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I am really disappointed....and I feel really bad to be putting this thread on this forum, but it is bothering me. We had 2 big snows, and my boyfriend is in his mid 70's and I am in my mid 50's. I was telling my boyfriend when we got the snowblower we should offer to snowblow the neighbor's drive as well as ours. Well the first snow our snowblower was not delivered and we noticed the neighbor had his driveway all cleared off... Well he has a big truck with a plow and he saw my boyfriend out trying to clear a huge snow mound where the plow came thru. never offered to help.. I don't know I feel really sad,, we are not looking for a handout, just some compassion in a new town....Gussie
geez Gussie! I think that's horrible! Did they come over and say hi when you moved in? The guy that plows our driveway came by again yesterday afternoon to kind of clean things up and get the snow that he couldn't get at 5:30am.... the guy down and across the street was back out with his snowblower again, for the second time Michael said. Michael had come in after moving the Jeeps and said he was going over there after he got his warmer gloves. He's an older man, in his 60s I think, and the parking is for a four unit building in an old historic house. Parking is tight, and he was really trying to get the area clean, but there was so much snow. Our plow guy took an extra five minutes and dropped the plow to clean that up. It only took a few minutes for him to do that, and I'm sure it made that man's day. If they didn't come over and say hello when you moved in, and haven't waved or anything when they see you, they may have decided that they don't want to be neighborly. It's also possible that they're not all that nice to begin with, and based on this I'd be thinking in that direction! I'm sorry that this happened, it was a big storm, and should be a time when people help others. I know some people say, "oh, it's a liability" or "oh, they'll expect it every storm".... those types of people would find *any* excuse *not* to help someone--so stay away from them!
Plowing can be a hot button issue. My dad plowed snow for a living and still plows 5 driveways at age 79. Believe it or not he's had complaints for being a good guy. And, if you have to plow before the ground freezes people complain that you tore up their lawn. They complain where you put the snow. They complain if you plowed them when they didn't think they needed it. And then they don't pay their bill sometimes until the first storm of the next season.
And there are roads like the one I live on that has no road association. We pay $30 a storm for our part of the road and our own driveway - cheap. Five refuse to pay anything saying they can get out without it. It was most amusing yesterday to drive out and see 5 feet of plowed snow blocking the driveways of the non payers. Take that! I said silently to myself.
So, while I agree that this seems harsh and unreasonable maybe the guy had an unpleasant experience along the way and is leery of helping out someone that might not appreciate it
Location: Not the end of the earth but, you can see it from here!
31 posts, read 59,918 times
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Don't despair, dear Gussie. I don't think people are intentionally cold - just so wrapped up in their own "stuff" that they can't see beyond the noses on their faces. Additionally, as American girl says, plowing someone else turf really can be an issue - easily overcome by a knock on the door, but nevertheless and issue.
Well, now Gussie, I don't know. Seems to me you are new in the town, is this right? And you landed in the town before it started to snow, right? So the logical thing to do, it would seem to me, would be to learn something about the territory, and one way to do that might have been to introduce yourselves to the next door neighbor, BEFORE the snow fell. The conversation might have gone like this: "Hi, we're just moving in, and we wanted to introduce ourselves. We would also like to ask for a little information. We are wondering how you clear your driveway of snow?" And the neighbor might have said: "Well, I have a truck and plow and I plow my yard and a few others. I get "X" dollars per storm, and I'll be glad to do yours too, if you like." Or there might have been a different answer. I think as newcomers perhaps you should have made in inquiry and asked for advice before the first major storm. You would have been better prepared.
And also, I suppose the guy with the plow might have been approached, and asked if he would plow for you since your snowblower had not arrived yet....that works too, and then you would know what if anything he would have charged to put the plow down on yoru property.
Plowing IS a sensitive issue. Some people depend on the money to feed their families, some just plow themselves and one or two others for the gas money. But the fact remains that the truck is expensive to buy, insure and maintain, and the plow is expensive to buy and maintain also. Expecting someone to volunteer his equipment and time might be asking a lot, and the lack of volunterism on the neighbor's part might not be "coldness" at all, but merely his respecting your right to privacy.
Frankly, had you been asked for some help yesterday, I think the help would have been cheerfully given and had you offered to pay, the neighbor might well have said that he was just being neighborly.
just a quick follow up to the point AG made about no road association and the plowing nightmares and regular maintenance issues that can ensue as a result. with a partner or two i develop small, casual coastal subdivisions (11, 9, 6, 4 lots each, etc), in hancock county.
having seen the hard feelings that develop after the fact on these issues where no agreement exists, we made up our mind to ALWAYS insist upon membership in a road association (drawn up by us to be proportionally fair) and the membership dues for each lot are collected at closing and the association bylaws are recorded in the hancock county registry of deeds along with the deed for each lot.
communication is the real issue here..........my DH will willing help anyone in need but if it's a man he will wait for a very clear signal that the man wants his help. You see, my DH feels that a man might feel that my husband thinks he can't handle the problem. My neighbor next door has his car completely stuck in the mud right now, all hubby has to do is hook it up to the Suburban and yank it out, no problem, will take all of 5 minutes. BUT he has not been asked and he feels he might insult our neighbor by taking over. I'm not saying this is good, it just is what it is. So after 20 or so years of this I've learned to quietly intervene, by saying things like " hey, hubby can help you out with that when he gets home, just ask him when you see him" (Don't judge me!!!!!!!!)
just a quick follow up to the point AG made about no road association and the plowing nightmares and regular maintenance issues that can ensue as a result. with a partner or two i develop small, casual coastal subdivisions (11, 9, 6, 4 lots each, etc), in hancock county.
having seen the hard feelings that develop after the fact on these issues where no agreement exists, we made up our mind to ALWAYS insist upon membership in a road association (drawn up by us to be proportionally fair) and the membership dues for each lot are collected at closing and the association bylaws are recorded in the hancock county registry of deeds along with the deed for each lot.
so simple and appreciated by all.
Applause. Good for you. This is the way it should be done.
Neighbors might be wrapped up in thier own issues, especially this time of year. Personally, for me, the holiday season gets more depressing and stressful every year. That makes it harder for me to give to others when I already feel tapped out by friends and family.
Also, as someone said, the snowplowing/snow shoveling issue is always a complicated one. It's taken us most of the 18 years that we lived on this private road to get neighbors, who have come to depend on our plowing, to assist with even a fraction of the expenses. Our plow truck has since died due to age and wear without a replacement. the neighbor we thought would be picking up the ball is apparently going to be indisposed frequently while we're expected to plow with his truck.
Life and relationships are always complicated by expectations. I prefer to be vocal and diplomatically to the point with people while my DH tends to use an honor system that not many understand. Life is odd.
I know I rely on the one in need, to make their needs known. I have in the past, and continue to, stop if I see an older person out shoveling the end of their driveway. I don't charge them, since it was my choice to stop. Usually I just hit the end of the driveway, unless they ask or agree to more.
I've been plowing since I was 13, and I've seen many different approaches to the plowing issue. (taught by my dad who is 80 and continues to plow)
When it comes to dealing with men, it seems the best approach is say hello, with a "If you ever need a hand let me know" thrown in for good measure, then wait until asked.
With the women I meet, it usually goes like this.... "would you like me to plow the end of your driveway, and clear away what the plow left?" (at which time I either say 'No charge, or I'll clear it down close to tar for $5") then I am usually asked "How much for the whole driveway?"
I don't know how it works up in ME, but the universal sign for needing a plow is a ....WAVE . Now I have had people NOT wave, and flip me off for not stopping. WHAT???
Personally I have mostly friends who I plow for, each one I trade with, one does my nails, another brings my dad food after every plow, etc....
I have a friend I have known for 35+ years she has MS, I'll plow for her anytime her husband asks. My neighbor out back lost her husband about 4 years ago, she has never driven (no license), we regularly plow, shovel, take shopping, clean gutters, fix steps, take out recycles, etc... (no charge, I was raised better than that!)
NOW I have this other neighbor, he lives right next door, he has a snow blower. He will dress up like the *freaking* Gordon's fisherman and go out with that thing, on the nastiest day, before he asks for my help. I had offered my services anytime, right after I did so..... he will not wave to us in the back yard when we are both out mowing, he will not acknowledge us at all. I send my 14 y.o. out to help him with raking his roof, shoveling etc... (He accepts his help, and is friendly with my son.) We have tried to be friendly, but no go. His wife even slammed her breaks on in front of me on a snowy day (RT 1). (I chalked it up to her NOT knowing who I was, at the time.)
GUSSIE; If you offer to pay your neighbor for his plowing services, it will go over much better than expecting something for free. He may say he is concerned with tearing up your gravel, grass, patio, etc... If you really just want the snow moved, than tell him just make one pass right up the middle, and you are not worried about the lawn. You could also ask, if he knows any kids who shovel, in the neighbor hood. At least let them know you are willing to pay, and aren't expecting anything for free. You will probably be pleasantly surprised.
I think ME has a more independent mind set, if you need help then you are expected to ASK for the help. Otherwise they assume you know what you are doing, and it isn't their place to get in your business.
I have no idea what they charge in ME for that kind of thing. Down here I get $45. for a standard one car driveway, $60 for a two car driveway, and that is per plow. (I plow every 6" -8") Now the customer can ask that I only come once, but it will be at the 8", NOT the end of the storm. (I won't wreck my set up trying to move too much snow, because someone is not willing to pay.) :-(
Like I said that's what I get here.
I'm not there, so I don't know what they charge!! We usually don't get too much snow, here.
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