Live mortgage free or move to better town (Boston, Newton: sale, apartment)

[NiceNickel]

My husband and I currently live in Methuen with our two young children (4 and 2). We sold our home and moved here last year into my childhood home that my Mom could no longer manage on her own. The house is large (~3900 sq ft) has no mortgage, almost 3 acres of land, and my Mom has agreed to transfer ownership to us in the future. The house could use lots of updates, but I think it could be done a little at a time. We know we could never afford a house this size anywhere in Massachusetts. My biggest issue is with the poorly rated school system. Also, my husband has a long commute to Newton. Would you stay put and send your kids to private school? Or should we start saving for a smaller home with a better school system closer to Boston?

[NewfieMama]

I feel like the best solution would be to sell the house, use the equity to buy a smaller house in a town with better schools and still be mortgage-free. But it sounds like that may not be possible because this is still your mother's primary residence, correct? Would she be willing to sell so long as she could live with you in the new house? I just feel like 3,900 square feet and 3 acres is a lot to take care of. We have 3,100 square feet and 2 acres and there are times it's great and times I wish the house and yard were both smaller (or I were richer and could have a housekeeper and full-time landscaper).

If moving/leveraging the equity is not an option, then I'd probably stay put and take advantage of not having a mortgage for at least awhile longer. Your kids are still young, so you could stay put until they were both school-aged at least. A few years of living mortgage-free is a lot of savings and I'd have a hard time turning that down.

[NiceNickel]

Thanks for the advice, NewfieMama. My Mom does still own the house. It's a difficult situation, because she basically told us that she would transfer ownership if there was a big expense she could not afford, such as the house needing a new roof. Other than that, she has not given us a set date. I would hate to sink money in the house if we intend to buy a new house in a few years. We do have someone cut the grass, because it is too much property to maintain. The only good thing about the big house is she has her own in-law apartment. I'm afraid we would get on each others nerves if we shared a small space. I think you're right about saving up while we can. Maybe the house will make the decision for us. If something major does need replacing in the near future, we will have more influence in deciding if we should sell.

[MikePRU]

If I were in your shoes, I would take the next year to save up money and think about what I want to do.

[Hollytree]

Originally Posted by NiceNickel

We sold our home and moved here last year into my childhood home that my Mom could no longer manage on her own.

It's right to be thinking about your own future, but if you left soon, what happens to your Mother? This is more than a financial decision.

[sharencare]

The market is also competitive now because of low inventory and low interest rates. My hunch is if you wait a bit, inventory will go up as the baby boomers consider retirement and see that it's a seller's market. If you wait a year...well, you don't lose much and you gain a year of savings.

[NiceNickel]

You're right Hollytree. It is an emotional decision, and I would never want to leave my Mom in such a bad position. I hope that she would want to go with us if we do choose to move. The worst case scenario would be that we save up, but she decides not to go with us and is forced to sell the house anyway. We would have a little money saved up, but not nearly enough to get more than a starter home, and I doubt it would be in a town close to my husband's commute. She would then use the equity from the sale of this house, and probably buy into a retirement community. The easiest solution would be for us to stay and send the kids to private school here. I'm just not sure yet if it's the best solution. I guess I was hoping for some glowing reviews of the private schools around here to convince me to stick around haha. I would have to enroll my oldest daughter in January for the following September, so I don't even have a year to decide.

[kingeorge]

Your Mom is loving her home, and would like to stay in it, if she has someone who can take care of the things for her. However there are not yet any "definite" plans, and date of property transfer? Do you have any siblings that should be involved in this as well? You are taking care of your mom, and can live "free" there, but I think that this situation and uncertainty will not be feeling so "free" sooner or later.
I think you and your mom should make up your minds, and probably sell her home ASAP. She can move somewhere where she can manage alone, or gift money to you, so you can buy better suited home, in exchange for you taking care of her. You do not say what your husband has to say about all of this, but I suspect his daily commute is taking his toll. He should have his say. I also think that you now being an adult, and having your own family, you need to think about your family's well being first and foremost. This is your first responsibility. I admire you wanting to smooth this over for your mom as well, but if I was in same situation I would like more definite plans of ownership transfer. However, I probably would not assume responsibility for my parents property in the area that is not well regarded, and can end up being huge liability and headache down the road. I would look to settle somewhere where schools are good, and my husband's commute is much easier, if possible. Good luck!

[DerFarm]

Rent goats and sheep. Seriously, 3 acres is a LOT of work to keep up, when what you really want is to keep the weeds down and the brush from taking over. In TN, quite a few of the houses have up to 5 acres. Mostly, the people there just keep a good sized yard kept up with flowers, lawn and such, and have two goats and a couple of sheep to keep the rest of the place under semi-control.

You should be able to find someone nearby who raises pygmy goats (easier to keep in place) and would be willing to rent them to you over the summer (you don't really need them in the winter). Don't get an intact male. They are bad news. Females and neutered males (withers) are fun and fun to be around. You'll also need sheep. Goats are browsers and will keep the brush and bushes under control. Sheep are grazers and will eat only grass.

I'm suggesting this as possibility to be explored to ease the physical component of your problem. There are all kinds of reasons why you can't do this, but it is something to think about.