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Old 02-05-2010, 05:33 PM
 
Location: Lake Oswego, Manhattan, Aspen
3,135 posts, read 3,955,456 times
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There are more than 40,000 gay men in West Hollywood, alone. Most of them moved there from other places. Actually, if you remember that there are vastly fewer black men than black women, the inflation of the single male figures by gays moving to LA is more dramatic than the 40,000 figure. But they're virtually the only middle-class whites left in LA: a city that is, more and more, a place where there are only the very rich and the very poor.

I was just talking about the subject of gay meccas with my Decorator, who has never been in a relationship...ever.
"Nobody wants a queen", is what he tells me. Apparently, muscles, luxury cars, fame, and a fabulous wardrobe can't compensate for not being "a big, blond, built, butch Bubba". Not in Mississippi, anyway. But he's been stuck in the Deep South, where the pickins are slim. I hope those boys who make it to LA actually find partners. Imagine spending your entire life entirely alone!!!!
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Old 02-06-2010, 03:09 AM
 
2,179 posts, read 4,196,779 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chiaroscuro View Post
You have to think outside the box. There are quite a few decent guys and gals, but if you have an 'image' of what they should look or act like, you probably won't even notice them. It's absurd to paint millions of individuals with the same brush. If you can't seem to find anyone worthwhile, it's probably your compass that is broken, not the entire population.
Of course not most men are like that. It has just been the general experience that I and my friends have had.

I admit that I do have a list of wants (non-smoking, college educated, likes animals, and sense of humor), but assuming the guy doesn't seem too out there and at first meeting he has a good personality, I am into giving it a shot. I will say this though which gets me thrown into the "shallow" zone. Until recently I was always the type who would date a guy NEVER based on his physical looks. I have to be honest, if I am not physically attracted to someone at first, there is no chance of me "growing" to liking them. I have been out multiple times with good guys, but lookswise, they didn't do it for me. That being said I have dated guys that were sexy, but didn't offer anything else.

With geography, I have just found a correlation with my personal relationship success with men they weren't from socal.
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Old 02-06-2010, 03:14 AM
 
2,179 posts, read 4,196,779 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drshang View Post
The "playboy" types are not interested in a relationship but if you go out to a bar/club that's who you will meet. You will get some who have been sleeping around for a long time and are ready to "settle down" too, which is why it's not a waste to go after men in extroverted environments too.

Online dating, even into the late 20s-30s is still male dominated and is probably the best resource to meet dudes that you won't find at bars/clubs. .
I agree and disagree with these statements but really enjoyed your post. With the bars and clubs, you are right. I don't get why SOME women go to clubs to try to get boyfriends. Sure you might get free drinks (STUPID reason to go out!!) and a guy gets your number, but would you really want to meet someone that probably goes out drinking each week getting more numbers? I realized this early on in the game, but many haven't. I rarely go to bars but when I do, it is never with the idea of getting a date or even a free drink. Just go for fun and no hopes.

With internet dating, it has been 50/50 with the types of guys on there. 50% are the kind of guys you would find in bars or clubs. They are just trying to increase their odds of hookups. The other half usually are busy career wise, and it just seems like one stop shop to meet someone. Often times these types are sooo busy, that they don't really want a serious relationship.

I still think the best way to meet someone is in a natural relaxed setting with NO ALCOHOL INVOLVED, or through friends or family. Got set up 2x by friends though, and while they were nice, no chemistry.
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Old 02-06-2010, 03:28 AM
 
Location: Living on the Coast in Oxnard CA
15,370 posts, read 25,573,172 times
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I am still amazed at work how some women will enter a serious relationship with a coworker who has been working their way around the "office" so to speak. I work in a hospital and have seen it with many of my coworkers. Can some one answer that? If you are a woman would you date a known repeat offender in the work place that has been working their way around the water cooler? I know a couple guys that do this at work. You would think that the word would get out around the hospital. Here is the scenario: A guy befriends a girl until they are dating. He sleeps with her for a few months, the girl is in love with him and then the guy starts working on the next girl. My thought is that the other girls at work would realize that their is no future with the guy, but that doesn't happen. Just me rambling again.
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Old 02-10-2010, 11:16 PM
 
Location: Boulder Creek, CA
9,197 posts, read 13,465,010 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SOON2BNSURPRISE View Post
A guy befriends a girl until they are dating. He sleeps with her for a few months, the girl is in love with him and then the guy starts working on the next girl.
He's 'working' the room. Attempting to satisfy the challenge of bagging all the office ladies he prefers. It's behavior like this that begets sexual harassment complaints and rules on intra-office dating.
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Old 02-10-2010, 11:26 PM
 
Location: Glendale/Los Angeles
571 posts, read 1,671,870 times
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It all depends on what neighborhood of Los Angeles you are looking in as well..
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Old 02-11-2010, 08:32 PM
 
73 posts, read 175,812 times
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All I know is, I got a date with someone I just met that same day on the first day I ever spent in Los Angeles. No joke. He even said bye to be at the airport.

My theory is - you can find great guys (or great girls) anywhere if you stay there long enough. Just . . . try to stop looking!
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Old 02-16-2010, 11:25 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles, Ca
2,884 posts, read 5,038,465 times
Reputation: 2725
I think the dating scene turns very quickly for women. Faster than they realize.

This is generalizing, but their peak is 18-24. After that, it turns on a dime.

-Guys who were shy, or akward in highschool or early college have worked on their careers, or socialized more, and they have a much higher standing at 25-30 than they did from 16-24.

-The surfers/playboy types continue with that, well into their late 20's, early 30's. Or maybe forever. And the bar/club types.

And suddenly the pickings can get kind of slim. I think LA is a very fasted paced "dating" city if you can call it that. But dating in the most casual of ways. Things change very quickly here (compare LA now to 5 or 10 years ago). The attractions of the city keep things casual. Also combine the horrendous schools, long commutes, high $$ home prices...it doesnt attract many guys who want to settle down right away at 28-35. Settling down is much more complicated here vs other cities with reasonable home prices, reasonable commutes, and good schools.

I dont know, a lot of factors tilt it pretty quick. Its generalizing, but the girls in short skirts at the clubs at 21 are basically out of the game in their early 30's. The guys who wanted them at 21, still want girls at 21

-But on the plus side, I think people are very friendly here, I think its easy to meet people. Easy to meet other professionals, or career minded people. You just have to be yourself, stop looking so much.
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Old 02-17-2010, 10:38 AM
 
Location: SoCal
2,262 posts, read 6,270,142 times
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I had a GREAT time dating in LA!

A woman's dating peak is 18-24?!?! Whaaaa? I guess I had the opposite experience, as my dating peak was my early 30s (had HORRIBLE experiences daing in my early 20s and ended up getting married way too young as a result). My husband & I divorced when I was 29 when we were living in LA. I had heard all about the "horrible" dating scene in LA, and was really worried about it. Turns out, dating in LA was MILES better than dating in Boston. In Boston, it was "hey, a bunch of us are getting together... wanna hang?" That was how you'd get asked out.

In LA, it was "I'd like to take you to dinner Friday night. Are you free?"

Man, it was great. I even had a guy show up at my door with flowers on our first date! (of course, I married him, heh)

Granted, I didn't date anyone who was actually FROM LA. They were all from somewhere else (as I was).
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Old 02-17-2010, 10:50 AM
 
Location: Atlanta, GA
600 posts, read 1,374,145 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by readymade View Post
A woman's dating peak is 18-24?!?! Whaaaa? I guess I had the opposite experience, as my dating peak was my early 30s (had HORRIBLE experiences daing in my early 20s and ended up getting married way too young as a result). My husband & I divorced when I was 29 when we were living in LA. I had heard all about the "horrible" dating scene in LA, and was really worried about it. Turns out, dating in LA was MILES better than dating in Boston. In Boston, it was "hey, a bunch of us are getting together... wanna hang?" That was how you'd get asked out.

I
This gives me hope, thanks! I am 28, single and moving to LA this year. Wish me luck!

There are two things I wonder about though (when it comes to guys saying women between 28-35 have a harder time finding a guy):

1. Why do young guys (early to mid 20s) always complain about girls of the same ago being immature, but when we DO 'grow up', we're 'damaged goods'?

2. What if a woman is 28, but looks like 20? Is she still considered 'old'? What I'm saying is - is it about the looks or the age and the experience that comes with it?
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