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Old 08-01-2013, 02:43 PM
 
24 posts, read 34,215 times
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Also, regarding commute, Rt.2 will get you into Boston from the Concord area with relative easy. You will hit some traffic during the morning rush around Alewife/Fresh Pond and the usual Storrow Drive traffic, but Rt.2 does take you a good ways into that area and you can branch off to wherever further south from there. Not like traffic on 90 or 95 (worse).
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Old 08-01-2013, 03:09 PM
 
613 posts, read 937,682 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SunnyHoney View Post
So, my family of 5 (mom, dad, 3 sons) is moving to the Boston area and I'm in desperate need of some help in finding the right place to settle.

Like most people on here, we have a laundry list of what our ideal home/neighborhood would be:

- Desiring a somewhat large home (~ 4000 to 5000 sq ft) with large lot size (at least an acre) in an upper-middle class area
- Can comfortably spend up to $1.5M on house, but would love to stay around $1M and pocket the rest !
- We'd love a newer home (built in the last 15 years) but would consider an updated older home if it has an open floor plan
- Looking for suburban aesthetics. Absolutely not interested in urban housing styles/neighborhoods, but not too rural either.
- Would like neighborhood to be "built-up". Though I hesitate to use the word gentrified, I'm actually okay with that concept and realize some people will interpret my desires as such.

What is not on my above list, but is of the UTMOST importance to us, is actually an intangible…and that's what I need your help with. It is really important to us to live around kind and considerate people. What suburb / neighborhood / area should we consider to find that? In which of the cities will find the people to be most kind?
When I first saw the $1.5M budget, I thought "fine", even in Lexington, maybe Newton or even Wellesley. Then I saw the "at least an acre" criteria. OK, maybe out in Concord, Carlisle, Wayland, Bedford, etc. Then I saw the "living around kind and considerate people" part. I've lived all over, & I still don't know where you find that last part.

I think Newton might be good for you. "Gentrified", it's that. So is Lexington. But I'll throw out a (possibly half-baked) theory: At $1M to $1.5M in the Boston 'Burbs, you've probably entered Yuppie-land. Which is fine, if that's what you want. I don't know about the "kind and considerate people" thing tho--people increasingly live in their own Yuppie Bubbles...... To be less negative tho, at your budget, I think if you modified a couple of your criteria, you could do quite well here.
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Old 08-01-2013, 03:12 PM
 
Location: Massachusetts
6,301 posts, read 9,588,263 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SoFresh99 View Post
I am just going to jump in here and say that I would advise you to avoid the towns that may be described as "working class" or "townie" like Braintree, Walpole, Canton, etc.
Everyone I know in Canton is upper middle class and certainly not racist in any way. The town itself does have a eerie quality I can't quite figure out.

Walpole, hmmmm, isn't that the high school that has the confederate flag for its sports teams? I am acquainted with a few people from there I found ultra-conservative towards women. There seems to be many makeshift churches and rundown trashy looking shopping areas between Walpole and Norwood and Walpole and Norfolk.

The people I know from Braintree are fairly townie, even the white collar people, the town is kind of gritty too, not terribly cheerful.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SoFresh99 View Post
Any place in greater Boston that has a recent history of being working class is going to serve up way more overt racism than something metrowest (sudbury, concord, acton, etc.) that is old and "yankee."
I drive past the schools on a regular basis in Acton where I live. All the time I see kids hanging out together from all races.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SoFresh99 View Post
There is nowhere where people will be sunny or nice or kind or even talk to you, for the most part, so you can cross that off the list now.
Sale on mean pills at the pharmacy in Ohio today?
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Old 08-01-2013, 03:53 PM
 
Location: Massachusetts
6,301 posts, read 9,588,263 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SunnyHoney View Post
Can you tell me a bit more about Natick?
As Parsec has said, Natick is very up and coming. The little downtown is getting new indie businesses and is scheduled for municipal improvements. It has a good friendly vibe. The mall is only a few miles away on route 9 for serious shopping. South Natick has an assortment of contemporary and well kept historic homes with nice acreage in your budget, a historic district, good hospital and a working farm. AA friends of mine love living there.
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Old 08-01-2013, 04:05 PM
 
Location: Needham, MA
8,525 posts, read 13,910,379 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SunnyHoney View Post
Can you tell me a bit more about Natick?
Natick is a nice town. It has a wide spectrum of areas, types of housing, and types of people. It's best known (by those who are not Natick residents) for it's large mall and shopping area called the "golden triangle." If you can't find what you want to buy in the triangle it probably doesn't exist. Really though, this is just one small part of town. At the opposite end of the spectrum is South Natick which is very green and woodsy. The town also has a nice town center with smaller, independent shops & restaurants and a lovely town green where you can find a lot of activities going on during the summer. A friend of mine lives in Natick just off of Rt. 135 and he loves to watch the Boston Marathon go through town every year. Plus, they just built a brand new high school and the town has decent access to Boston by train and car.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SunnyHoney View Post
Yes, they both seemed a farther out than I had intended to consider, but I kept Wrentham on my radar just because it was a little closer to Dedham. This was before knowing the scoop on the commutes, though. It might not be a viable option after all.
Personally, if I were in your shoes I wouldn't pick Wrentham. Nothing against Wrentham, but commuting stinks and your budget will allow you to live in a nice town close to your husband's office.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SoFresh99 View Post
I am just going to jump in here and say that I would advise you to avoid the towns that may be described as "working class" or "townie" like Braintree, Walpole, Canton, etc. Any place in greater Boston that has a recent history of being working class is going to serve up way more overt racism than something metrowest (sudbury, concord, acton, etc.) that is old and "yankee." Which is not to say they won't be racist, just that they'll have the good manners not to show it. Milton is a non-metrowest exception due to it's history as a middle/upper class black friendly suburb but I think Milton is on the decline and less desireable than it once was.

There is nowhere where people will be sunny or nice or kind or even talk to you, for the most part, so you can cross that off the list now. Sudbury has the most down-to-earth Boston exiles as it has always been the most affordable decent-schooled metrowest suburb so folks will tend to be nicer to one another there since there is less of "we've lived here 8 generations and we aren't interested in making new friends" vibe. Lexington would be fine as well but definitely a more vanity pressured "keeping up with the joneses" environment than Lincoln, Sudbury or Concord.
Wow! You seem to have woken up on the wrong side of the bed today.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GraceT View Post
Also, regarding commute, Rt.2 will get you into Boston from the Concord area with relative easy. You will hit some traffic during the morning rush around Alewife/Fresh Pond and the usual Storrow Drive traffic, but Rt.2 does take you a good ways into that area and you can branch off to wherever further south from there. Not like traffic on 90 or 95 (worse).
I think it's debatable which is the worse commute: Rt 2 or I90. I think I90 gets a bad rap because it's more congested if you have to get on before the toll plaza in Weston. If you're far east enough you can get on after that and avoid the back up the toll plaza causes. It's just like if you're too far west on Rt 2 it's more of a local road than a highway at that point.

Quote:
Originally Posted by WoodyWW View Post
When I first saw the $1.5M budget, I thought "fine", even in Lexington, maybe Newton or even Wellesley. Then I saw the "at least an acre" criteria. OK, maybe out in Concord, Carlisle, Wayland, Bedford, etc. Then I saw the "living around kind and considerate people" part. I've lived all over, & I still don't know where you find that last part.
I agree. It's tough to find the OP's entire wish list in one place. Most people I find have a wish list and know they will not be able to get every single little thing on it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 495neighbor View Post
Everyone I know in Canton is upper middle class and certainly not racist in any way. The town itself does have a eerie quality I can't quite figure out.

Walpole, hmmmm, isn't that the high school that has the confederate flag for its sports teams? I am acquainted with a few people from there I found ultra-conservative towards women. There seems to be many makeshift churches and rundown trashy looking shopping areas between Walpole and Norwood and Walpole and Norfolk.
I know TONS of people who live in Canton. All of them are lovely people. I don't think the Walpole high school's mascot is really relevant. Their mascot is the Rebels or something like that not the Klu Klux Klansmen.
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Old 08-01-2013, 04:48 PM
 
387 posts, read 912,132 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MikePRU View Post
Their mascot is the Rebels or something like that not the Klu Klux Klansmen.
??? Confederate flags are offensive in the South, but I can at least understand *some* of the psychology behind them. What are people in Massachusetts thinking? In Walpole, Rebels’ pride still sparks a fight - The Boston Globe

Any town that places attachment to a high school mascot over the feelings of actual people is not a welcoming environment.
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Old 08-01-2013, 04:58 PM
 
42 posts, read 110,482 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SoFresh99 View Post
I am just going to jump in here and say that I would advise you to avoid the towns that may be described as "working class" or "townie" like Braintree, Walpole, Canton, etc. Any place in greater Boston that has a recent history of being working class is going to serve up way more overt racism than something

There is nowhere where people will be sunny or nice or kind or even talk to you, for the most part, so you can cross that off the list now.
Thanks, SoFresh99. Can you give me some examples of the overt racism you've witnessed or heard of. I'm gathering from you post, that you don't feel it was a once or twice isolated thing, but a part of the culture is those places, right? Can you expound on that?

Quote:
Originally Posted by WoodyWW View Post
When I first saw the $1.5M budget, I thought "fine", even in Lexington, maybe Newton or even Wellesley. Then I saw the "at least an acre" criteria. OK, maybe out in Concord, Carlisle, Wayland, Bedford, etc. Then I saw the "living around kind and considerate people" part. I've lived all over, & I still don't know where you find that last part.

I think Newton might be good for you. "Gentrified", it's that. So is Lexington. But I'll throw out a (possibly half-baked) theory: At $1M to $1.5M in the Boston 'Burbs, you've probably entered Yuppie-land. Which is fine, if that's what you want. I don't know about the "kind and considerate people" thing tho--people increasingly live in their own Yuppie Bubbles...... To be less negative tho, at your budget, I think if you modified a couple of your criteria, you could do quite well here.
Don't get me wrong, if I can get something close to what I want at a lower cost, I'd love that. I don't need to spend the $1.5M, we're just coming from a higher cost of living area, so we're comfortable to spending up to that amount. I'm quite flexible on many of my criteria. The list mentions some "ideals", and even still, is pretty flexible as it reads. I'd definitely be open to less than an acre, as long as I don't feel cramped up against my neighbors and my kids have lots of green yard space because that is what they're accustomed to. And the house could be even be a lesser square footage if it doesn't FEEL "too small" because with 3 boys "bouncing off of walls" is a real phenomenon! Those walls need to be far enough apart that I can at least duck before I get knocked in the head. We once lived temporarily in Manhattan 2 bedroom (which was spacious by NYC standards) and I nearly went stir crazy after just 1 month!

I'd consider my husband and I to be somewhat "yuppie", so I don't really mind too much being around other yups. That term for me hasn't necessarily had a negative connotation. Yuppies across the country aren't all the same, in many of the places we've lived the they/we are very down-to-earth and not snobs at all. I've noticed when we moved east, and now further northeast, those who'd be considered yuppies are quite snobbish and even out-right ugly with their rudeness. (I have theories on why that may be, but that's a different discussion). But, that's where my dilemma lies. That's why I came out of lurking around the threads and finally posted my own on this forum. I'm in awe and resistant to accept that ALL the yuppies here are socially inept. But.... so far in CT, people in from our economic class and up do so much credential/name-dropping. And even where there's not necessarily name dropping, I've found far too many people in the northeast overtly sum you up based on your income, or title, or appearance of wealth, and then decide if you are worthy of respect (not kindness or attention but respect) based on that summation. Cool towards you if you pass the test, and blatantly disrespectful if you don't. And still....I've found my niche here, with some really sweet, loving friends. And I'd like to think that to a certain degree, since I'm a pretty influential personality-type, I've actually created that niche.

So I guess I'm encouraged because many of the replies here name places where, at least the residents of those places think, people are nice. But then that's countered by the last 2 posts (and some remarks I've heard elsewhere) that no such place exists in Boston metro. I see how both realities can be true. Each of our experiences are different and are just that: our own experiences.

@WoodyWW, I'm curious to know what you think is behind the fact that no such place exists? In your opinion, is that just part of the culture up there?

Either way, like I said, I consider myself strong enough to influence my surroundings (I've done it before and can do it again) So look out Boston...here I come, and I'm bringing a whole lotta good energy!
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Old 08-01-2013, 05:09 PM
 
42 posts, read 110,482 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 495neighbor View Post
As Parsec has said, Natick is very up and coming. AA friends of mine love living there.
If I end up in Natick, you'll have to introduce me so at least I'll know one other Black family, ok?

Quote:
Originally Posted by donewithpretty View Post
Any town that places attachment to a high school mascot over the feelings of actual people is not a welcoming environment.
Well said, @donewithpretty!
That's the exact sentiment I'm trying to articulate when I say "kindness". I don't mean a cheesy, goofy, Mayberry-like niceness. I just mean common decency, mutual respect, and being considerate of people not because you HAVE to by law but because you WANT.
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Old 08-01-2013, 05:54 PM
 
Location: SLC, UT
1,571 posts, read 2,804,318 times
Reputation: 3919
Quote:
Originally Posted by donewithpretty View Post
??? Confederate flags are offensive in the South, but I can at least understand *some* of the psychology behind them. What are people in Massachusetts thinking? In Walpole, Rebels’ pride still sparks a fight - The Boston Globe

Any town that places attachment to a high school mascot over the feelings of actual people is not a welcoming environment.
I agree, but mascots are plenty offensive in pro sports, too. And yet I doubt that every single city with a team that has an offensive name and/or mascot and/or logo would be dubbed an unwelcoming environment (if they were by the majority of people, then they'd change their names/mascots/logos).

Kansas City (Chiefs)
Cleveland (Indians)
Washington DC (Redskins)
Atlanta (Braves)

and many, many, many more.
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Old 08-01-2013, 05:59 PM
 
387 posts, read 912,132 times
Reputation: 523
SunnyHoney, have you looked at Milton at all? It's right next to Dedham and has absolutely stunning houses in your price range. (If I had your budget, I would snap one up, no question.) The area of Milton right next to Mattapan can be questionable, but Milton overall is one of the safest towns in the area. It often makes Money Magazine's Best Places list.

Milton also has great public schools, a famous private school (Milton Academy), plus one of the more diverse populations in the Boston burbs. Here's the breakdown, per City-Data:

Quote:
White alone - 20,489 (75.9%)
Black alone - 3,705 (13.7%)
Asian alone - 1,111 (4.1%)
Hispanic - 881 (3.3%)
Two or more races - 604 (2.2%)
Other race alone - 178 (0.7%)
American Indian alone - 30 (0.1%)
Native Hawaiian and Other Pacific Islander alone - 5 (0.02%)

Source: www.city-data.com/city/Milton-Massachusetts.html
As for commuting, Milton is close to I-93 and I-95, public transit, plus Rte. 3 for trips to the Cape. As a side note, Martha's Vineyard is the vacation spot of choice for some of the wealthiest black families in the world: Oak Bluffs, Mass.: A Place in the Sun

I know you're open to living in a 97% white town, but I just wanted to point out that that isn't your only option for an upper-middle-class town up here. A lot of people (myself included) who want a welcoming town insist that it embrace diversity in some form. Why settle?
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