Louisville & Kentucky Friendliness (California: crime, home, neighborhood)

[tomocox]

It hurts me to read of the minority of people who find Louisville and the rest of the state as unhospitable, when the facts are just the opposite. Yes, there will be those situations where people fail to behave appropriately, but I think it is worth repeating the following little story I learned while growing up as a farm kid.

When I would walked into a field of cattle with a bucket of corn, if I ran at them, the cattle would run, but if I walked in and stood still, the cattle would come to me, and they would learn to trust that I had goodies in my bucket. The next time, I would enter the field, more cattle would come my way, and finally, all but a few would trust me.

When moving to a new neighborhood, I always carry a bucket of corn and let the locals learn to trust that my bucket has goodies for them.

Now, this is not to call my neighbors a bunch of cows or bulls full of it, but rather to illustrate how people accept new people too.

I have never met a larger group of people anywhere who are as friendly and caring as the people of the Louisville area, especially Oldham County.

[staywarm2]

Originally Posted by tomocox

When I would walked into a field of cattle with a bucket of corn, if I ran at them, the cattle would run, but if I walked in and stood still, the cattle would come to me, and they would learn to trust that I had goodies in my bucket. The next time, I would enter the field, more cattle would come my way, and finally, all but a few would trust me.

When moving to a new neighborhood, I always carry a bucket of corn and let the locals learn to trust that my bucket has goodies for them.

OK, good story, but exactly what type of "bucket of corn" does someone offer to the locals when one's a newcomer?In orther words, how do you entice people to be friendly to you when you move to a new city?

[Cattknap]

I'm not from Kentucky but I have made multiple visits and stayed for several weeks during each visit - we plan to retire to the Louisville area this year. I have always, almost without exception, found people that I meet at shops, restaurants and social groups (I belong to a group of women who meet monthly for dinner) to be extremely friendly, funny and helpful. My best friend moved to Louisville from So. California 3 years ago - she and her husband have exactly the same perception that I do regarding the friendliness of the locals.

That being said, I have to add that I am very friendly, smiling, complimentary and like to strike up conversations with people I meet - my friend is exactly the same way...every time we go shopping, out to lunch or do almost anything, we run into complete strangers that we end up having interesting conversations with. I've attended land auctions, garden tours and special events at some of the historic sites...gone to art galeries, bakeries, nice restaurants and hamburger stands, antique stores, grocery and clothes shopping, garden shows and concerts - I have had the same experience with each - I've always met the nicest people and had very positive experiences.

So, that is the perspective of an outsider, a middle aged woman from So. California who thinks KY is just a great overall place to be.

[tomocox]

I would say the best "bucket of corn" a newcomer can carry is a truly caring and loving smile.

[Elaine S.]

I'm one of the people who hasn't found people here to be any friendlier than people I've known in other cities. Yes, people smile and nod when I smile and nod at them. I've had plenty of spontaneous, interesting conversations. That's not the problem. The problem is that it never goes much beyond that. We moved here not knowing a soul. We've made a few casual friends but, frankly, the relationships are still fairly superficial. They're all very nice people but they all grew up here and have family & school friends here. They have a wealth of people to spend time with and feel obligated to do so. They have people they always Thunder with, people they watch the Derby with, people they St. James with, etc. Yes, I realize that it's just a matter of finding our niche. But we've been here just shy of two years and it's never taken this long to settle in with other cities we've lived in. Couple that with the incredibly rude drivers I've encountered and I can't say that I'm in love...

[EclecticEars]

Originally Posted by Elaine S.

I'm one of the people who hasn't found people here to be any friendlier than people I've known in other cities. Yes, people smile and nod when I smile and nod at them. I've had plenty of spontaneous, interesting conversations. That's not the problem. The problem is that it never goes much beyond that. We moved here not knowing a soul. We've made a few casual friends but, frankly, the relationships are still fairly superficial. They're all very nice people but they all grew up here and have family & school friends here. They have a wealth of people to spend time with and feel obligated to do so. They have people they always Thunder with, people they watch the Derby with, people they St. James with, etc. Yes, I realize that it's just a matter of finding our niche. But we've been here just shy of two years and it's never taken this long to settle in with other cities we've lived in. Couple that with the incredibly rude drivers I've encountered and I can't say that I'm in love...

For what I just highligted, I say thank you for proving my point. There are plenty of fine folks in Louisville, but not necessarily genuinely friendly. Polite, yes, but nothing in terms of establishing long-term connections. Kind of reminds me of what Seattle is supposedly like.

I have to disagree w/ you about the rude drivers, though; I'll be the first to admit the Louisville drivers have been pretty polite to me, all in all.

[Cattknap]

I forgot to mention that I met a very nice woman and her husband who own a home on the river in Westport - they have been out twice to California to vist and we have had socialized with them here in CA and in KY. I think we need to be sure we are making a good effort to establish close friendships and not make it the other person's responibility to do so...I don't know anyone that has too many friends - there is always room for one more.

Having lots of interests, going to church, belonging to different groups/clubs, volunteering - great places to make friends.

[staywarm2]

Originally Posted by tomocox

I would say the best "bucket of corn" a newcomer can carry is a truly caring and loving smile.

That might work in Louisville, but here in northern Atlanta strangers look at you like you're crazy if you smile or speak to them. I've had neighbors I don't know pass right next to me on the sidewalk and not answer my "hello." I'm a late middle aged woman who is friendly and outgoing. It seems to me that people everywhere are not as friendly or helpful as they used to be. Maybe it's all the crime in the U.S. now and people are more wary. Sad...

[cobolt]

Originally Posted by staywarm2

That might work in Louisville, but here in northern Atlanta strangers look at you like you're crazy if you smile or speak to them. I've had neighbors I don't know pass right next to me on the sidewalk and not answer my "hello." I'm a late middle aged woman who is friendly and outgoing. It seems to me that people everywhere are not as friendly or helpful as they used to be. Maybe it's all the crime in the U.S. now and people are more wary. Sad...

I'm seeing alot more of this too. A few months ago I was walking out of a grocery store and I said hello to a woman. She looked at me and said very loudly "I don't KNOW you!" I mean heck. I was at the store yesterday and people (here in the Pac NW) just ignore you when you excuse yourself to reach for something, stand in the middle of the aisle as if they are the only person there, totally oblivious to anyone else. It's really sad. It's gotten to the point that I don't initiate greetings because most people ignore you. I was hoping Lville isn't the same way, since I am visiting next month and hoping to relocate BECAUSE the people are so passive-agressive and clannish, introverted here.

[tomocox]

Sounds like some people need to be knocked to their knees. Maybe the only hope for them is a real connection with God and foregoing all that modern "leave me alone" attitude. The more I see people deny God and faith, the more anger I hear from those who don't accept.