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Anything less than Holmby Hills, San Marino or Malibu Colony is obvious nouveau riche arriviste at its worst, mon cher. How dare one buy pret-a-porter in Beverly Hills instead of bespoke tailoring?
Comprendez-vous? Or are you. . .faux? |
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Touche' Fastfilm!
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I'd like to invite you to come stay at my mansion in Beverly Hills, but I'm having all the guest rooms redone. Besides, I'm the wealthiest and best looking chap on my street, so I couldn't possibly have a newcomer simply show up -- not without references and knowing your aptitude at polo and sailing. No offense, old chap. BTW, if you're looking to rent a Bell 206 to do some house shopping in the hills, give me a PM and i'll see if I can set something up if i'm not using the chopper that day. Cheerio. |
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How would I know much about the Orange County you ask? Let's just say I formed that opinion as I was whisked away via Maybach 62 S en route to LAX to catch a red-eye flight back to London after a brief appearance at a charity event. To make matters worse, it must have been even more horrendous than I remember because I was sedated that weekend due to the strain of my constant jet-setting. Surely, that appearance in "The OC" was more torture than non-front row seats at Milan Fashion Week. Should I ever go back home to Paris or Milan with news that I've moved into Orange County, I would likely be ridiculed and snubbed by my equally powerful and beautiful counterparts. And you ask of my assistant? She's currently busy campaigning for membership at the Southampton Bath & Tennis Club on my behalf, so I will tackle my move to Los Angeles without much assistance. Surely sitting in a climate controlled Rolls-Royce to tour properties won't be too hard on my body. a presto! |
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If you are as rich and as important as you say you are, you would already know that the rich don't live in Los angeles county at all, Santa Barbara is where you want to be......
Just don't move on my street, we don't need anymore wannabees |
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Definitely go for Compton! I know you have heard all about Compton on the TV but that is all propaganda to keep the common people from finding out how the better half lives, and live well we do in fabulous Compton!(Rhymes with Hamptons!!) Remember that first impressions are so very important for those of us who appreciate the finer things in life so when you do feel ready to debut in sunny Compton make sure and go all out, best rolex, best suit, and at least a Jaguar for driving (Or being driven) and you can never have too much gold bling, er, I mean jewelry. Follow those simple rules and you will create Quite The Sensation.
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Compton is obviously only for the Bentley-driving, apple martini-sippin- wealthy. (But you better check your English-Goatherder-because I don't think that it rhymes with The Hamptons...Humpton or Hompton does..lol)
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And Santa Barbara? Pfft, I cannot set up permanent residence anywhere outside a 5 mile radius from the premier luxury establishments a la Rodeo Drive. Santa Barbara is basically the boonies, the fabulous boonies if I may add. |
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This thread was indeed created for trolling with the OP answering their own question immediately.
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