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Old 04-16-2011, 12:58 PM
 
34 posts, read 33,560 times
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I have lived just outside of Boston my whole life and have always had that escape feeling to move away and make things happen. I've looked into other parts of the country and find Colorado very appealing, although I have never been there. The drier climate and "300 days of sunshine" seems great.. I am an outdoorsie person.. mostly hiking.

I was laid off nearly 7 months back and have found it difficult to get a job and realize it may be just as hard somewhere else.

Now, with the invention of social networking and the ease of exploring other locations with the net, it's sometimes tempting to pack up and go like others to start a new life.

Things that frustrate the heck out of me here;

Cost of living. Its high and is it really worth it?
Congestion, old infrastructure.
Obviously finding a job.
Weather. We had a great spring and summer last year, but winter was downright depressing, dampening peoples mood.
Humidity in summer causes respiratory issues (if i explain that to people they have a "suck it up" mentality.. maybe they dont realize that it sucks you cant breathe when the humidity is high? that old school mentality bugs me too)

Things Im happy about there;

Family is here.
I know the area inside out,
Great Medical treatment if needed
Good social scene for when I want to "go out"
Near the water and not far from mountains, ocean, ect.
No major weather events. (i dont consider a nor easter major)

So Ive been burning the candle at both ends for a while now.
As so many have prob been in this situation, I need your advice.

I guess what Im afraid of is if I get to a new place I'll still feel the same on the inside and a move would not change much..

any feedback would be nice.

thx
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Old 04-16-2011, 01:18 PM
 
3,568 posts, read 3,206,513 times
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If most of your family is in the area, if you get along well with them and see them as a support system, and if the financial aspect is not completely overwhelming - I would stay.

Too many people today underestimate the value of strong family ties, included extended family.
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Old 04-16-2011, 01:46 PM
 
Location: Providence, RI
4,037 posts, read 5,444,887 times
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Priorities... priorities.

Job offer is #1- you can try to get a job in Colorado- maybe it will happen- then consider a move.

Relationships are also high priority. Young people seem to have the attitude that marriage, for example, is obsolete. But going it alone is so much harder. This is probably not relevant to your situation at this point- but I thought I'd mention it for future consideration.

Family is also underestimated as Syracusa said- but you do sometimes need to cut the parental cord at least for a period of time.
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Old 04-16-2011, 02:33 PM
 
34 posts, read 33,560 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hollytree View Post
Priorities... priorities.

Job offer is #1- you can try to get a job in Colorado- maybe it will happen- then consider a move.

Relationships are also high priority. Young people seem to have the attitude that marriage, for example, is obsolete. But going it alone is so much harder. This is probably not relevant to your situation at this point- but I thought I'd mention it for future consideration.

Family is also underestimated as Syracusa said- but you do sometimes need to cut the parental cord at least for a period of time.
thx.

I am all for being married someday, but I understand what you are saying.

You bring up a good point.

Boston is suppose to be top notch for singles, and there are a lot of women here, yet they are super independent and stick to their friends it seems when out and about. So the statistics are a bit deceiving.

There are a lot of singles cause they are all crazy and want to live outside their needs.

People just want way to much and end up complaining they are single but they need to take a good look in the mirror.

Yes there are many many singles here but they are not very nice people.

Sometimes i wonder if theyd help me if I was having a heart attack in front of them..

anyways, I think a problem is people come here cause they seek to live the sex in the city life but end up bitter and old and not married..



I think family is very important considering that the reality of it is Id have to travel back here frequently has they all get older and of course god forbid something happens but its inevitable.
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Old 04-16-2011, 04:05 PM
 
Location: Boston
5,401 posts, read 9,442,326 times
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I agree with the priorities post.

I'm 25. I've lived in Washington DC, Providence, Portland Maine and Massachusetts (Boston now, but I pretty much grew up on the South Coast). I LOVE Eastern Massachusetts. It's home as my friend's live here, much of my family is here and the seasons, architecture, and natural aspects of the area are awesome. That said, as I'm creeping towards the end of grad school, I'm starting to field job offers from other areas of the country and I think I may take one to try another region.

I'm firmly of the belief that if you have an opportunity to move out and live somewhere else (and no one else is dependent on you), do it. It can't hurt. One of a few things will happen. 1) You absolutely love it and stay forever. 2) You aren't thrilled with it, but realize that there's more out there than just what your used to and embark on a "mission" to find the perfect place to live. 3) You realize that what you have at home is great and the negatives aren't as bad as you make them out to be. You gain a new found appreciation and seek to move back when you can.

It's a learning experience either way. Even if you hate where you move, it should make you appreciate where you came from. I HATED living in Portland, ME (great little town to visit though). Still, living there made me appreciate things I took for granted back in MA. If you LOVE where you move, you will be happy you didn't stay. Branching out gives you exposure and experience that's invaluable.

When I read city-data posts, I generally dislike the ones that begin with "Well I've lived here my WHOLE life and...." They're generally filled with ignorance regarding the rest of the world. Sure, they may be able to tell you the best restaurant in town, or which streets are the best in that particular area; but they're often viewing the world through a real narrow scope.

I'd say go out and try somewhere new. If you're not married, and you don't have kids (I'm in the same boat), you have every right to be a little selfish. Take a slightly lower paying job if it means you get to spend time in an area you are interested in. Now's the time to do it. If you're lukewarm on Massachusetts, you'll regret not trying something new. Worst case scenario you just end up with more exposure.
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Old 04-16-2011, 05:06 PM
 
2,764 posts, read 2,719,315 times
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I would go for it. If your family is close knit then it won't matter where you relocate to. We moved away in 1997 to Chicago and I wish I could go back and do it differently. I went there expecting things to be the same as what I left behind. I didn't like the food, I missed the ocean, and frankly I missed most of the experience because I was too busy comparing the two places. The people of Chicago are/were the best, so easy to get to know, and I should have swapped my seafood taste for steak because it's what they did well. We are back in MA now, loving family, friends, seafood, history, etc., etc., etc., but I wouldn't want to erase my Chicago adventure. I just wish I had done it differently. Go, but go with an open mind. There's a world outside of Boston and if you miss it, it'll be here waiting for you.
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Old 04-16-2011, 06:38 PM
 
158 posts, read 288,830 times
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You're never as old as you think you are. This is true now more than ever, as people live longer and life is drawn out. People set artificial timelines for themselves. You're told your adult when you graduate from college. You feel pressure to have things figured out by 25. You think 30 is old. Then you think 35 is old. And so on and so on.

But you can always come home, and things dont change much. The seasons will still be here. Old friends and family will be here. Take off for a year. When your away, it feels like a decade, but when you come back the same guys will be sitting on the same barstools, drinking the same drinks with the same bartender and it will feel like you never left. I feel you need about four or five years to really become part of a new environ and start losing your roots. A year or two somewhere else is like and excursion.

I love it here. But dont stick around out of fear of fear of missin out, not fitting in somewhere else.
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Old 04-16-2011, 08:10 PM
 
Location: Nuevo México
1,820 posts, read 2,201,714 times
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At 26 after having started my career I already had such a sense of suffocation living in Boston after just 3 years. I grew up in New York and spent my college years in New England. When I had a chance to get away (a job offer in New Mexico) I jumped at it. It was like coming up for air. I didn't really understand how oppressive things were for me in Boston (people, my employer, the weather) until I left. Suddenly my environment was radically different, filled with friendlier people, weather conducive to enjoying amazing outdoor activities year-round, an employer who respected me (vs. an employer who treated me like a child in Boston). This was over 20 years ago.

My folks eventually followed me out. They could no longer handle the northern winters. Dad has since passed away and Mom has moved into assisted living where I can keep an eye on her. She wishes they moved out here much longer ago when she was more physically active. She spent her whole life hating winter until coming here when she was 76.

So you don't know. If you establish yourself somewhere else and are happy there, you might start a whole family migration! But this wasn't unusual in my family. Out of my siblings and all my first cousins (10 of us) who grew up together in New York, only one still lives in the area. The rest are scattered across the country, from Montana to North Carolina.
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Old 04-16-2011, 09:55 PM
 
1,746 posts, read 1,542,254 times
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It sounds like you really want to try something different. I say go for it. If you don't like living there, you can always move back. I toyed with the idea of moving out of Massachusetts for a while and finally decided to try looking for a job in a warmer climate. It only took me a month to find a job here in South Carolina. I have only been away from Massachusetts for 6 weeks, so I don't know yet if this will become my permanent home, but at least I will not be kicking myself in 10 years because I didn't try living here. Colorado looks beautiful.
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Old 04-16-2011, 10:26 PM
 
Location: MA
158 posts, read 200,384 times
Reputation: 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by aries63 View Post
At 26 after having started my career I already had such a sense of suffocation living in Boston after just 3 years. I grew up in New York and spent my college years in New England. When I had a chance to get away (a job offer in New Mexico) I jumped at it. It was like coming up for air. I didn't really understand how oppressive things were for me in Boston (people, my employer, the weather) until I left. Suddenly my environment was radically different, filled with friendlier people, weather conducive to enjoying amazing outdoor activities year-round, an employer who respected me (vs. an employer who treated me like a child in Boston). This was over 20 years ago.

My folks eventually followed me out. They could no longer handle the northern winters. Dad has since passed away and Mom has moved into assisted living where I can keep an eye on her. She wishes they moved out here much longer ago when she was more physically active. She spent her whole life hating winter until coming here when she was 76.

So you don't know. If you establish yourself somewhere else and are happy there, you might start a whole family migration! But this wasn't unusual in my family. Out of my siblings and all my first cousins (10 of us) who grew up together in New York, only one still lives in the area. The rest are scattered across the country, from Montana to North Carolina.
Lovely post, like a breath of fresh air. Much of my earlier life was involved with work related travel affording the opportunity to get to know other areas of the country (and the world).
There is an element in the western US I refer to as 'western mind', not many who haven't experienced it can relate. New England is stodgy in comparison.

Last edited by Justin Sparks; 04-16-2011 at 11:42 PM..
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