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Old 04-02-2009, 11:13 AM
 
Location: Wrangell, AK
292 posts, read 387,024 times
Reputation: 632

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Quote:
Originally Posted by stacieberry View Post
What we were talking about in April fools: he is nice most times but all he wants to do is work! He does not have fun at all. We had to BEG him just to go ghost hunting with us! Sometimes I think he only married me because I got pregnant.
C'mon! He might of married you cause you got pregnant (NOT) but he for DAMN sure doesn't

A) stay married to you

or

B) repeat the offense multiple times

unless there's something there in the hearts and flowers department. And, Stace, way too many fellas out there who ain't supporting their families...

Hell, I know it's tuff, I got that trophy myself, but sometimes a man doesn't see past the logical/make it work/fix it/do it/take care of it/protect it stuff. You know...the old right-brain-left-brain outlook.

Don't look a horse in the mouth unless he's got a gift for ya! As the ankle-biters get older (and the economy gets better?!?), he'll get better. Either that or you'll figure out that you don't "beg," ya "TELL."
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Old 04-02-2009, 10:39 PM
 
Location: Fordyce Arkansas
1,269 posts, read 1,488,391 times
Reputation: 1496
Hey Gypsy! How are you tonight? I am still looking for a GOOD joke for you LOL. Thanks for the post there is a lot more to the story just forgot this was public oops. LOL have a good weekend and keep posting we love hearing from Alaska. Did I tell you my husband wants to move there? No offense but I don't. WAY to COLD! That is the only reason. Have a good one.
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Old 04-02-2009, 11:59 PM
 
Location: Wrangell, AK
292 posts, read 387,024 times
Reputation: 632
Evening Miss Stacieberry.

Doing good up here. Kinda tired. We went walkabout this afternoon at a place called Petroglyph Beach...a place at the mouth of the Stikine River that has these ancient rock carvings. (They pre-date the Tlingit Indians who have been here time out of mind).

Anyhow, hon...keep your chin up. I'll DM ya my email if ya want...could talk that way....

And cold is pretty nice up here in Wrangell....I'll take 31 degrees and snow over 52 and rain ANYDAY!!!!






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Old 04-03-2009, 12:11 AM
 
Location: TENNESSEE
159 posts, read 314,061 times
Reputation: 48
Good Friday Morning to you all.. am still up, hubby will be going out about 3am for Fouchon and then back home to sit. This economy has really put a crimp in our lifestyle, just like everyone else..
Have been busy printing out applications to some trucking companies.. have to do something, because 100.00 a week isn't going to cut it.
And am just getting over some nasty bug.. egads.. had my flu shot.. LOL.. guess they just love me.
well enough of bringing everyone down . Will have to go and find some jokes to share with ya all.
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Old 04-03-2009, 12:16 AM
 
Location: TENNESSEE
159 posts, read 314,061 times
Reputation: 48




Alaskan Computer Terms

Log on: Make the wood stove hotter.
Log off: Don't add no more wood.
Monitor: Keep an eye on that wood stove.
Download: Getting the firewood off the truck.
Floppy Disk: What you get from trying to carry too much firewood.
Ram: The thing that splits the firewood.
Hard Drive: Getting home in the winter.
Prompt: "Throw another log on the fire".
Window: What to shut when it's cold outside.
Screen: What to shut during mosquito season.
Byte: What mosquitoes do.
Bit: What the mosquitoes did.
Megabyte: What BIG mosquitoes do.
Chip: Munchies when monitoring.
Microchip: What's left after you eat the chips.
Modem: What you did to the weeds.
Dot Matrix: Old Dan Matrix's wife.
Lap Top: Where kitty sleeps.
Mouse: What eats the food in your pantry.
Mainframe: What holds the house up.
Web: The things spiders make.
Web Site: The garage or attic.
Cursor: Someone who swears a lot.
Search Engine: What you do when the truck dies.
Screen Saver: A repair kit for the torn window screen.
Home Page: A map you keep in your back pocket just in case you get lost when hunting moose.
Upgrade: Driving up into Atigun Pass.
Sound Card: One of them technological birthday cards that plays music.
User: Buddy down the street who keeps coming over borrowing stuff.
Network: When you have to repair your fishing net.
Internet: Where the fish get caught.
Netscape: When a fish gets away.
On-line: When you get the laundry on the clothesline.
Off-line: When the clothespin lets go and the laundry falls on the ground.
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Old 04-03-2009, 12:17 AM
 
Location: TENNESSEE
159 posts, read 314,061 times
Reputation: 48
You know you are from Louisiana if...

* The crawdad mounds in your front yard have overtaken the grass.

* You greet people with "Howzyamomma'an'dem?" and hear back "Dey fine!"

* Every so often, you have waterfront property.

* When giving directions you use words like "uptown", "downtown", "backatown", "riverside", "lakeside", "other side of the bayou" or "other side of the levee.

* When you refer to a geographical location "way up North", you are referring to places like Shreveport, Little Rock or Memphis, "where it gets real cold"!

* Your burial plot is six feet over rather than six feet under.

* You've ever had Community Coffee.

* You can pronounce Tchoupitoulas but can't spell it. (also, Thibideaux, Opelousas, Ponchartrain, Ouachita, Atchafalaya,)

* You don't worry when you see ships riding higher in the river than the top of your house.

* You judge a po-boy by the number of napkins used.

* The waitress at your local sandwich shop tells you a fried oyster po-boy "dressed" is healthier than a Caesar salad.

* You know the definition of "dressed".

* You can eat Popeye's, Haydel's and Zapp's for lunch and wash it down with Barq's and several Abitas, without losing it all on your stoop.

* The four seasons in your year are: crawfish, shrimp, crab and King Cake.

* The smell of a crawfish boil turns you on more than HBO.

* You "wrench" your hands in the sink with an onion bar to get the crawfish smell off.

* You're not afraid when someone wants to "ax you something".

* You go by "ya-mom-en-`dems" on Good Friday for family supper.

* You don't learn until high school that Mardi Gras is not a national holiday.

* You don't realize until high school what a "county" is.

* You push little old ladies out of the way to catch Mardi Gras beads.

* You believe that purple, green and gold look good together (and you will even eat things those colors)

* You go to buy a new winter coat (what most people refer to as windbreakers) and throw your arms up in the air to make sure it allows enough room to catch Mardi Gras beads.

* Your last name isn't pronounced the way it's spelled.

* You know what a nutria rat is but you still pick it to represent your baseball team.

* You have spent a summer afternoon on the Lake Pontchartrain seawall catching blue crabs.

* You describe a color as "K&B Purple".

* You like your rice and politics dirty.

* When given the choice for Governor between a KKK leader and Edwin Edwards, it's a difficult decision.

* You worry about a deceased family member returning in spring floods.

* You pronounce the largest city in the state as "Nawlins".

* A friend gets in trouble for roaches in his car and you wonder if it was palmettos or those little ones that go after the French Fries that fell under the seat.

* You know those big roaches can fly, but you're able to sleep at night anyway.

* You prefer skiing on the bayou.

* You assume everyone has mosquito swarms in their backyard.

* You realize the rainforest is less humid than Louisiana.
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Old 04-03-2009, 12:19 AM
 
Location: TENNESSEE
159 posts, read 314,061 times
Reputation: 48
Here's a OLD one,
One night, a torrential rain soaked Southern Louisiana; the next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the homes there.

Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Mrs.Thibodeaux, waiting for help to come. Mrs. Thibodeaux noticed a baseball cap, floating near the house.

Then she saw it float far out into the front yard, then float back to the house; it kept floating away from the house, then back towards house.

Her curiosity got the best of her, so she asked Mrs. Boudreaux, "Do you see dat dere baseball cap a floatin' away from the house, den back again?"

Mrs. Boudreaux said, "Oh yeah, dass my husband; I tole dat coonass he gonna cut the grass today, come hell or high water."
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Old 04-03-2009, 12:22 AM
 
Location: TENNESSEE
159 posts, read 314,061 times
Reputation: 48
Pierre and Boudreaux was flying Cajun Airlines to da Mardi Gras. Boudreaux was flying da plane, and Pierre was in da back foolin wit da cargo equipment an stuff.

Da plane hit some turbulence an started bouncin around and Boudreaux got knocked unconscious. Den da plane start driftin. Pierre come run up to da front an Boudreaux was sprawl out all over da steerin wheel.

Well, Pierre don't know nuttin bout flyin an he start to get panaky. He grab da microphone and holla "May Day! May Day! Dis is Cajun Air Line 90210. Boudreaux, him knock unconscious an I don know nuttin about flyin dis plane!"

"Dis is da control tower," Someone answer. "Don you worry a bout nittin. We gonna splain how you to land dis plane, step by sep, ah gar-own-tee! Jus leave anyting ta us. Fus, how high yu are, an whas you position?"

Pierre thought a minute, den say, "I'm five foot ten an I'm all day wa to da front of da plane."

"No! No! No!" answer da tower. " What you altitude, an where you location?"

Pierre say, "Man, rat now ah got a po attitude, an ah'm from Thibodeaux, Laweezeeanna!"

" No! No! No!" came an exasperated voice. " Ah needs to know how many feet you got off da groun an how you plane in relation to da airport!"

Pierre, he start to panic by dis time. He say, "Countin Boudreaux's feets an mine togedder, we got fo feet off da groun an I don beleieve dis plane related to you airport!"

A long pause-----de silence was deafanin.

"We needs to know whoo you next of kin."
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Old 04-03-2009, 05:52 AM
 
Location: Fordyce Arkansas
1,269 posts, read 1,488,391 times
Reputation: 1496
Quote:
Originally Posted by Homesick4Home View Post
Good Friday Morning to you all.. am still up, hubby will be going out about 3am for Fouchon and then back home to sit. This economy has really put a crimp in our lifestyle, just like everyone else..
Have been busy printing out applications to some trucking companies.. have to do something, because 100.00 a week isn't going to cut it.
And am just getting over some nasty bug.. egads.. had my flu shot.. LOL.. guess they just love me.
well enough of bringing everyone down . Will have to go and find some jokes to share with ya all.
We know all to well bout those 100 a week checks but hubby has been running here lately! Yea so far his Biggest check has been 450 and that was last Friday. Things gotta get better cause we might Stare to death. LOL I sure miss them 1000 a week checks!
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Old 04-03-2009, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Wrangell, AK
292 posts, read 387,024 times
Reputation: 632
Good Morning Louisiana!

For the record it is 38 degrees and the sun is shining! What a day....



Giving Up Drugs
Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge.

The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I’d like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and pursued them to give up drugs forever. I’ll see you back in court Monday."

Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one,” How did you do over the weekend?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."

"17 people? That’s wonderful. What did you tell them?"

"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs."

"That’s admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?" (To the 2nd guy)

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."

"156 people! That’s amazing! How did you manage to do that!"

"Well, I used the same two circles. I pointed to the small circle and told them, `This is your ***hole before prison...`"
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