Rules for the Eastern Shore (Annapolis: home, universities, pharmacist)

[ptsum]

MY niece just sent me these, Rules for the Eastern Shore, I would like to share these with y'all,

The Rules for the Eastern Shore of Maryland are as follows:
Listen up City Slickers!!

1.) Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2.) Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.

3.) Let's get this straight; it's a dirt road, I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, your going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4.) They are cattle. They'er live steaks.That's why they smell funny to you. But they smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? Stay on the west side of the Bay Bridge!

5.) So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $150,000 corn pickers and hay balers that are driven only three weeks a year.

6.) So every person on the Eastern Shore waves. We think of it as being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7.) If the cell phone rings while an eight-point buck and 3 does are coming in, we Will shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8.) Yeah, we eat taters & gravy, beans & cornbread, we steam our crabs after catchin' 'em. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

9.) The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the first Saturday after Thanksgiving.

10.) We opened doors for women. This is applied to all women, regardless of age.

11.)No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak; Or you can order the Chef Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

12.) When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats (includes fish), vegetables, and breads. We use 4 spices: salt, pepper, Old Bay and ketchup.

13.) You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice.

14.) You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

15.)Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards-- it spooks the fish.

16.) Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities, Community Colleges along with private Colleges. They come out of here with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come home for the holidays.

17.) We have a whole ton of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you'll get whipped by the best.

18.) Turned down that blasted car stereo!! That thumpity-thumpcrap ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers. Refer back to #1.

19.) 4 inches isn't a blizzard-it's a flurry. Drive like you got some sense in it, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and toilet paper from the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska, worst case you may have to live a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snow blades will have you out the next day.


Okay folks, here are the Rules for The Eastern Shore of Maryland,
So act accordingly. LOL...

[vivo]

Originally Posted by ptsum

MY niece just sent me these, Rules for the Eastern Shore, I would share these with y'all,

The Rules for the Eastern Shore of Maryland are as follows:
Listen up City Slickers!!

1.) Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2.) Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.

3.) Let's get this straight; it's a dirt road, I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, your going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4.) They are cattle. They'er live steaks.That's why they smell funny to you. But they smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? Stay on the west side of the Bay Bridge!

5.) So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $150,000 corn pickers and hay balers that are driven only three weeks a year.

6.) So every person on the Eastern Shore waves. We think of as being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7.) If the cell phone rings while an eight-point buck and 3 does are coming in, we Will shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8.) Yeah, we eat taters & gravy, beans & cornbread, we steam our crabs after catchin' 'em. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

9.) The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the first Saturday after Thanksgiving.

10.) We opened doors for women. This is applied to all women, regardless of age.

11.)No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak; Or you can order the Chef Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

12.) When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats (includes fish), vegetables, and breads. We use 4 spices: salt, pepper, Old Bay and ketchup.

13.) You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice.

14.) You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

15.)Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards-- it spooks the fish.

16.) Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities, Community Colleges along with private Colleges. They come out of here with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come home for the holidays.

17.) We have a whole ton of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you'll get whipped by the best.

18.) Turned down that blasted car stereo!! That thumpity-thumpcrap ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers. Refer back to #1.

19.) 4 inches isn't a blizzard-it's a flurry. Drive like he got some sense in it, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and toilet paper from the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska, worst case you may have to live a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snow blades will have you out the next day.


Okay folks, here are the Rules for The Eastern Shore of Maryland,
So act accordingly. LOL...

Terrapin this is your heaven in MD. get a job in Annapolis or if dc or bmore get used to the commute

[vivo]

oops of course there's western md or carroll co or southern md for bmore/dc jobs which are a better commute. the weather is slightly worse. in western md/carroll co. your going to be a pharmacist so where will u be getting a job ?? (drug store , doc's office).
western md does have marc access. of course so md and eastern shore are more southern and you've said before are more maryland. carroll co might be good.

[ptsum]

Originally Posted by vivo

oops of course there's western md or carroll co or southern md for bmore/dc jobs which are a better commute. the weather is slightly worse. in western md/carroll co. your going to be a pharmacist so where will u be getting a job ?? (drug store , doc's office).
western md does have marc access. of course so md and eastern shore are more southern and you've said before are more maryland. carroll co might be good.

Hay vivo, you in the wrong thread or something? what you are saying, makes no sense here. Just asking.

[vivo]

Originally Posted by ptsum

Hay vivo, you in the wrong thread or something? what you are saying, makes no sense here. Just asking.

yeah sorry was a threadjack. anyoen who's familiar with terrapin's posting history knows what I'm referring to. anyway back to the topic.

[Gabrielle]

LOL! Thanks for the laughs, ptsum!

[oncesir]

Originally Posted by ptsum

6.) So every person on the Eastern Shore waves. We think of it as being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

19.) 4 inches isn't a blizzard-it's a flurry. Drive like you got some sense in it, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and toilet paper from the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska, worst case you may have to live a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snow blades will have you out the next day.

In reference to #6. The only way ppl wave is if your in a truck on the back roads. Otherwise your just a come here to them.

About #19. 1 inch of snow here shuts the shore down. Few roads get plowed and since many ppl have a hard time driving on dry roads you can imagine what happens here when it snows.
BTW Im not the shores' biggest fan. One thing you forgot to mention is the lovely chicken smell yr round that makes you happy you can afford that 300K home in the country. You can live here just dont open your windows or doors. This place is WAAAYYYYYY overrated. My .02