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Old 12-20-2007, 02:11 PM
 
Location: Maine
497 posts, read 999,814 times
Reputation: 177
Default A Diary of a snow shoveler

This was posted by LewLew on the Florida forums...This sounds about right in Maine...

While most of the time people are talking about some negative things in Florida, I thought I would post this for something lighter, and to help us remember what is so great about Florida! The weather! I'm not looking for an answer to anything, just want to bring some smiles to everyone out there....for those of you who did move back North...at least you might get a chuckle even if you are glad you no longer live in Florida. Enjoy!

Diary Of A Snow Shoveler


December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can
there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the
best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and
felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
This afternoon the snow plow came along and covered up the sidewalks
and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect
life.

December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely
have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says
we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to
see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice
man. I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14: Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature
dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took
my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and
sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon
and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do
quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this
way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer.
Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the
freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes
out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the
driveway putting down salt. Hurt like crazy. The wife laughed for an
hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
a nywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets
on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to
irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit
it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm
freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn
stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Blasted snowplow came
by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said
they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the
only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and
they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're
lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and
bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more
inches of the white **** fell today, and it's so cold it probably
won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to
go out to shovel and then I had to ****. By the time I got undressed,
pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire
Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he
says he's too busy. I think the a**hole is lying.

December 23: Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife
wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is
she...nuts??? Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says
she did but I think she's lying.

December 24: 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel.
Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the guy who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I 've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for the blasted snowplow.

December 25: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the @!@!& slop
tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I
hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation
and I hit him over the head with my shovel.

December 26: Still snowed in. Why did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 28: Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. She is
driving me crazy!!!

December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it
could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does
he think I am?

December 30: Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a
million dollars for the bump on his head. The wife went home to her
mother . 9" predicted.

December 31: Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8: I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they
keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

To all my Northern friends and family, since you already have snow & more on the way....I suggest that you ask for the "little white pills" long before Jan 8th.
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Old 12-20-2007, 02:15 PM
 
Location: Cape Cod, MA
406 posts, read 1,122,089 times
Reputation: 249
Whaaaaaaaaat...I love the snow!

MORE MORE MORE!!!
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Old 12-20-2007, 03:16 PM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
21,319 posts, read 26,134,564 times
Reputation: 8429
I do not love snow, I do not hate snow.

Snow is just snow.

Snow is just a part of life.

We chose to move to Maine due to the economy and rural-ness. If living here has the added beauty of snow covered landscapes, great
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Old 12-20-2007, 03:19 PM
 
Location: Cape Cod, MA
406 posts, read 1,122,089 times
Reputation: 249
it's better than mud? =)
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Old 12-20-2007, 03:49 PM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
21,319 posts, read 26,134,564 times
Reputation: 8429
Quote:
Originally Posted by CapeCodder View Post
it's better than mud? =)
LOL

Shoveling mud would be way bad!

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Old 12-20-2007, 03:51 PM
 
87 posts, read 153,903 times
Reputation: 44
I love it!!!! And that is why I want to be a SNOW BIRD!!!!
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Old 12-20-2007, 05:51 PM
 
Location: Down East Maine
222 posts, read 335,072 times
Reputation: 378
Default Snow is awesome

Snow is magical. Yes it can make the roads difficult to traverse, yes it can be a drag to shovel, and yes it is cold. But if you are prepared (woodstove, candles, food put up, and good snow boots and warm clothing) the snow can be wonderful. Hot drinks taste so much better after playing outside in the snow, waking up and all the tracks of yesterday are covered and for a short while the world is white perfection, the wonder of a snow day off, and even the amazing snow plow workers who get the roads under control within hours of a big storm! Life here in Maine in Winter is a challenge-but with preparation it can be a delight.
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Old 12-20-2007, 06:55 PM
 
Location: God's Country, Maine
2,052 posts, read 2,713,434 times
Reputation: 1269
How's that global warming working for everybody?
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Old 12-20-2007, 07:10 PM
 
Location: Maine
7,703 posts, read 7,406,341 times
Reputation: 8209
You can't see our neighbors porch any longer,.. it's been hidden by all the "global warming" the plow pushed up there. ... seriously we have a lot of snow here also.
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Old 12-20-2007, 07:16 PM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
21,319 posts, read 26,134,564 times
Reputation: 8429
We have a good two foot of Global warming around here.
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