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Yikes, downtown DC is a tall order from the Anne Arundel county. Rt 50 is painful and there seems to be an accident most days than not. I think 90 mins is a fair rush hour commute, and it will be worse in the afternoon. It can easily take over 30 mins to get to downtown DC from a close-in suburb. Maybe Bowie would be a better compromise...but I'm too sure about the schools there. I would concentrate more on finding a place better for your commute, and you can always go visit Grandma in the evenings and on weekends, when traffic isn't as much a concern.
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