"Outsiders" in Maine? (Portland, Lewiston: houses, to buy, movies)

[mattw]

My wife and I are contemplating the move to Maine. I am in law school (trying a second career) and am doing some interviews in Portland and Lewiston-Auburn in a couple of weeks. Maine seems like the perfect place - skiing, sailing, hiking, etc. and simply beautiful. But, we talked to a friend of ours who recently moved up there, though, and she likes it (neither her nor her husband do any of the aforementioned outside activities), but feels really "put-off" by the Mainers. She feels looked down upon, both socially and professionally, by the locals because she isn't from Maine (granted, they aren't the easiest people to get along with to start - tough eggs to crack).

Is this attitude pervasive? We are from the south, don't really have southern accents, but would sound different and the idea of being judged based upon the fact we are not from Maine doesn't really sound appealing to us.

Just wanted to hear others opinions and experiences.

[Maine Writer]

As long as someone comes in from "away" with a good attitude, is friendly and doesn't try to "improve" Maine by making it like the area they just left, we welcome them with open arms.

When you're here the leaves will be changing. You'll be hooked! Good luck with your interviews!

[Elcarim]

[She feels looked down upon, both socially and professionally, by the locals because she isn't from Maine (granted, they aren't the easiest people to get along with to start - tough eggs to crack).]

This is the most important thing about what you said about your friend. In many places, I believe that being received well has everything to do with whether or not you really care to be accepted. You can go in AS an outsider based on your own self-imposed perceptions and everyone will have no choice but to treat you as you expect to be treated. We tend to attract exactly what we expect to attract.

Reminds me of the movies where the most likely suspect - the one running around acting suspiciously - isn't even the bad guy. They just make themselves appear to be based on suspicious actions. That's called a Red Herring. I would advise my friend to make sure she's not running around acting like an outsider and make an effort to become an active part of her community. I have faith in Mainers and I believe that she'll be surprised how quickly she's accepted.

Now what's really bad is being treated badly in a place you've lived all your life!

Good luck in your search!

[Mark S.]

Originally Posted by mattw

My wife and I are contemplating the move to Maine. I am in law school (trying a second career) and am doing some interviews in Portland and Lewiston-Auburn in a couple of weeks. Maine seems like the perfect place - skiing, sailing, hiking, etc. and simply beautiful. But, we talked to a friend of ours who recently moved up there, though, and she likes it (neither her nor her husband do any of the aforementioned outside activities), but feels really "put-off" by the Mainers. She feels looked down upon, both socially and professionally, by the locals because she isn't from Maine (granted, they aren't the easiest people to get along with to start - tough eggs to crack).

Is this attitude pervasive? We are from the south, don't really have southern accents, but would sound different and the idea of being judged based upon the fact we are not from Maine doesn't really sound appealing to us.

We've been here a little over a month, and I think I've run into two people who were outright unfriendly. In one case, I think it was more a matter of class than region. The lady was just a rich snob, plain and simple. Even had a poodle. I think the other lady was just a bit of a grouch and probably didn't like my long hair.

Other than that, I've found people here are super friendly. (We're in the Brunsiwck area.) As others have already said, if you come in with the attitude that you know better and look down on people, Mainers can get quickly put off by that. But if you are welcoming and friendly, so are Mainers for the most part.

[TheMaineGirl]

I grew up in a small village on the coast and my Dad will say "I don't know anyone that lives here anymore." But that's just him being stuck in his old ways. The problem in the town that I grew up in is that people came in, built these ridiculous houses making the scenery not as quaint as it always was. Plus, we had a bad experience with an "outsider" who was trying to buy my grandparents house so he could have a better view of the ocean. This guy was a jerk. I agree with the other posters. As long as you come in with an open-mind and a warm-smile, people will love you!

[deerislesmile]

Originally Posted by TheMaineGirl

I grew up in a small village on the coast and my Dad will say "I don't know anyone that lives here anymore." But that's just him being stuck in his old ways. The problem in the town that I grew up in is that people came in, built these ridiculous houses making the scenery not as quaint as it always was. Plus, we had a bad experience with an "outsider" who was trying to buy my grandparents house so he could have a better view of the ocean. This guy was a jerk. I agree with the other posters. As long as you come in with an open-mind and a warm-smile, people will love you!

I think you are every person living in a small village on the coast of Maine.

I agree, though- as long as you don't try to make "here" more like "there"... you'll probably be okay in Maine.

[DavidoftheNorth]

Originally Posted by mattw

My wife and I are contemplating the move to Maine. I am in law school (trying a second career) and am doing some interviews in Portland and Lewiston-Auburn in a couple of weeks. Maine seems like the perfect place - skiing, sailing, hiking, etc. and simply beautiful. But, we talked to a friend of ours who recently moved up there, though, and she likes it (neither her nor her husband do any of the aforementioned outside activities), but feels really "put-off" by the Mainers. She feels looked down upon, both socially and professionally, by the locals because she isn't from Maine (granted, they aren't the easiest people to get along with to start - tough eggs to crack).

Is this attitude pervasive? We are from the south, don't really have southern accents, but would sound different and the idea of being judged based upon the fact we are not from Maine doesn't really sound appealing to us.

Just wanted to hear others opinions and experiences.

As some of the others have already said, you'll be fine as long as you don't come in and try to throw your higher class status and wealth all around and try to change everything - we like Maine just the way it is, and want to stay just the way we are - po and ignorant.

[AlisonL]

You got some great advice. Just treat folks the way you want to be treated and you will be fine.

[Northern Maine Land Man]

You will only be an outsider if you want to be an outsider. Join a church, snowmobile club or some local organization and get involved. You'll be fine. Just don't run for school committee the first year.

[corgis]

Originally Posted by Northern Maine Land Man

You will only be an outsider if you want to be an outsider. Join a church, snowmobile club or some local organization and get involved. You'll be fine. Just don't run for school committee the first year.

All of you have given excellent advice. Nothing puts a Mainer off like attitude or arrogance. And wait until your second or even third year to run for any office. Volunteer at the library or at the local arts council or at the local playhouse.