Maine Adoptive Birth Certificates to be Unsealed (Hope: lawyer, closing)
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Finally! Adoptees have the opportunity to access their medical history. This is a huge step in the right direction for our state! I didn't learn about this until last night, while on the phone with an old friend of mine. I have struggled in the past with the issue of whether to search or not to search. All I've ever wanted was/is medical history--preferrably up to date! But my concern has always been "what if this person wants to talk to me? I don't know if I want to".... Now, at least if I decide to pursue the medical history I will have a starting point!
That is great news, Molly! I know that there are people who have been working very hard to get birth records unsealed, but only a handful of states have actually passed laws that allow unrestricted access to records. Wonderful!
I'm glad it will finally happen, although it is too late for my brother. If he'd known his medical history earlier, it might have saved his life. Hopefully this will help other adopted "kids" and maybe even save a few lives.
I'm glad it will finally happen, although it is too late for my brother. If he'd known his medical history earlier, it might have saved his life. Hopefully this will help other adopted "kids" and maybe even save a few lives.
I'm so sorry to hear that So many times having a starting point that stems from the medical history makes an incredible difference. I really think it will help many. For me, not having a medical history has been a struggle more than a few times in my 42 years. When I was 5 I became very ill, and I almost died. My parents petitioned the court to open my records to access medical information, and the court denied the petition. Even with affidavits from physicians, the court's hands were tied. Then, with each pregnancy, there was a huge question mark looming over my head. Recently, in September, I had a lymphoma scare. Having a medical history would have made an enormous difference in my medical care and treatment throughout my life, and I'm sure that's the case for many, many of us.
Finally! Adoptees have the opportunity to access their medical history. This is a huge step in the right direction for our state! I didn't learn about this until last night, while on the phone with an old friend of mine. I have struggled in the past with the issue of whether to search or not to search. All I've ever wanted was/is medical history--preferrably up to date! But my concern has always been "what if this person wants to talk to me? I don't know if I want to".... Now, at least if I decide to pursue the medical history I will have a starting point!
Hey molly, I know how you feel I've gone back and forth on this, My wife wants me to look and 99 times out of a 100 I don't, When It was just me medical history did not mean squat to me, but now that I have kids it does, I want them to know what they are at risk for, Dont care about my self but I do for my kids. It's hard, I didnt even want to read this thread because it was about adoption.
I know. And I know exactly what you mean. I've pretty much decided that I'll get the records--I'm not sure if I'll do it myself, or get a lawyer to do it. Then, either the lawyer, or someone else can make contact for the medical history. When I was growing up my parents always said to me, "if you decide to search, we'll understand, and we'll help you". But, I've not felt that pull to search, or especially to meet. All I want is the information. I wondered if after I lost both my parents if I'd change my mind... and I really don't think I have.
The interesting thing is the more people I know who are adopted and the more I read I realize that NOT wanting to search or meet is the norm. Most want information if anything at all, and that's all, no contact. I think the myth is perpetuated by people who don't understand because they weren't adopted. Even my mom said to me "I don't understand why you don't want to search, if it were me I'd want to know".
I have an adopted sister. She was adopted from a family my parents actually knew, whose teenage daugter was pregnant at 15 for the 2nd time. When Steph was 12, she started throwing fits to know about her birth mother. My mom, a single parent by that time, thought she was doing the right thing getting them in contact, since she already felt we were lacking not having an actively involved father anymore.
After years of being involved with her birth family, she now wishes she'd never known her mother. They have an awful relationship. The woman has a lot of problems and has been a heavy drug user for years. At this time in their relationship, Stephanie would tell you it's best to let some sleeping dogs lie.
Using a mediator to get vital information to keep on hand for emergencies is a good idea. Tracking them down for a reunion is a very personal choice.
I think it has got to be nice to know that at least now, you have an option. That's great news for a lot of people. Whether it's opening a new chapter or closing an old book, the choice is now yours. Excellent.
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