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Old 04-02-2008, 10:52 AM
 
Location: Maine
7,703 posts, read 7,406,341 times
Reputation: 8209
Excellant post CreditWitch
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Old 04-02-2008, 11:01 AM
 
11 posts, read 41,588 times
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You are "from away"... how long will you maintain that status... well as a 5th generation Mainer once explained it to me... "If a cat crawls into an oven and gives birth, you don't call them bicuits" If you are looking for a place where everyone accepts you as one of them you moved to the wrong state--- maybe your children's children!
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Old 04-02-2008, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
21,320 posts, read 26,134,564 times
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txmom -
Quote:
So true. I took my 7-year-old to a birthday party here in Old Town, and we were all wondering why one of the fathers had a "1" on his license place. Turns out he is the Secretary of State, though he never mentioned a word about that at the party.
LOL

Did you expect him to wear a sign:
"I am Mister Secretary of State for the state of Maine"?





Quote:
... We live in a trailer park, and there a lot of different people here, from retired people living on fixed incomes, to a few families raising kids. There are also a couple of Ph.D's, and a sprinkling of millionaires in this trailer park. You'd never know it. That's Maine.
About five properties North of me, is a couple, he is a Marine Biologist Professor at Orono, and she is an Entomologist.

She says that I am the only person who thinks that Entomology is 'cool'!

We have had great conversations about mosquitoes and black fly. I love having such neighbors!

And they buy my eggs!

You never know who the guy might be that stops to help you yank your car out from a snow bank.



Quote:
... Sorry for my grouch attack last night; ... I like it here in Maine ... it's magical, and I really like listening to the people talk because they always have something interesting to say.
You a grouch? no. Too pretty to be a grouch.

You [TxMom] are the magic of Maine.
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Old 04-02-2008, 11:22 AM
 
Location: South Portland, Maine
2,336 posts, read 3,279,492 times
Reputation: 1456
Quote:
Originally Posted by Smily Gladshanks View Post
There are some good posts from people here--honest advice. Only one was akin to "you are bringing your superficiality here. We are MAINE, and you must pay your dues. No one else in the world is real, good or honest." I also live in a "real" place in this country--in another (northeastern--shouldn't really have to say that, but...)state where getting by is gettting along--and can honestly comment that to other "real" people like myself, that kind of native superiority is a turn-off.

It reminds me of the time the guy in Vermont rolled his eyes when I said, "lots of snow in that parking lot." His comment: "This is the northeast. It's not like OTHER places." ...yeah, thanks guy...I'm also from the northeast, know what snow and ice is, and that's STILL a lot of snow in that parking lot you self-loving, arrogant p***k.

So for what it's worth, some of the comments are turning me off to Maine. But then some of you give good and honest advice, and I figure that means there are probably plenty of good, real people in Maine afterall.
Exactley!!!!!!!!!!!! it is this ignorant belief that somehow Maine has a special lock on what is "right" and how things are "supposed" to be done, That turns me off and is a real embedded personality trait in the state as a whole.

But true ignorance is bliss, and there will be those who do not care because they really don't know any better.

Though there are many good people here, so I would never want to brush an entire population with one stroke, but this is a real experience for people that come here from away.

Why the heck would I want to move my family to any place, and possibly invest my life savings, where I have to "pay my dues" in order to have friends. especially when there are many other options.
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Old 04-02-2008, 12:12 PM
 
Location: Mid-coast Maine
14 posts, read 23,437 times
Reputation: 23
My family and I moved here 8 years ago. Having children in school and having jobs is the main way that we have gotten to know people. We researched and had a pretty good idea of how many Mainer's feel about people "from away", so we didn't come here to have a social life. We came here to have a healthy environment for our family life. Over time we have come to know people who are "like" us, in that they have similar values; some are Mainer's born & bred, some are recently from away, and some have been here long enough to be considered Mainer's (in my book), but still aren't. It's aggravating and charming at the same time! Maine is a very interesting place.
My only advice is to practice patience and be willing to make the first move. We found that if we go out of our way to speak to someone or offer assistance, that 99.9% of the time that person will be friendly and open to us. But if you wait for them.... well you'll be waiting awhile. It isn't rudeness, I think it is just "Yankee Reserve". The only thing that gets to me is that hardly anyone ever smiles. We're a smiley family and we smile at strangers on the street, in the grocery store, etc. We found that if you follow that smile with a nod and a "good morning" or "hello" that you usually get a favorable response back.
The pros outweigh the cons living in Maine, but it is a culture shock, wherever you are from.
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Old 04-02-2008, 12:17 PM
 
Location: Chaos Central
1,123 posts, read 2,521,223 times
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The only way to truly appreciate where you are, is to go somewhere worse for awhile. It'll brighten your whole outlook
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Old 04-02-2008, 12:25 PM
 
8,748 posts, read 10,930,231 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flycessna View Post
Exactley!!!!!!!!!!!! it is this ignorant belief that somehow Maine has a special lock on what is "right" and how things are "supposed" to be done, That turns me off and is a real embedded personality trait in the state as a whole.

But true ignorance is bliss, and there will be those who do not care because they really don't know any better.

Though there are many good people here, so I would never want to brush an entire population with one stroke, but this is a real experience for people that come here from away.

Why the heck would I want to move my family to any place, and possibly invest my life savings, where I have to "pay my dues" in order to have friends. especially when there are many other options.
Problem is we DO know better and that's EXACTLY why natives avoid people with your mindset in the first place. There are lots of other places to live where you may find the natives more accepting of you.
From your experiences here you undoubtedly know by now you're fighting an uphill battle trying to endear yourself to people who are wary of strangers, slow to change, and as Credit Witch mentioned maybe just too darned busy to "play ". Instead of trying to change life long traditions and ways of life you don't agree with you are free to go anywhere you think things will be better. If you find a place among the superficial and that pleases you, that's good. If you stick it out here,and are a good neighhbor and friend instead of a complainer, the rewards of REAL friendship will eventually come your way. With an attitude that all Mainers have a hair across their rear end you'd be lucky if they called the fire department if your house was burning down.
How will you know when you're being accepted? Your neighbor will stop when passing you and roll down his window to shoot the breeze, you'll find a couple of bottles of homemade maple syrup, vegetables,moose meat, or a strawberry rhubarb pie on your door step, you may be asked if you could use some tickets or coupons that a neighbor or store owner has, you might be asked to join the fire department or rescue squad,the town plow truck will pull you out of a snowbank or lift the plow at the end of your driveway,a neighbor will come turn over your flower garden and turn down your offer to pay him, neighbors will call the police when they see something weird going on at your place,neighbors will offer to watch your house,feed the dog and get your mail when you go away for a few days, if you're really accepted they may give you a key to their house for emergencies (assuming their house locks).These things will be a long time in coming ,though well worth the wait. They're much more meaningful than an invitatation to bring a salad to a block party.
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Old 04-02-2008, 12:48 PM
 
Location: Atlanta
282 posts, read 688,151 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maineah View Post
Problem is we DO know better and that's EXACTLY why natives avoid people with your mindset in the first place. There are lots of other places to live where you may find the natives more accepting of you.
From your experiences here you undoubtedly know by now you're fighting an uphill battle trying to endear yourself to people who are wary of strangers, slow to change, and as Credit Witch mentioned maybe just too darned busy to "play ". Instead of trying to change life long traditions and ways of life you don't agree with you are free to go anywhere you think things will be better. If you find a place among the superficial and that pleases you, that's good. ...... party.

Well said. Years ago my grandmother was asked to describe her homestate. She said Maine people are aloof but once you break 'em in you have a friend for life. Maine is its own culture. Heck it even has a Volvo line! It is its own culture and times its own way of doing things. Is it better? Is it worse? It does not matter. It just how it is. This Mainer says if it aint broke dont fix it.

Living in Atlanta I think I am qualified to say I live in a place where I am a Yankee and even though my kids were born here, dems Yanks too. There is a bit more acceptance of people who moved here as this is a very transient place. Maine is not transient.

Peeps who live in Maine have a living because them and their generations busted tail to have something to pass down...ie a business or even an inheritance, other scrape by but would never leave as the hunting sucks in Atlanta (my brother), the young leave by the droves to strike an easier fortune and eventually come home when they do get loaded. Maine is not a career or location hub.

What does this result in? People used to the way it has been for generations and we just dont care to rock the boat.

Is it elietest? Sure! That is common socialology. Why do i say that? Maine is home. Maine is the best place in the world and nothing can change that opinion.

We have also been raised to see people not from Maine as "from away" or flatlanders". Heck i remember as a kid giving really bad direction to a Candian couple trying to get to the Bangor Mall. "Ya cahnt get there from here Bucky."

Words of wisdom, give it time. For those of you who dont like my way of thinking as many of my family does in Maine, to bad. YOU break your back racking blueberries and picking potatoes until your knuckles bled, cause that is what you did on school break. Do I feel supieror due to Maine upbringing? Yes cause I can work anyone under the table and I can survive anything. Is there other places in the US simular as you claim? Sure....it aint Maine therefore, I dont care.

My humble opinion.
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Old 04-02-2008, 12:51 PM
 
441 posts, read 563,246 times
Reputation: 639
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maineah View Post
How will you know when you're being accepted? Your neighbor will stop when passing you and roll down his window to shoot the breeze, you'll find a couple of bottles of homemade maple syrup, vegetables,moose meat, or a strawberry rhubarb pie on your door step, you may be asked if you could use some tickets or coupons that a neighbor or store owner has, you might be asked to join the fire department or rescue squad,the town plow truck will pull you out of a snowbank or lift the plow at the end of your driveway,a neighbor will come turn over your flower garden and turn down your offer to pay him, neighbors will call the police when they see something weird going on at your place,neighbors will offer to watch your house,feed the dog and get your mail when you go away for a few days, if you're really accepted they may give you a key to their house for emergencies (assuming their house locks).These things will be a long time in coming ,though well worth the wait. They're much more meaningful than an invitatation to bring a salad to a block party.
I hear from a reliable source that many of these things also happen in Saskatchewan (except you can substitute deer meat for moose meat). They even have massive accumulations of snow there. Native Saskatchewanites are known, however, for throwing parties involving the bringing of salad (especially seven-layer salad). Must be that Scandinavian influence. There are a lot of people of Ukrainian descent there, so sometimes perogies and cabbage rolls are involved in these frivolous get-togethers. Then you have the people of Scottish descent (like my Dad), who bring most of the alcohol.
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Old 04-02-2008, 01:08 PM
 
Location: Northern Maine
5,990 posts, read 7,380,891 times
Reputation: 3882
Mainah nailed it.
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