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Old 12-28-2007, 04:54 PM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
29,723 posts, read 47,495,927 times
Reputation: 17577

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It seems to me that most folks tend to have 'boundaries', like two men may stand to speak with one another and there will be three to six feet between them. Under different situations, different folks may call for different distances. Which all makes sense and varies with each culture.

Well here is what happened to me today.

I had to go to a medical test lab this morning in Bangor for them to draw some blood. When I sat down in the waiting room, a young lady sitting next to me, immediately complemented my beard and asked if she could touch it. She appeared to be mid-20s, and later in conversation she told me about her 2 year old daughter. This lady was a fairly attractive blond, of medium build and medium height.

But just as I sat down, she wanted to touch my beard!

I don't want to offend or to not "act as a Roman when in Rome", so I did tell her that she could feel my beard. The rest of the waiting room, had mostly elderly people seated; and I saw that all of the elderly ladies were giggling, they got a good chuckle out of it. Were they laughing at me?

Did I look terrified?

Why do lady's in Maine feel comfortable approaching a strange man and asking to touch his beard?

This past summer, at the Farmer's Market, this happened to me once. A lady twenty years older than I am, came up to me and asked to touch my beard. She ran both hands through my beard in a fashion that I could only say was 'intimate'. Like a clawing motion with her fingers curled toward her face, while she rubbed [or ground] her hip into my 'loin-area'. Now that lady rather startled me, but afterward I could see perhaps a menopausal mood swing or the occasional acid flashback if it only happens once in a lifetime, at least now I have an interesting story.

But now this morning; with this 20-something girl doing this [however at least today she made no body contact], I am beginning to see a trend here.

What is up with Maine ladies?
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Old 12-28-2007, 04:59 PM
 
Location: Central Maine
121 posts, read 286,289 times
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Their hands get cold.......
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Old 12-28-2007, 05:04 PM
 
Location: Maine
7,728 posts, read 10,813,696 times
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In my family facial hair was a no-no. As a kid, the only male I knew of that had a beard was Santa. As an young adult I found a well kept moustache terribly attractive. One winter my DH grew a beard, I thought it was quite nice. I wouldn't ask to touch the beard of a man I don't know, but I can imagine what was running through the minds of the older ladies.
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Old 12-28-2007, 05:05 PM
 
Location: On the water in Maine =)
454 posts, read 780,599 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueSky Environmental View Post
Their hands get cold.......
LOL

Yea, that's it!

So Forest, when some of us ya-ya's come up to you at the farmer's market or our soon-to-be-planned "meet & greet" and stick our hands in your beard, pants or shirt pockets, well....at least you'll know why.
...Those cold hands, of course!


Don't worry....I'm sure we'll ask first
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Old 12-28-2007, 05:21 PM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
29,723 posts, read 47,495,927 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bewitched View Post
LOL

Yea, that's it!

So Forest, when some of us ya-ya's come up to you at the farmer's market or our soon-to-be-planned "meet & greet" and stick our hands in your beard, pants or shirt pockets, well....at least you'll know why.
...Those cold hands, of course!


Don't worry....I'm sure we'll ask first
Well okay then, so long as you ask first and your hands are cold.

I used to wear a dress kilt to weddings, as I do enjoy my kilt and living in Scotland was the most enjoyable community that I have ever lived in. The last wedding that I wore my kilt to was a renaissance themed wedding, I attended along with my DW and four of our children. While I was playing 'mister mom' herding along three of our foster children, I had a few experiences with ladies putting their hands on my person, in an intimate manner. They did not ask! Looking back I suppose that I should be pleased that at least none of their hands were cold. Had their hands been cold I think that my reaction might have been a bit more extreme. I have not worn my kilt since.
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Old 12-28-2007, 05:25 PM
 
Location: Maine
7,728 posts, read 10,813,696 times
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we should discuss your kilt forest. Hmmm personal bounderies,.. he he he. Try wearing your kilt to the farmer's market or the hippy fair.
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Old 12-28-2007, 05:26 PM
 
Location: Corinth, ME
2,712 posts, read 4,915,859 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by forest beekeeper View Post
It seems to me that most folks tend to have 'boundaries', like two men may stand to speak with one another and there will be three to six feet between them. Under different situations, different folks may call for different distances. Which all makes sense and varies with each culture.
not being one (yet) I am not sure, but I can say (as a woman who likes beards ... and for that matter, long hair) on men that your beard has a somewhat different character than many. Like it's owner, it is unique... longer than most I have seen and honestly less "wild" looking that the longer ones too. I do no know if it is the dark color or what... or if your beard is actually made of finer hairs... but it looks softer, too, than typical. I come from a German heritage and therefore am, by nature, less "touchy" than many, keeping the larger personal space my heritage is known for, so I would not likely ask to touch it unless I knew you well... and than I might ask your wife as well! LOL

But as for the hip grinding... well I guess it's just that "animal magnetism" ... that's what you get for hanging around with all the goats! LOL
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Old 12-28-2007, 05:40 PM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
29,723 posts, read 47,495,927 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by msina View Post
we should discuss your kilt forest. Hmmm personal bounderies,.. he he he. Try wearing your kilt to the farmer's market or the hippy fair.
A kilt is an honourable dress attire.

To wear a kilt is not crossing any inappropriate boundaries.

Having attended the MOFGA 'Common Grounds' Fair three times, I have referred to it as the 'Hippy Fair' and I seem to offend people. It seems to accurately describe the event, in my mind.

Is "Hippy Fair" an appropriate phrase?
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Old 12-28-2007, 05:49 PM
 
Location: Maine
5,054 posts, read 10,931,400 times
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I am of Cherokee Indian/Dutch/Irish descent. I'm not sure what that means for my nature other than the fact that I tend to be a lot more hot blooded and short tempered than many.

I AM touchy-feely! I can't seem to walk past anything in the store that looks soft or cozy without reaching out to feel it. DH laughs at me. Just can't help it!! (I'm not quite sure how I'll react in person to Forest's fluffy beard - I can imagine it will be very difficult NOT to touch it at least once!)

I'm also a hugger and a smoocher - but not in the "women hide your husbands" sort of way! I do touch, showing my feelings quite openly toward people. If I touch you on the arm or shoulder, or if I give you a hug, you can assume that I like you and I'm comfortable with you. I tend to be a little more physical than many people like, and I have to watch that so I don't offend people. I just show much of my emotion through my hands - I've been that way since I was little, so they tell me.

On the other hand, there are people who inexplicably make me uncomfortable. I will keep my distance from them and feel very claustrophobic if they invade my space. It feels like day and night from one person to the next at times.

Soooo, I'm not sure how I'll be received by Mainers who may be more reserved than me. Molly may have to keep a leash and muzzle on me for the first few months!
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Old 12-28-2007, 06:34 PM
 
Location: Maine
7,728 posts, read 10,813,696 times
Reputation: 8310
Quote:
Originally Posted by forest beekeeper View Post
A kilt is an honourable dress attire.

To wear a kilt is not crossing any inappropriate boundaries.

Having attended the MOFGA 'Common Grounds' Fair three times, I have referred to it as the 'Hippy Fair' and I seem to offend people. It seems to accurately describe the event, in my mind.

Is "Hippy Fair" an appropriate phrase?
a kilt is a lovely thing,.. I can imagine though, that some that do not have discretion would be prone to ask (or in some cases peek) to see what precisely you do have beneath. Where a crowd is gathered in a jovial mood,.. the chances would increase I would think.
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