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Old 03-16-2012, 08:20 PM
5,460 posts, read 11,228,659 times
Reputation: 3982


Even if MA as a state ranks highly in the quality of its educational system, it's still true that school systems within the state vary in quality. It would be unwise for someone--the OP of this thread or anyone else--who was considering a move here to assume that any town in MA would have excellent schools. It would be prudent for those with school-aged children to do their research into which places had schools of an overall quality they would find acceptable, and which would be a good fit for their children.
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Old 03-17-2012, 07:21 AM
238 posts, read 217,712 times
Reputation: 109
I'm from that area and moved out here years ago for a reason similar to yours -- just-divorced and met a new love interest online. It didn't work out with that person - were broken up about 3 months after I had made the move. I've had to sleep in the bed I made, and it's not all bad, but really don't see any grand benefits to living out here. Mainly I only see the downsides and have had to continually train myself to not continually compare. I have job security until retirement, so I'll probably stick it out until retirement and then hightail it back out west. It's strange how MA schools are rated high nationally, but working in the education field myself, I just don't see how that is from what I experience first-hand working with the median product from public schools.
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Old 03-17-2012, 08:08 AM
Status: "I ordered the Code Red that killed Santiago!" (set 13 days ago)
Location: Boston, MA
8,431 posts, read 5,221,721 times
Reputation: 3810
Originally Posted by Fighting4life View Post
Terribly sorry, but this is my first time on this site and I wasn't aware I needed to post all the details of my life less I be judged for everything under the sun. I just asked for the positives of raising kids in MA.
I'm sorry you're going through this situation and equally sorry for the judgementalism of my fellow CDers. It's not supposed to work that way here.

Talk to a lawyer in MT who knows the system and knows the judges. The two states are what they are and hopefully the judge you end up with can see the value of this great state. I recommend it highly for raising children. The fact that you don't have an extensive history in MT should help greatly.

Good Luck!

Last edited by Mr. Joshua; 03-17-2012 at 08:40 AM..
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Old 03-18-2012, 03:19 PM
Location: Massachusetts
1,707 posts, read 807,488 times
Reputation: 4642
Very nicely said. Not sure why nor do I like all the negativism to be found here.
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Old 03-18-2012, 05:16 PM
10,976 posts, read 19,139,495 times
Reputation: 12454
Sounds like the OP has good reasons to be here aside from the boyfriend, although it does sound like they have a solid history beyond "online." (I also once had a failed long-distance relationship that started by email. Suffice to say, "Semper fi, my fat white butt!")
I agree that she should be able to make a good case for moving here, and not much of one for staying in MT or wanting to go back.
I'm not involved in the school systems, so wouldn't know how they work.
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Old 06-07-2012, 08:58 AM
378 posts, read 578,977 times
Reputation: 500
You've already made a pretty good case for yourself. There isn't much anyone here can tell you that you don't know about your own situation. Massachusetts is a nice place to live, but it isn't a mystical wonderland to the point a judge from another state would say, "Well, if you're going to MA, that's a horse of a different color!"

To summarize what you've said:
* Your ex is only in town 25% of the time, and your children will benefit from a 2-parent household. If you have no in-laws or other family in town, mention that as well.
* You have a long-standing stable friendship and previous romance with the person you're marrying here.
* Your 16-year-old requires education that you believe will best be provided in a state like Massachusetts. Research schools before you make that claim.
* Your ex travels to the east coast frequently.
* You have no ties to Montana, other than the past 2 years.
* There are more job opportunities in finance in Massachusetts than Montana.

It seems like a lot to expect your ex to move to Massachusetts because you want to. You'll be starting over with a built-in family; from what you've said, he doesn't know anyone here. It might help if you were willing to renegotiate your custody agreement so that his kid(s) could spend time with him in Montana or New Jersey.

Also: If your ex fathered both your 2-year-old and 4-year-old, where did you live previously? The newness of the move to Montana, especially when your ex doesn't have a job or family there, should be the most compelling reason you shouldn't have to spend the rest of your lives there if you don't want to.

Last edited by donewithpretty; 06-07-2012 at 09:09 AM..
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