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The complaints you see often happen because:
Someone moves here and doesn't even really try to fit in, and starts to act like a bit of jerk (some folks in New Jersey, New York, etc. have a particular personality type that can be viewed as rude, arrogant, pushy, etc. to people who are not from those states. Unfortunately, some of them move here, and then don't realize they are no longer in their old state, where such personalities were the norm. Now they are in a place where the personality type is the EXACT OPPOSITE!) So then the locals shun them a bit (we will try once or twice to talk some sense into someone, but we will NOT prostrate ourselves or knock ourselves out trying to get someone to "see the light"). So THEN the person from away gets offended and starts acting like an even bigger jerk, rather than "reforming" (lol). This just isn't good. Lol. Soon they get a bad reputation. We are a live and let live kind of state, and it is hard to get a bad reputation. But if you DO get one, forget it. You might as well go back to New York. Some do just that, and then spend years complaining about the "unwelcoming Mainers". We've all seen it, haven't we board??
Yes! I can attest to that! Especially around here. The nice home across the street from us has been sold five times in the last 20 years. Main complaint is it's too far away from other neighbors. Heck that's why we like it so much but out of staters can't get used to not having someone else 20 feet away. We live on a dark ,dead end road with no street lights. That freaked out everyone who lived there. They fill the house with sensors and lights hoping to keep away the animals they perceive are stalking them and their little rat dogs. The people who moved away a year or so ago left EVERY light in the house on all night long every night! Their electric bill must have been a grand a month. The woman just could not stand the dark. She'd call the neighbor behind them if a deer walked through the yard. They moved to another town where houses are much closer together and there are more citified neighbors.
Yes! I can attest to that! Especially around here. The nice home across the street from us has been sold five times in the last 20 years. Main complaint is it's too far away from other neighbors. Heck that's why we like it so much but out of staters can't get used to not having someone else 20 feet away. We live on a dark ,dead end road with no street lights. That freaked out everyone who lived there. They fill the house with sensors and lights hoping to keep away the animals they perceive are stalking them and their little rat dogs. The people who moved away a year or so ago left EVERY light in the house on all night long every night! Their electric bill must have been a grand a month. The woman just could not stand the dark. She'd call the neighbor behind them if a deer walked through the yard. They moved to another town where houses are much closer together and there are more citified neighbors.
Location: 3.5 sq mile island ant nest next to Canada
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I always read about Mainers being unwelcoming and how we are really just carefull of folks we don't know. I grew up in this town; 2nd generation. At 19 I went into the service and moved back after 21 years away (except for leave). I was at a zoning board meeting after moving home; had actually been back about a year working for the city. This guy going for a variance kept looking at me. I recognized him but not vice versa. When the meeting started he ask the board chair if we might all introduce ourselves. Then he looked right at me. So I said my name and when he cocked his head a bit I told him who my parents were. This look of relief came over his face and he let the meeting go on. He just didn't know me.
The moral to teh story is it just ain't folks from away that get looked at funny.
If you think Long Island weather is similar to Maine in the winter you may be in for a surprise. We are very much colder. Towns I would suggest if you want to be near the coast are Bath, Camden, Belfast. I agree with the poster that suggested you come and visit between now and the end of March. Don't worry about being "accepted" we are pretty friendly here.
Thanks for all the great examples and background stories. It helps me understand the type of people that dont enjoy living there, and Im not like any of thatT.
Nothing said really turns me off. I got a great visual when you mentioned the paranoid neighbor sleeping with all the lights on and panicking about passing deer. LOL! That is definitely not like me. I prefer to have a little more space and no streetlights just means brighter stars. There is so much light pollution in Phoenix, stars are drowned out and the night sky actually has a constant orange glow on the horizon from all the lighting.
What exactly though is the main concern to warrant this type of behavior? Im sure its not deer they were worried about, should a person be concerned about grizzly bears or something more ferocious?
To address some other replies:
Forest: I completely agree, you will have to make your own social life happen. I moreso wondered if it was hard to do so even if you try due to being "from away" I will consider that question beaten to death at this point. The answer sounds to be "NO" with the only exception that naturally at first people will be curious as to who I am and what my intentions and or expectations are. They may worry that I am going to be a rude, self important "New Yorker" or other such type, but after awhile if I dont rock the boat, the curiosity will fade and Im just another resident. Does this sound accurate?
Woolwitch: I dont find your post negative at all, just realistic and I appreciate it. Its some really good info to know. What cities would attend Lisbon high school, or what other areas are likely to have the overcrowding, disrepaired conditions you mention? Also from reading alot of other posts, it seems there are many more people there attending the town meetings, etc? Is that a common thing to do there? Phoenix is so big, more people here are much more apathetic. As a newcomer I would tread lightly with whatever opinions I have immediately after arriving. You probably wont see me at a town hall meeting trying to plan or influence the future of any city until I really feel like I understand it completely.
Maineguy: I would say I fit more into the liberal camp only because I have more of a live & let live attitude, but at the same token you point out those areas contain more retirees with money. I have nothing against that either, but have kids and dont want to place them in an area where the direction of the city is in total contrast to family life. I have a little bit of a bad taste for the phrase "retirees with money" because half of Phoenix contains "Sun City, Sun City West, Sun City Grand" and plenty of other age restricted communities. The profile that loves living there are "retirees with money" as you describe and they have a certain hatred for children, and even though they are loaded they oppose having to pay even an insignificant amount for schooling other people's rugrats. (Even though the previous generation paid for their schooling whether they had kids or not.) Maybe the retirees in Maine are different than this? I sure hope so. I have nothing against the "other" maine either. Maybe I would fit more into that camp after my kids are raised. I read an article about the "no wing" militia group that someone posted here and found those people to be dead on with their viewpoints, and have nothing against people with beards down to their belly wearing flannel shirts that shoot boxes painted like televisions!! Sounds like fun to me, haha. I liked the remark of "It aint about right vs left, its about up vs. down" and the remark about the Republican screw vs the Democrat screw. Sounds wise... LOL!!!
K-Luv: I can appreciate that viewpoint, most small areas will oppose growth and want to keep the original feel of their city, and not be drown out in the shadow of Walmart and corporate America. I oppose this type of thing too. Will I have to start any introductions of myself by sharing this viewpoint so they dont think Im there to revolutionize their town? I would want to come live where I choose and enjoy it just the way it is. I will be just fine getting whatever is available nearby and realize there is a trade off of living in a smaller place as opposed to a huge city. I dont do any of the things offered in my city, and largely have to drive HOURS away to do the things that seem common in Maine.
Newdaawn: I am making no comparisons to Maine vs. Long Island weather. I havent lived there in 30+ years anyhow. I just wanted to avoid getting alot of comments about how I will hate the cold since Im from Phoenix. I understand that its radically different from where I am now. I know for sure that I am prepared for severe cold and even read other write in that they were cautioned so much about the winters that they were actually disappointed it wasnt as cold as they were warned!! I found that funny. Whether I have it in my blood to cope with cold weather and the inconvenience of snow for the rest of my life is an unknown, but Im adaptable enough to extreme conditions. I tell people the same thing when they ask about living in Phx, come in the Summer, and if you find it pleasant, it only gets better!
My personal viewpoint is that HOT is HOT, COLD is COLD. You will probably be staying inside your home in air conditioning whether is 101 degrees or 120 degrees. I think the same would apply to the cold. Whether its 10 degrees or -10 degrees, you will find a way to stay warm inside. Is that not true?
Thanks again all, and sorry for being so wordy, just have a lot on my mind and appreciate the feedback!!
...
Forest: I completely agree, you will have to make your own social life happen. I moreso wondered if it was hard to do so even if you try due to being "from away" I will consider that question beaten to death at this point. The answer sounds to be "NO" with the only exception that naturally at first people will be curious as to who I am and what my intentions and or expectations are. They may worry that I am going to be a rude, self important "New Yorker" or other such type, but after awhile if I dont rock the boat, the curiosity will fade and Im just another resident. Does this sound accurate?
Yeah.
Quote:
... and have nothing against people with beards down to their belly wearing flannel shirts!!
Beards down to their bellies and wearing flannel?
Nobody, nobody in Maine fits that description, nobody I say. If I stand up straight my beard does not reach my belly [yet], it would need another couple of inches, before it did.
And I wear a t-shirt most of the summah, not flannel.
In the wintah my shirts are actually wool, not flannel.
Quote:
... My personal viewpoint is that HOT is HOT, COLD is COLD. You will probably be staying inside your home in air conditioning whether is 101 degrees or 120 degrees. I think the same would apply to the cold. Whether its 10 degrees or -10 degrees, you will find a way to stay warm inside. Is that not true?
Yeah
Put another log on the fire,
cook me up some bacon and some beans,
.....
K-Luv: I can appreciate that viewpoint, most small areas will oppose growth and want to keep the original feel of their city, and not be drown out in the shadow of Walmart and corporate America. I oppose this type of thing too. Will I have to start any introductions of myself by sharing this viewpoint so they dont think Im there to revolutionize their town? I would want to come live where I choose and enjoy it just the way it is. I will be just fine getting whatever is available nearby and realize there is a trade off of living in a smaller place as opposed to a huge city. I dont do any of the things offered in my city, and largely have to drive HOURS away to do the things that seem common in Maine.
You do not have to initiate this conversation and many Mainers do shop at Wal-Mart anyways. If you bring it up right off the bat, especially if its out of the blue or not warranted, people will think that you were off your rocker, odd, "one of those people", pushy, or trying too hard. It is best to just let your actions and general conversation speak for themselves. It's not what you say, but what you do - how you treat others, and how you live that speak louder then any word. It's not that people are moving here that peeves Mainers (well, not all Mainers, anyways). It's those who move here and want to change things or complain about everything that are the real problem. These are generally people who moved here to escape the crime and hassle of big city living, but still want the convenience and life style of the city or those who just plain did not realize what they were getting into. But to be honest, you will find that in every state.
If you and your intentions are genuine, you will not have a problem making friends or finding your place in Maine, however, I strongly suggest that you visit and stay for as long as you can afford to before making any final decision.
cmist, I went to high school decades ago and I have no idea what Lisbon High is like now. You'll have to check out the schools in the towns you're interested in to see what they're like these days.
"Town meeting" is a New England tradition. Many, if not most, towns cannot spend money except according to a plan that has been approved at an annual town meeting that is open to all of the town's eligible voters. So, for one or two evenings each year, a surprisingly high percentage of the town's electorate heads for (usually) the local school gym and goes through a "warrant" asking for approval of things like town employees' salaries and benefits, buying a new fire truck, accepting roads as town-maintained roads, funding the library, school and certain other activities. Every item is open to debate and vote. Town meeting really gives you some insight into how Maine towns function.
In reference to my post, K-Luv said: "Keep in mind that someone coming from a more populated state and/or city is going to have a broader, or different, idea of what a social life entails. Not everyone is into pseudo-fraternal organizations, wilderness activities, or church groups." In addition to the activities forest threw out there, I also mentioned "musical and theater groups, library groups, snowmobile clubs and you can also meet a lot of people by volunteering at a library, animal shelter, social service agency and so on." I lived for many years in Chicago and San Francisco, so I do have some idea what goes on socially in more populous areas. In many ways, I think we have more going on in Maine, at least if you want something more than passive entertainment. If you're interested in theater, for example, you have more of a chance of getting deeply involved here than if you live in a big city. There are some people whose idea of a social life is going out to bars, nightclubs, restaurants, amusement parks and the like. To me, that all seems pretty superficial and passive, but of course I'm the type of person who likes Maine. I sure hope that cmist is the type of person who realizes Maine isn't going to have that kind of social life (except for right around Portland) and isn't looking for that kind of thing here.
The complaints you see often happen because:
Someone moves here and doesn't even really try to fit in, and starts to act like a bit of jerk (some folks in New Jersey, New York, etc. have a particular personality type that can be viewed as rude, arrogant, pushy, etc. to people who are not from those states. Unfortunately, some of them move here, and then don't realize they are no longer in their old state, where such personalities were the norm. Now they are in a place where the personality type is the EXACT OPPOSITE!) So then the locals shun them a bit (we will try once or twice to talk some sense into someone, but we will NOT prostrate ourselves or knock ourselves out trying to get someone to "see the light"). So THEN the person from away gets offended and starts acting like an even bigger jerk, rather than "reforming" (lol). This just isn't good. Lol. Soon they get a bad reputation. We are a live and let live kind of state, and it is hard to get a bad reputation. But if you DO get one, forget it. You might as well go back to New York. Some do just that, and then spend years complaining about the "unwelcoming Mainers".
We've all seen it, haven't we board??
Thats not just Maine , its about any rural area in the US.
You could sub Chicago for New York and say the exact same thing here in Wisconsin.
Truth be told , we live in a mass culture, the only difference left is urban/rural and even that is nowhere as strong as it once as once was.
The only part of Maine that is a bit different is the Arcadian areas up in the northeast of the county.
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