Hello!
May I suggest checking out frederickmommies.com? It's a forum (free!) for moms in Frederick Co! It's a great source of support
Anyway, secondly, I would avoid anywhere off of 40. There are gangs, drugs, just not nice stuff. It may *look* nice but I'd avoid it.
I would check out Ballenger Creek area, there is a great apartment complex that has really nice floor plans... We checked them out at one point:
Mountain Glen Apartments Frederick, MD - Apartments for Rent in Frederick Maryland
I would also suggest looking in the outskirts of Frederick, depending on where you/your husband is working.. including but not limited to Thurmount, Brunswick, Myersville, New Market (New Market is beautiful!), Urbana, Middletown.. Depending on how much you want to spend. Any of those outer towns are for the most part quiet and safe. There were some strong armed breakins in Urbana a few years ago (maybe last year I don't remember) but overall still pretty safe... Depending on what you want out of your community some of those may work for you, but others may not (how close do you want to be to stores, etc). Spring Ridge is a nice community within Frederick.. very beautiful homes.
I would also stay away from downtown Frederick. It's a fabulous place to visit, but is very hit or miss depending on what street you are on as far as living there. Anywhere around Baker Park is going to be expensive but BEAUTIFUL!