so glad M I L is here (deal, distance)

[genmomto5]

Ugh! I have no idea why people offer to come help when someone has a baby when they have no idea how to be helpful. Been there. Just remember "This too shall pass".

[Zymer]

Originally Posted by moughie

ok- trying to catch on here....guess I am a little slow.....

but does XYL mean excellent young lady??

Come on guys- help me out with your secret code!

LOL, sorry, radio shorthand:

YL = Young Lady (before marriage)
XYL = eX Young Lady, as in Mrs. (after marriage)

[BacktoNE]

OMGosh, why do people show up when there's a new baby in the house?? That is the LAST time that I'd want to be invaded with relatives.

My MIL died within the first year of our marriage, and I never met her even once. I'm a lucky girl 'cuz she decided she hated me before we were even engaged!!

[Zymer]

Originally Posted by Lubec mason

Well last night MIL was to Cook for us all. When I was done cooking, She said she would help catch up with the laundry. I am almost done with that too. She is off getting lost playing lookie loo, I NEED VALIUMES. She is driving me nuts. And she is still here for 11 days. I dont think I will make it. Does Maine have nice Psyc Hospitals?

You're doing this all wrong. You aren't supposed to do any cooking. First, you look in the cabinets, fridge and freezer for about 20 to 30 min (make sure the MIL is watching, this doesn't work without an audience), letting your mouth hang open when you aren't mumbling to yourseld. Try to maintain a kind of dull and vacant look in your eyes.

After about a half hour, select some things and put them on the stove or cabinet. Then start rummaging through the pots and pans, pulling them out and putting them back. Go back and read instructions on packages, if there are any, then go back to messing with the pots and pans.

If you haven't been banished from the kitchen by now, select some pans- as far opposite as what you should be using. Try to be as clumsy as possible without looking obvious. If you can arrange to scorch or burn something, go for it, the more smoke the better. Be creative. Ask stupid questions. Look mystified at the answers and ask if she's sure that what she is telling you is right.

Laundry- find some pretense to get the MIL to see what you are doing. Put some blue things (brand new jeans) or red things (brand new long-johns) in with some white things (preferably some of hers, the frillier the better). Ask if three cups of bleach is enough.

After this you should be banished from even thinking about doing any "domestic engineering" tasks, leaving you free to work in your shop or tinker with a motor and drinking beer.

[Bydand]

Zymer, I laughed when I read you post! Wish I would have thought of that a few years back, not for the MIL, but the DW herself.

MIL's can be such a pain, but I got lucky. She is a great MIL (of course she lives 500 miles away and I see her about twice a year . )

[Zymer]

Originally Posted by Bydand

Zymer, I laughed when I read you post! Wish I would have thought of that a few years back, not for the MIL, but the DW herself.

MIL's can be such a pain, but I got lucky. She is a great MIL (of course she lives 500 miles away and I see her about twice a year . )

Hahahaha, I'm glad you enjoyed it. To tell the truth, I do most of the cooking around my house. I haven't been much for baking goodies but I make a damned good grilled fillet mignon with mashed potatoes (sage, onion and cheese) and corn in a tarragon and thyme cheese sauce. I do most of my meats on a grill, even in the dead of winter, unless I'm making stew. (My wife's uncle fancies himself a grill master, but she tells me that I do much better...and I do, if I do say so myself.)

I learned about doing laundry in the military- running around in pink underwear is not the way to gain status in the eyes of one's fellow soldiers. We both do laundry around here.

[genmomto5]

Originally Posted by Zymer

You're doing this all wrong. You aren't supposed to do any cooking. First, you look in the cabinets, fridge and freezer for about 20 to 30 min (make sure the MIL is watching, this doesn't work without an audience), letting your mouth hang open when you aren't mumbling to yourseld. Try to maintain a kind of dull and vacant look in your eyes.

After about a half hour, select some things and put them on the stove or cabinet. Then start rummaging through the pots and pans, pulling them out and putting them back. Go back and read instructions on packages, if there are any, then go back to messing with the pots and pans.

If you haven't been banished from the kitchen by now, select some pans- as far opposite as what you should be using. Try to be as clumsy as possible without looking obvious. If you can arrange to scorch or burn something, go for it, the more smoke the better. Be creative. Ask stupid questions. Look mystified at the answers and ask if she's sure that what she is telling you is right.

Laundry- find some pretense to get the MIL to see what you are doing. Put some blue things (brand new jeans) or red things (brand new long-johns) in with some white things (preferably some of hers, the frillier the better). Ask if three cups of bleach is enough.

After this you should be banished from even thinking about doing any "domestic engineering" tasks, leaving you free to work in your shop or tinker with a motor and drinking beer.

Seriously, is this a skill acquired by males early on? I swear my 13yo and 15 yo sons are aces at this. You should have seen the 45 minutes skit here after one of them stepped in dog crap today. "Clean it off!" says me. Deer caught in head lights look followed by horrified disgust. He heads toward the door of the house. "Where are you going?" Says me. "You have dog crap on your shoes!!!! Take them off before you walk anywhere, especially in to the house!" Boy walks around in circles for awhile. "Take off your shoes!!!" He sits down and takes his shoe off. With a small piece of cardboard (less than playing card size) he starts to scrape the crap off his shoe while leaning over the porch step. "Don't knock it on to the porch, put it in the bag" (bag was next to him). He said, "I didn't drop any, I have it right here" while holding up small cardboard piece piled high with a precarious tower of mess. Ugh. It kept up from here with many rounds of sullen discussion of how to clean it off including a bit where he asked if we would need to go anywhere later because he couldn't get the stuff out of the crevices so he wouldn't be able to go anywhere ( I guess he is staying home from school then). This kind of stuff happens all the time here with the boys.

[mollysmiles]

LOL....oh gen!! I can soooo relate!!!

[raygabs]

Originally Posted by Zymer

You're doing this all wrong. You aren't supposed to do any cooking. First, you look in the cabinets, fridge and freezer for about 20 to 30 min (make sure the MIL is watching, this doesn't work without an audience), letting your mouth hang open when you aren't mumbling to yourseld. Try to maintain a kind of dull and vacant look in your eyes.

After about a half hour, select some things and put them on the stove or cabinet. Then start rummaging through the pots and pans, pulling them out and putting them back. Go back and read instructions on packages, if there are any, then go back to messing with the pots and pans.

If you haven't been banished from the kitchen by now, select some pans- as far opposite as what you should be using. Try to be as clumsy as possible without looking obvious. If you can arrange to scorch or burn something, go for it, the more smoke the better. Be creative. Ask stupid questions. Look mystified at the answers and ask if she's sure that what she is telling you is right.

Laundry- find some pretense to get the MIL to see what you are doing. Put some blue things (brand new jeans) or red things (brand new long-johns) in with some white things (preferably some of hers, the frillier the better). Ask if three cups of bleach is enough.

After this you should be banished from even thinking about doing any "domestic engineering" tasks, leaving you free to work in your shop or tinker with a motor and drinking beer.

I know you think MIL would have taken over but really...from experience Z, it probably would have been the wife! Just about fed up with the kids screaming .."Mom , I'm hungry..when are we going to eat??? Mom, where are my shoes? ,Mom...? Mom..? After a while with everyone playing stupid.. you just get up! Hey , wait a minute, I see where I've been going wrong all these yrs!!!!!!!

[moughie]

Originally Posted by Zymer

You're doing this all wrong. You aren't supposed to do any cooking. First, you look in the cabinets, fridge and freezer for about 20 to 30 min (make sure the MIL is watching, this doesn't work without an audience), letting your mouth hang open when you aren't mumbling to yourseld. Try to maintain a kind of dull and vacant look in your eyes.

After about a half hour, select some things and put them on the stove or cabinet. Then start rummaging through the pots and pans, pulling them out and putting them back. Go back and read instructions on packages, if there are any, then go back to messing with the pots and pans.

If you haven't been banished from the kitchen by now, select some pans- as far opposite as what you should be using. Try to be as clumsy as possible without looking obvious. If you can arrange to scorch or burn something, go for it, the more smoke the better. Be creative. Ask stupid questions. Look mystified at the answers and ask if she's sure that what she is telling you is right.

Laundry- find some pretense to get the MIL to see what you are doing. Put some blue things (brand new jeans) or red things (brand new long-johns) in with some white things (preferably some of hers, the frillier the better). Ask if three cups of bleach is enough.

After this you should be banished from even thinking about doing any "domestic engineering" tasks, leaving you free to work in your shop or tinker with a motor and drinking beer.

Wow zymer- you continuously amaze me with your incredible understanding of the female mind! You anticipate all sorts of scenarios and reactions so accurately! Your wife must be one sharp cookie- bet she is always one step ahead of you!!