minorities fitting in, in Middlesex (Boston, Newton: fit in, renting, find a job)

[maestramommy]

I've read a couple of threads here regarding the question of racism in Boston, or MA in general, and they have been very interesting. So my question isn't really regarding that per se. But I am wondering if it is difficult for minorities to fit in and find a community in Middlesex, from the stats I found on the homepage I see that most of the towns are overwhelmingly caucasian. No problem with that really. But as an Asian American I'm wondering if it will be hard for me to find friends to hang out with. I don't mean Asian friends, I mean people who I share other things in common. I'm currently a SAHM and will continue to be on for a a few more years. Winters are long in New England, and we are far from family, so it's important to me that we find a community. Neither of me nor Dh are particularly outgoing, and there are times when we keep to ourselves, but I'm active in an informal moms group out here, and hoping to find something like that wherever we end up. FTR, we are looking at NH as well as MA. It largely depends on the results of Dh's job search. I know nothing of New England or the culture, and though we've been living in L.A for the last 15 years, I'm originally from Chicago and Dh is from NJ.

Sorry to be long-winded, and would appreciate any advice or opinions.

[Valerie C]

Hi Maestramommy
I can't answer for Middlesex County (I only lived in Essex County when I lived in Mass) but here is a link that you might find helpful. Massachusetts Newcomers Clubs, Moms and Dads Organizations, Womens Clubs Directory Hooking up with one of these clubs may help you to find those with similar interests, and help with the isolation that every SAHM feels from time to time. BTW, good for you in making that choice, it's the most important job there is. You might have some laughs here: The Lighter Side of Life with Children this is part of a webpage that I created a long time ago (back when I was a SAHM as a matter of fact) and can't fix my rubber ducky pictures that aren't viewable anymore because the password is lost forever...

[Parsec]

Despite the high cost of housing here, I've noticed there are a lot of SAHMs in the Newton-Watertown area (I'm an Asian-American SAHD). There are actually more SAHM's than working moms in my church. I don't think you'll have a problem finding a mommies group -- I can even refer you to a few if you move out here (Asian or Caucasian, whatever you feel comfortable with). If you find a group w/similar interests, I don't think it matters what race you are. The only thing harder to get used to than the long winters is the bad Korean food! Fortunately, there are a couple Chinese restaurants that you'll find acceptable =)

[Patapsco]

Hi there!

If we end up anywhere near each other, we should have some playdates! I'm a SAHM, far from family, too. We're not sure where we'll be, yet.

Good luck!
-K

[maestramommy]

Thanks to Valerie for the links! And thanks for the encouraging replies. Now I'm hoping to move out there, because it'd be fun to meet you all. I've been watching the "Puffle" thread and it's quite touching that so many people she's never seen are pulling for her.

Boo on the bad Korean food, but can't have everything! I like good ethnic food of any race, and we're not exactly moving to the wilderness, so I'm sure we'll like what we get

[UrbanQuest]

There are great African American or Latina Moms you could interact with to. Asians shouldn't just try and befriend whites, it's very uncle tommish and frankly why I don't want any more immigration into this country. I am multiracial (half white) and my wife is Asian, so I pretty much get the scoop, so no bloviating please.

[maestramommy]

Originally Posted by UrbanQuest

There are great African American or Latina Moms you could interact with to. Asians shouldn't just try and befriend whites, it's very uncle tommish and frankly why I don't want any more immigration into this country. I am multiracial (half white) and my wife is Asian, so I pretty much get the scoop, so no bloviating please.

I think you misunderstood my post. I am very happy to find friends of any ethnic group. It's just that I am aware that Middlesex is predominantly caucasian, which is the only reason I appear to single them out in my question. I only wanted to know whether being non-white would make it harder to fit in. If Middlesex were predominantly Black or Latino I would be asking the same exact question. Please refrain from the name-calling because you are quite wrong in your "scoop."

[UrbanQuest]

Originally Posted by maestramommy

I think you misunderstood my post. I am very happy to find friends of any ethnic group. It's just that I am aware that Middlesex is predominantly caucasian, which is the only reason I appear to single them out in my question. I only wanted to know whether being non-white would make it harder to fit in. If Middlesex were predominantly Black or Latino I would be asking the same exact question. Please refrain from the name-calling because you are quite wrong in your "scoop."

Yeah, I guess the chances you would be moving into a neighborhood like that is high.. Didn't really mean to offend, just call it like I see it. Now it seems, my scoop is reduced to scooping up BS.

[maestramommy]

Originally Posted by UrbanQuest

Yeah, I guess the chances you would be moving into a neighborhood like that is high.. Didn't really mean to offend, just call it like I see it. Now it seems, my scoop is reduced to scooping up BS.

Okay, would you mind just saying clearly what you are thinking, because I really am not used to deciphering this kind of double talk. Are you actually implying that we are deliberately looking for Caucasian neighborhoods to move into? We are going where my Dh can find a job in his specialty, with good public schools as the first priority, and relatively affordable housing as another. We are NOT native New Englanders, and know very little about the demographics, or their history. We want to find a friendly neighborhood where we can settle down to raise our kids. And right now I'm hoping that you will not be one of the neighbors.

[UrbanQuest]

Originally Posted by maestramommy

Okay, would you mind just saying clearly what you are thinking, because I really am not used to deciphering this kind of double talk. Are you actually implying that we are deliberately looking for Caucasian neighborhoods to move into? We are going where my Dh can find a job in his specialty, with good public schools as the first priority, and relatively affordable housing as another. We are NOT native New Englanders, and know very little about the demographics, or their history. We want to find a friendly neighborhood where we can settle down to raise our kids. And right now I'm hoping that you will not be one of the neighbors.

Yes, I suppose when one looks for those aspects in a neighborhood (barring affordability), you would find yourself in Mayberry 99% of the time(sarcasm). I know what you are looking for, don't feel bad. Just don't assume I'm trying to code talk in this back and forth we seem to be having. I thought I was very direct in my initial post, that is probably why you are trying to outsmart me with your wiley superior intellect, which is why you are continuing to trade jabs with me (saving face?). This exchange is pointless, I am done and hope you find your perfect (no, I didn't mean white) place to live.