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First of all, I don't know the school systems in NJ but Maryland or at least Montgomery County will provide what the law requires and more! In fact, we have several parent organizations and legal groups that ensure that students receive services and as much "mainstreaming" as possible given their needs. And remember that Montgomery County has the feds looking over its shoulder every moment! I had a boy with Asberger's Syndrome in my Boy Scout troop and he went all the way through high school with his peers and will graduate this spring. In fact, it is said that despite our high real estate prices, parents with children with disabilities sometimes moved to Montgomery County simply to get the special education services that Frederick County or other nearby counties couldn't or wouldn't provide. I work for the school system and Special Ed is probably the single largest department in the central office.
Will your son get everything he needs? Probably. Will he be happy? Probably. Will it be the typical bureaucratic rigamarole? Yes! Will you have to speak up for him and what he needs? Probably.
And FYI - It's Silver Spring. I lived there once. Everybody gets it messed up with the place in Florida.
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