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i think it's fine for people to vent. especially on anonymous internet forums. get it all out there and free yourself of whatever psychological/emotional/spiritual burdens you have or think you have. but at some point when it's all out of you, you need to sit down and think deeply about why you're so pissed off. You shouldn't live like this with that kind of mentality. It's only going to hurt you in the long run and wear you down emotionally. All those groups of people you dissed? Hell, they probably already forgot about you and are having a great time doing whatever it is they're doing. Unlike you, they don't have that chip on their shoulder. So why let it bother you when it probably doesn't bother them?
look, there's a lot of things that happen that shouldn't. and it drives all of us insane. but you honestly have to stop blaming it on OTHER people, events, and, yes, even the location. The city you describe could easily be another girl's experience in NYC. Or Chicago. Miami. London. Tokyo.
As a guy who recently knocked off a huge chip from his shoulder, I think it all VERY much depends on how you view yourself and the world. It's literally like the difference between looking through a fractured windowpane or a clear one: everything is colored differently depending on how YOU view the world. If you think everybody's out to get you, or that no one pays you enough respect, or that life is crap, or whatever...then nobody can convince you otherwise. and when you come onto these forums to vent, what you're really looking for are other like-minded people to vent with you...in other words, nobody to tell you the truth that you need to hear: it's all in your head. we are all our own demons.
I have this Asian male friend who grew up seeing a lot of asian women-white men pairings and believed that all asian girls go for white men and thus, he has no chance with asian girls. He harbors a resentment towards Asian girls and it shows. Big Chip on his shoulder. It keeps not just asian girls, but most girls in general away from him. Rants and vents ALL THE TIME about how asian girls are sluts and whores and only date white guys for the money. Then one day, he asked out this girl at his church, and to his surprise, she said yes. He's now the happiest guy I know, constantly in a good mood, and is quite popular with the girls he meets now. It's literally ALL IN YOUR HEAD.
I also have an attractive black female friend who's also ridiculously smart and attending grad school. She has good reasons for wanting to only date black Christian men and would like to bring one home. But all the black fellas she comes across date white women, and this depresses her all the time because she thinks her being black and smart makes her unworthy. She's still single and carries a very large chip on her shoulders. Even when black men are interested in her, she doesn't get too involved because she "knows he'll eventually walk out the door with some blond bimbo." See what I mean? Her whole body language, demeanor, attitude closes up even when everything she wants is literally sitting right in front of her. It's her view of the world that's getting in the way of her happiness, not the city or her race or her brains.
I think it's a defense-mechanism...to try to crawl back into our shell and lick our (self-perceived) wounds when the world has been mean to us by projecting onto the world how we view it...but that doesn't mean you're right. You may be TOTALLY right in your PERCEPTION about LA, about the men, the living standards, or whatever...and still be completely wrong in your JUDGMENT.
This is what your line of reasoning would look like: Premise (A) The men I come across in LA are effeminate little b*tches Premise (B) Men here seem to be MORE effeminate little b*tches than everywhere else I've been. Conclusion: There's something wrong with LA.
See, it's possible for both your premises to be dead-on...and still have your conclusion be totally off.
How about keeping the same two premises and instead concluding:
Okay, this must mean I'm hanging around the wrong social circles because not ALL men can be like this. My Premise A stated that the men I come across are effeminate little b*tches (hereafter shortened to just ELBs cuz my fingers are about to go numb from typing that **** over and over again), so I'll have to start coming across different men in different settings.
You also have a "Men in LA are ELBs --> All men are the same --> therefore ALL men everywhere are ELBs" kinda mentality. suggest you rethink your conclusion there too.
Ask yourself if this sounds like you and be honest. you don't have to reply to this or anything, just chew on it for a bit.
we search all our lives for some location or place where the grass is greener. We think it has to do with location. As if Paris is better than Milan. Or NYC > Miami. All i can tell you with absolute certainty is that there is ONE place in life where the grass is always guaranteed to be greener on the other side: your mindset when you make peace with yourself and the world. And you don't need to buy plane tickets or waste any money to get there.
ok, so i'm done now. sorry, it was really long and kind of depressing post.
but, uh, i'm gonna feel stupid if you say I've been totally off in my assessment so...
how bout them lakers, huh? kobe gonna kill it in game 3 or what?
Miss Crusoe, I appreciate your psychiatrist rant or to say precisely shrink method of persuasion of a soul that lost in the compex of its own, but dont forget there are so many facets of life of a big city that may be distubing until you will discern what is really important for you, and I mean some really top ultimate things of your life not a superficial crap like follow the trendy outfits or driving fancy cars, I love LA, I consider it the most giving and caring city, man or woman can get anything of it if he or she would have just try harder to gain it. Good luck losers and good riddance for those who are leaving, remember african people's woes and you would probably think twice before condemning your life in SoCal.
I cannot wait to leave LA. I'm a 30 year old single, professional female who made over 100K last year and I feel POOR. I'm going back to the South to invest in real estate where I can actually build wealth and plan an awesome future. I thought about staying, but every time I see these rent prices, it makes me so angry to think how these prices keep everyone so poor! I like money though... perhaps security and future-building is not a priority for most?
Angelinos pay 9.75% in sales tax BECAUSE of their immigration problems, though they'll feed you a load of their liberal hippie-we-are-all-one talk to make you believe otherwise. You think you'd be paying that much if you didn't have illegals flooding your schools and hospitals and taking other social benefits? No. This is the most poorly run city I've ever seen. Live in Paris, pay those taxes, and actually RECEIVE real social benefits and be taken care of, instead of struggling to get by.... People who accept the way this city is run are saps.
As a side note, the people here are absolutely crazy. What else besides ego draws people to a city to try and "be someone." Also, the dating scene is the WORST I've ever experienced. Men don't know how to be men at all and are completely emasculated by these uber liberal femdoms... or maybe its the fact that many cannot afford to date at all. Either way, most cannot afford to have families, so if you are into having kids, stay away from this city in terms of finding potential matches.
To anyone who is so in love with LA and wanting to move here, that was me 3 years ago. Good luck trying to be a something and a somebody until you wake up and realize that's not what life is about at all...
Agree with you on the illegals. LA is almost as bad as San Francisco.
You are in the minority. I'm born and raised in LA and from talking to natives over the years almost all of them don't know their neighbors. I'm glad to hear that you like the block you live on. Don't move because it's a rarity to find that in LA.
It's a feature of modern urban life that many people do not know their neighbors. It is debatable whether this is any worse in Los Angeles than in many other cities. If you are going to a smaller town, then people there are much more likely to know their neighbors. (By the way, is this the reason you can't wait to leave?)
I prefer my neighbors remain at arm's length. Just because we're neighbors doesn't mean we have to become ***hole buddies. I have their phone number, they have mine, we know each other by our first names and we watch each others' house when the other is out of town.
That's as far as I want to take it, and from personal experience that's not just an "L.A." thing.
I know my neighbors well and I was born in So Cal. In fact, every time I moved I got to know my new neighbors. I've lived in the City proper for almost 20 years now, and at my current residence for 13 years. NOT knowing the neighbors would be the rarity.
You are kidding yourself. I'm glad you've had a good experience, but your experience isn't what most people say. I've lived here for a LONG time and talked with many different people over the years and 9/10 people wouldn't agree with you. Many people don't speak English so they can't even talk with their neighbors. I'm not going to argue about this with you. If you are so naive that you think every area has neighborly people that's up to you.
There is a reason why Los Angeles is always ranked among the least friendliest cities in the US.
Last edited by CantWait2Leave; 06-08-2010 at 01:52 PM..
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