not too far from Hancock Park though) where I can find a friendlier environment and nominal rent?
Your help would be greatly appreciated, folks.
I think that no matter where you go you're going have problems. The challenge you're having, in my opinion, is not an issue of the location, but of the mind.
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Old 05-01-2009, 05:15 PM
 
Location: TX
556 posts, read 700,714 times
Reputation: 232
I'm not living in the LA area yet but hopefully will be soon. Like others said try finding other activities that do not include drinking. You say you feel good when you drink but then when your not you feel depressed. This is kind of the same reaction with other drugs, for example when people do Coke they feel great, however when they are coming off the high they feel depressed alot of the times. Not saying you can't drink, just find some other things to do as well especially since your a newcomer in a big city.

Check out some of the other venues out there, do you like comedy? I heard they have great comedy clubs. What about a certain type of music? Blues, Jazz, live rock? I'm sure someone on here can point you into some direction into specific places offering those.

How about picking up surfing? Skiing (getting warmer out there though), kayacking, boating, chuch events, big brother community oriented stuff, golfing. Also I'm not sure if you went to college or not but see if your university has a alumni group out on the west coast in LA.

Also do you like sports? Are you a Yankees or NY Giants/Jets fan? I know when I went out and was testing with the LAPD I wanted to watch the football games and I saw a Pittsburgh Steelers fan club watching the games at the Hooters in Hollywood (a good showing of fans, they rented the entire top floor for the playoff game). Try finding a NY sports team type club if your into sports.

Good luck.
-E
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Old 05-01-2009, 05:20 PM
 
32 posts, read 131,299 times
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Folks, your advice and input is much appreciated.
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Old 05-01-2009, 05:27 PM
 
Location: Dallas, Texas
1,891 posts, read 2,494,885 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luciusFlorio View Post
Thanks for the kind words bro.
I guess if Tony Soprano can go see a shrink then anyone can...
What about outlying towns like redondo beach, manhattan beach and so on? do you think a move there would make a difference?

The South Bay is nice but it's a grind of a commute from there to Hancock Park with a car, let alone without.
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Old 05-01-2009, 06:04 PM
 
5,375 posts, read 7,193,306 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luciusFlorio View Post
I've been looking to become part of a tight knit social circle/community where people look out for each other...
I don't think we have that here, except perhaps in a religious context. That doesn't work for me because I'm agnostic.

Quote:
Originally Posted by luciusFlorio View Post
I do love the hiking here but since I don't have a car it is not easy to get to these trails very often.
You might try the Sierra Club. They have organized hikes several times a week. Some of the hikes start at a designated meeting spot, perhaps a restaurant or other venue, and then car pool to the trail head. It's possible that you might find it easier to get to the meeting spot than to a trail head.

You're worsening your problem by not having a car. Los Angeles is a driving kind of place. I find it an oddity when I meet somebody who doesn't own a car, which is a rarity. You're the odd man out when you don't own a car. I'm not moralizing. I'm just telling it like it is.

Some of the hikes are designated Sierra Singles, for those who want to meet people to date. After most hikes there is a get together, often a pizza place, which is your chance to socialize.

Unfortunately for me I never once met anybody who I wanted to date, in 3-4 years of hiking with SC. There were some pretty good hikes though, worth it even if you're not interested in socializing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by luciusFlorio View Post
But someone once said smile even if you dont mean it, eventually you will mean it...
Actually I know that to be true. I've tried it and you get better reactions out of people, and strangely it makes you feel better too, like somehow just going through the muscular exercise affects your mind. I've fallen out of the smile habit (there's plenty of things to be unhappy about) and I've been recently thinking about working harder at it.

Bar hopping didn't work for me by the way. You meet the kind of people who hang around bars boozing it up. (Duh!) I like drinking to a degree but I don't like hanging around with professional drinkers.
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Old 05-01-2009, 08:20 PM
 
5,603 posts, read 8,086,338 times
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Everyone is making great suggestions (I particularly liked the "smile" one because it is soooo true!), so I'll suggest a couple of places I've found where it was easy to strike up a conversation with someone else:

1. The Farmer's Market near the Grove
2. Los Angeles County Art Musuem (on Friday evenings, when they have free concerts on the patio and book signings and free museum admission and they serve food and drinks).

Both are between Beverly Hills and Hancock Park.
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Old 05-01-2009, 08:26 PM
 
5,375 posts, read 7,193,306 times
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Wow! LACMA is a great idea! Seeya there!

Prolly the Natural History Museum of Los Angeles (NHM) too.
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Old 05-01-2009, 08:42 PM
 
5,603 posts, read 8,086,338 times
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The Natural History Museum has that thing called "First Fridays" which looks like real fun though I don't know how someone without a car would get there... (maybe a taxi part way? Then take Metrolink?)

I wanted to go to the First Friday tonight but the tickets were already sold out when I checked. I love one of the bands playing tonight.

LA has tons and tons of cultural things to do. Do you get LA Weekly every week? Or the "LA Downtown News"? (You can check both online.) Also experiencela.com

LA has a lot of events!
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Old 05-01-2009, 08:56 PM
 
4,360 posts, read 3,689,318 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MIKEETC View Post
I think that no matter where you go you're going have problems. The challenge you're having, in my opinion, is not an issue of the location, but of the mind.
Simply put and spot on.
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Old 05-01-2009, 09:37 PM
 
5,375 posts, read 7,193,306 times
Reputation: 2769
Quote:
Originally Posted by UB50 View Post
The Natural History Museum has that thing called "First Fridays" which looks like real fun though I don't know how someone without a car would get there... (maybe a taxi part way? Then take Metrolink?)
Maybe, just maybe, you should buy a car?

I don't know what urbanites from other cities are thinking. Los Angeles isn't a walking city, nor is it a mass transportation city. It's a driving city! If you don't own a car then you're restricted from participation in many if not most venues.

Get a car or move to a city where you don't need one. Quit whining that Los Angeles isn't New York or whatever city you have in mind. It isn't. Accept that!
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