Jokes! (real estate, coupon, taxes)

[Elcarim]

Originally Posted by Zymer

Ooh, competition! I like to think I make a fairly decent chili.

Forest, there *is* a good Mex joint in Maine- it's on Rt. 1, I forget exactly where. Not to worry, I'll go find it again.

Do tell! I will NEED a good Mexican food source when we move. I was raised on the stuff and can't imagine living the rest of days without!! Kinda like..........ok, we won't go there.

I plan to return to Texas as seldom as possible, so I'm sure I'll be having withdrawals soon!

[forest beekeeper]

Originally Posted by Zymer

Ooh, competition! I like to think I make a fairly decent chili.

Forest, there *is* a good Mex joint in Maine- it's on Rt. 1, I forget exactly where. Not to worry, I'll go find it again.

Brightly painted, on the ocean side of the road, on a slight curve in the road, near a small sailboatyard?

I remember driving by that when I was dealing with a realtor in Belfast and driving all over the area looking at land.

I never did stop in the taste their food.

[Zymer]

Originally Posted by forest beekeeper

Brightly painted, on the ocean side of the road, on a slight curve in the road, near a small sailboatyard?

I remember driving by that when I was dealing with a realtor in Belfast and driving all over the area looking at land.

I never did stop in the taste their food.

It's a big log building. The Mex joint is on the left and there is an oil co on the right (in the same bldng). Traveling southbound on 1 it's on the right. I don't remember what town it was in, could be anywhere from Bath to Ellsworth. I'm thinking it's closer to Bath but I wasn't really paying attention to where I was. All I remember is that the food was pretty good. I think the guy that runs it is from Honduras or Guatemala.

[forest beekeeper]

I do not recall seeing it.

[LAPalms]

This guy goes to his psycholigist and says, "I'm a tee pee, I'm a wig wam, I'm a tee pee, I'm a wig wam, I'm a tee pee, I'm a wig wam" and the doctor says "hold it, I know what's wrong, you're too tense!".

[AliceT]

Although this is probably a nationwide appeal, it was sent to me by a cousin who lives in Maine - that makes it a Maine joke, right? Just checking....

We always hear"the rules" From the female side. Well, at last, here are the rules according to MEN. They are all #1 intentionally.

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and Noare perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months agois inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we saidcan be interpreted two waysand one of the waysmakes you sad or angry,we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already knowbest how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbusdid NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors,like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit,not A color.Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a questionyou don't want an answer to,Expect an answer
you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutelyanything you wearis fine... Really .

1. Don't ask uswhat we're thinking aboutunless you are prepared
to discuss such topicsas baseball or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you knowmen really don't mind that?It's like camping.

[msina]

That was cute! Thank you

[Zymer]

1 more thing on asking for what you want- don't ask us if *we* want it. Unless it's a restaurant and we're hungry, we probably don't.

"Do you want to stop in that fabric shop?"

"No."

Ten minutes later...

"I really wanted to stop in that fabric shop."

"Then you should have said you wanted to, instead of asking me if *I* wanted to."

[Eastport4me]

Maine Obituary
Mrs. Pete Monaghan came into the newsroom to pay for her husband's obituary. She was told by the kindly newsman that it was a dollar a word and he remembered Pete and wasn't it too bad about him passing away.
She thanked him for his kind words and bemoaned the fact that she only had two dollars. But she wrote out the obituary, "Pete died."
The newsman said he thought old Pete deserved more and he'd give her three more words at no charge.
Mrs. Pete Monaghan thanked him and rewrote the obituary: "Pete died. Boat for sale"

[msina]