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Old 09-30-2011, 10:51 AM
 
2 posts, read 4,613 times
Reputation: 15

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First off, please don't yell at me for being gay. If you don't like me without meeting me, the feeling is mutual.

I got contacted by a recruiter asking if I would be interested in moving to Maine. I don't know anything about the state but my partner would be coming with me. Are there nicer places where we would be accepted or places that you know of that just would not like us because we are a couple? We are not afraid of snow, just hostile people. Thank you for anyone who answers with useful tips.
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Old 09-30-2011, 11:25 AM
 
Location: 3.5 sq mile island ant nest next to Canada
3,015 posts, read 4,872,001 times
Reputation: 2127
First, to you "First off...." Not a real good way to start a dialog. It sounds like you have us pegged without meeting us. We're really friendly people on here and please don't presume us to be otherwise.

Second, Maine's a very large state. You can drive 8 hours north from Kittery and still not leave the state. Can you narrow the parameters down a bit? Portland area, Bangor, Augusta, Fort Kent? Plenty of good areas to choose from.
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Old 09-30-2011, 11:48 AM
 
Location: Central Maine
1,472 posts, read 2,611,107 times
Reputation: 1276
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kay19801 View Post
First off, please don't yell at me for being gay. If you don't like me without meeting me, the feeling is mutual.

I got contacted by a recruiter asking if I would be interested in moving to Maine. I don't know anything about the state but my partner would be coming with me. Are there nicer places where we would be accepted or places that you know of that just would not like us because we are a couple? We are not afraid of snow, just hostile people. Thank you for anyone who answers with useful tips.
I would avoid going anywhere. You seem to be preoccupied with how people perceive you, and I don't understand why people would care about you in the first place. If you want to come to Maine and live your life like the rest of us (we don't share our bedroom proclivities with others usually), you can live anywhere in Maine. Maine is pretty "live and let live," and "You mind your business and I'll mind mine." However, if you have a cause, STAY AWAY. You will not be happy here. Maine people will tolerate almost anything and figure it's none of their business. If you wish to force the endorsement of your lifestyle on everyone else, you are in for a hard time.
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Old 09-30-2011, 12:03 PM
 
Location: Maine
5,969 posts, read 11,134,540 times
Reputation: 5240
I think you'll be accepted here far more than wherever it is that caused your defensive posture. As long as you're polite, most people in Maine will be polite in return. This is a fairly live and let live state. Gay marriage gets a little closer to reality each day.

Do you have an area you're limited to or do you have choices? What kind of population would you enjoy? Are there things you like to do that rely on location?
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Old 09-30-2011, 12:23 PM
 
Location: Limerick Maine
53 posts, read 140,837 times
Reputation: 73
Hi Kay, I have family in the Shapleigh area that are gay and they have had ZERO issues what so ever. Now some places they have lived in the past like chicago and phoenix they have had issues there, but never in maine, my uncle was born and raised there, and his partner of 30+ years is from another state...its home for them both now and they wouldnt have it any other way. They live their lives, and let other folks live their lives...the way it should be. Hope this helps you a little...
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Old 09-30-2011, 01:05 PM
 
2 posts, read 4,613 times
Reputation: 15
Default Thank you

The guy with the "bedroom proclivities" comment is exactly what I was talking about as far as my defensiveness goes. I don't have a cause, but I do have a partner and we like to live the same as anyone else, quietly and without hassle. I am judging no one - I was approached by someone and I live on the other side of the country so I would have no basis to judge anyone.

I...well, never mind. I'll stay where I am and wish the nice people among you a very nice day and thank you for your time.
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Old 09-30-2011, 01:38 PM
 
Location: Central Maine
1,472 posts, read 2,611,107 times
Reputation: 1276
You made the right choice. We have another saying in Maine about not letting the door...

As I've posted here before, to the many many posts beginning with: I am (fill in the blank) and I want to know where in Maine is the least bigoted because I KNOW most of you are...

The answer to everyone that comes here is that if you come here and treat people how you want to be treated, you will be happy. If you come here with a cause and want to make Maine like where you came from, you will be unhappy. I wish the moderator would make something like this a sticky so we don't get 20 of these every week. Or, just search your particular thing and read the responses. Just my opinion.
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Old 09-30-2011, 03:44 PM
 
643 posts, read 1,254,348 times
Reputation: 620
Kay,

Why would you make an important life decision based on a few comments here? Don't do it. There are plenty of people who can and will help you with info. Assuming you're not making decisions based on a message board alone. On second thought, just so as not to send others away based upon the few posts above -- Southern Maine is a great area and you'll find no problems here. Portland and Ogunquit are two areas I'd recommend.
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Old 09-30-2011, 10:04 PM
 
Location: Bar Harbor, ME
1,922 posts, read 3,665,376 times
Reputation: 1287
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kay19801 View Post
First off, please don't yell at me for being gay. If you don't like me without meeting me, the feeling is mutual.

I got contacted by a recruiter asking if I would be interested in moving to Maine. I don't know anything about the state but my partner would be coming with me. Are there nicer places where we would be accepted or places that you know of that just would not like us because we are a couple? We are not afraid of snow, just hostile people. Thank you for anyone who answers with useful tips.
Maine is a very laid back place. Nobody cares much if you are gay or not. But if do things with your sexual proclivities that people would find offensive withe heterosexual couples, then you will probalby have the same problem as they would. And if you act really really affectedly gay, most people won't care but there are bigots everywhere and one of them might make a comment.

Most people would find open displays of more than a quick kiss, such as deep kissing in public or such as wandering hands to be TMI, for heteros.

Basically just act normal, and don't bring your bedroom into the public and then expect people to accept that.

You'll be fine. My experience is that Maine people are especially caring of the needs of others. In my move to Maine in 3 weeks, I had the moving guy in Southwest Harbor ask me to get back to him if I decided on someone else to move me up rather than him coming down to get me(I did), SO HE WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT ME. I had a wood dealer actually call me in PA to offer wood to me in Bar Harbor, so I would be OK to heat my house there in the winter. My broker for my house in Maine has become a close personal friend, as has the lawyer who was just there at the closing of my house. Everyone that I have met has been way nicer than anyone was when I moved into my current community 33 years ago.

In Maine, PEOPLE ACTUALLY STILL CARE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. Just be yourself, join in the caring about everyone around you, and you'll get along great.
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Old 09-30-2011, 10:22 PM
 
Location: Caribou, Me.
4,863 posts, read 3,519,770 times
Reputation: 3406
yeah, that is quite the way to start an introductory post. You'll have trouble in Maine if you keep that ATTITUDE....your sexual orientation is fine.
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