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01-02-2008, 10:06 AM
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Junior Member
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Join Date: Jan 2008
2 posts, read 1,910 times
Reputation: 10
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My Story- I need some advice to finally move on
-I live in Maryland
-We have a 4 year old son
-I watch him 6 out of 7 nights a week (but she picks him up and has dinner with him 3 nights during the week)
-Separated 2 years now
-She pays for his daycare
-She makes $20k more than I do
-I pay his health insurance
-She moved out and I'm staying in the house
I'm broker than broke and can't afford a lawyer. She has money and has a lawyer and has papers she says she's ready to file. Problem is, I won't agree to what she wants. I want things to stay the same and he'll go to school by my house. She has different plans and wants him to go to school in another county and live with her most of the time. She also wants her overbearing mother to watch him and take him out of daycare. He'll be in kindergarden in a year and I like him being exposed to other children. Since she's paying for daycare, she could possibly stop paying and just pull him out and then I'm screwed.
-Should I quickly write up some documents and file them with ?whoever?
-Mediation could help, but if she decides she doesn't like the outcome, then it will be a wasted effort and a waste of money
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01-02-2008, 10:11 AM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Dec 2007
414 posts, read 268,030 times
Reputation: 54
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PapaBear04
-I live in Maryland
-We have a 4 year old son
-I watch him 6 out of 7 nights a week (but she picks him up and has dinner with him 3 nights during the week)
-Separated 2 years now
-She pays for his daycare
-She makes $20k more than I do
-I pay his health insurance
-She moved out and I'm staying in the house
I'm broker than broke and can't afford a lawyer. She has money and has a lawyer and has papers she says she's ready to file. Problem is, I won't agree to what she wants. I want things to stay the same and he'll go to school by my house. She has different plans and wants him to go to school in another county and live with her most of the time. She also wants her overbearing mother to watch him and take him out of daycare. He'll be in kindergarden in a year and I like him being exposed to other children. Since she's paying for daycare, she could possibly stop paying and just pull him out and then I'm screwed.
-Should I quickly write up some documents and file them with ?whoever?
-Mediation could help, but if she decides she doesn't like the outcome, then it will be a wasted effort and a waste of money
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Try to find a lawyer who will get you the due alimony and take his cut based on his performance. Your kid is obviously the most important thing to you, of which I am glad. The issue is that she could well qualify as having abandoned the two of you under Maryland law.
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01-02-2008, 10:24 AM
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Junior Member
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Join Date: Jan 2008
2 posts, read 1,910 times
Reputation: 10
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Is it a bad idea to go through this without a lawyer? I can't afford one with my own money and I don't really want to pursue alimony. I just want things to stay the way they are and for her to continue paying his tuition. Is there any benefit of being the first one to file papers (not even sure what that entails)?
She seems to think she could win in court even though I currently have sole custody and she abandoned us. I'm worried she's got something up her sleeve, but hopefully she's just bluffing. It's been two years and we have nothing at all documented. The only thing I suppose I do have is people to testify in my favor.
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01-02-2008, 10:35 AM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Dec 2007
414 posts, read 268,030 times
Reputation: 54
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PapaBear04
Is it a bad idea to go through this without a lawyer? I can't afford one with my own money and I don't really want to pursue alimony. I just want things to stay the way they are and for her to continue paying his tuition. Is there any benefit of being the first one to file papers (not even sure what that entails)?
She seems to think she could win in court even though I currently have sole custody and she abandoned us. I'm worried she's got something up her sleeve, but hopefully she's just bluffing. It's been two years and we have nothing at all documented. The only thing I suppose I do have is people to testify in my favor.
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Gosh, I'm not sure your situation is one in which you'd do well to consult strangers on here for advice. If possible, see if you can't find a social worker or other program that can help you with a little free legal advice. I'd love to help you, but I won't even start law school until I finish my PhD, and I don't think you want to wait three years. 
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01-02-2008, 11:33 AM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Jun 2006
337 posts, read 460,450 times
Reputation: 47
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If she sees him for dinner for 3 nights a week, then it is not abandonment. She could probably make a case that she had to leave the home because the living situation was unbearable, and you wouldn't leave.
You need a lawyer. I know it's expensive, but she could probably easily take custody away from you- even though you've been the one taking care of your child for the majority of the time. Do you have an actual legal arrangement right now, or is it just a verbal agreement btween the 2 of you? Go to lawguru.com and post your question on their website, you will get replies from real lawyers advising you on what to do, but I think you should do whatever you have to to be able to hire a lawyer- take out a loan, borrow from family or whatever.
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01-02-2008, 05:05 PM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Jul 2007
434 posts, read 327,343 times
Reputation: 88
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You can call Legal Aid.
Legal Aid Bureau Inc. - How We Can Help You
Legal Aid Bureau Inc.
500 East Lexington Street
Baltimore, MD 21202
telephone: 410-951-7777
fax: 410-951-7818 |
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01-02-2008, 05:09 PM
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friend to all
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: republic
429 posts, read 107,995 times
Reputation: 293
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look for mediation help through your local child support office
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01-02-2008, 06:41 PM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Jun 2007
446 posts, read 418,339 times
Reputation: 219
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PapaBear -- Nobody on a forum like this could possibly know what you should do, or even what is best for your child. DO go to legal aid and get a lawyer. You need help. Keep in mind best for your child if things can somehow say amicable between you and your ex-wife, no matter how bad she is she is your child's mother.
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01-15-2008, 12:14 PM
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Junior Member
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Join Date: Dec 2007
8 posts, read 9,857 times
Reputation: 11
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Single Father
You sound like a wonderful father. Now days that is definitely rare to find. I suggest calling the Maryland Bar and see if any attorneys or paralegals will work pro bono in family law. Alot of the paperwork can be completed with assistance. Also try looking for organizations for single fathers or call local law schools. They generally have members or a listing that can assist. I would not give up without a fair fight. Your ex is definitely looking for ways to cut expenses and have her way too.
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01-15-2008, 12:16 PM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: where I dont want to be
240 posts, read 307,226 times
Reputation: 29
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You can check with the maryland volunteer law association (i think thats what its called) and you fill out a summary for pro bono pro se services
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