Plymouth County (South Shore) - Openness to Iranian family as neighbor? (Boston: transplants, house prices)

[caervel]

I don't wish to make this an inflammatory thread, but I have a serious question that hopefully will get some frank answers.

My girlfriend is Iranian, as is her mother. Both have their green cards, and my girlfriend has lived in the U.S. (Boston, Kentucky, and Boston again) for the past 10 years. She hates the current Iranian government (although she has hopes for the new president being able to effect some change for the better). Her religious affiliation is best described as "believes there is probably a God out there but she doesn't consider him/her a 'personal God'. She is most definitely not Muslim.

I consider myself a very strong Agnostic/Athiest. My mother is a strong Christian, some of my oldest friends and newest good friends are also strong Christians. Neither my girlfriend or I have any problems with religious folks, but we don't want to be preached to and we won't "preach" to anyone either. I however am generally happy to debate in respectful fashions, but I have little interest in converting anyone from something that makes them a better person and/or gives them peace and happiness.

I work on Cape Cod and she works in the Boston area. Having gotten serious, we are planning to buy a house together in between to allow both of us an easier commute than moving to either of our current areas. Having visited a number of places, the Plymouth area, especially the town itself and the South Shore seems to meet our needs the best of any area in Massachusetts.

So, the delicate, but serious question I have:

Where in the Plymouth/South Shore area would you suggest we move to, or not move to? I won't be drawn into a political argument and I would prefer that even if posters have very strong opinions, that they express the answers respectfully and simply. I don't need to know why you personally don't want us moving next to you. I only need to know that you don't. I would prefer to find a place where our presence will be accepted and where we could invite you over for a BBQ or be invited over, and where our kids (eventually) and yours could play together, and where we could be trusted to help you if it is ever needed and where we could expect the same.

Thank you in advance.

[tribechamy]

Where in the Boston area does your girlfriend work? (i.e. is she working in Quincy, Boston, or Waltham?) For that matter, where on the Cape do you work? That would probably help narrow down a good midpoint (which for commuting may be different time-wise than it would be distance-wise)

I think if your girlfriend could handle Kentucky she can probably handle most anywhere in the greater Boston area. If you're really worried - and yes, the south shore in spots can be way more homogenously white bread - stick to city-ish areas with a greater amount of people and potentially a more diverse population. Or stick to, for back of a better word, yuppy towns.

That being said I think you'll find that people are pretty accepting around here and you might be preparing for a fight you'll never find. Just accept that there are a lot of people on the south shore that are Christian (mostly Catholic) - not that they'll try to convert you or whatever, just that social events and things tend to focus that way more so than closer to Boston. That might be more of an issue if you have kids and 99% of the kids in your child's class are going to see Santa at the community center, etc.

[caervel]

We've begun looking at houses, and each house we like we use google maps to figure out distances at different times and days of the week, especially when we would normally be traveling to and from work.

While I would prefer more diversity, that isn't as important to me as tolerance and willingness to treat people as people first, and nationalities/races/gender last. While she was indeed in Kentucky for awhile, it was as a student and she didn't go out much.

I'm not really preparing for a fight, I'm just trying to get a bit of the lay of the land. If however there are people who really would have a problem with us next door to them, it's good to find out now! No one in Massachusetts so far has so much as blinked when she's given her nationality to them, so you're right that it likely won't be much of an issue. Just checking...

I'm very used to being around Christians. I spent most of my childhood in Catholic private schools and even High School. And Santa isn't really a 'Christian' figure as far as I'm concerned.

[jayrandom]

I don't think it will be an issue. Neighbors likely won't guess Iranian and even if they do I don't think anyone will care. There could be occasional inappropriate question, but that's probably going to be it.

You may get the cold should from your neighbors at first (where at first can be between 1 month and 20 years), but it won't be because your neighbors hate Iranians it will be because they're New Englanders and that's the way it is around here. It's not like the South, people are slow to warm up but not judgmental.

[tribechamy]

The reason I mentioned diversity is because it tolerance usually (admittedly not always) tends to go hand in hand with it. Honestly I think you'd have to go to a really isolated area to find someone who wouldn't want to live next to you because your girlfriend is Iranian, especially with so many people of Iranian nationality living in the Boston area.

The south shore isn't as cosmopolitan but I know in the Quincy/Braintree/Randolph area you see women wearing headscarves or even niqabs and nobody seems to blink. Move to an upscale place like Hingham or Norwell and the minivan moms will probably be politely curious if they even notice ethnicity at all. If you are really worried I'd stick to areas with other recent transplants or young people. This really might be one of those neighbor-specific things. I had a conversation with an African American woman who moved to a particularly white south shore suburb and the only problem she had was with an older guy in her neighborhood who made a comment about her dreads or something. Eventually they got along - or maybe he moved - either way, she was unconcerned, her other neighbors were great.

As long as you don't have a yappy dog or keep rusty cars on blocks in your yard, you should be ok.

[pennyone]

You would be very welcomed in Quincy, as it is a very diverse and open city. We have many people from around the world here, and we have a variety of neighborhoods to suit every taste, family size and income level. There are many Muslim women in Quincy, and nobody seem to care one bit. I would be more concern about how nice you keep your yard over any kind of religion, or lack of religion you have. I personally find zealously religious people tiresome, but that's just me.

[CaseyB]

Since she's not a muslim, I don't think she'd have any trouble.

[ladyalicemore]

Anyone can get a bad apple as a neighbor, but I don't see it as a problem in SE Mass, though I have never lived in Plymouth. I am looking at Plymouth myself and did see that its population is unusually homogenous and also that it is the largest and demographically "youngest" town in MA, or was 2 yrs ago when I looked.

To me that sounds potentially conservative, but not decisively. Have you looked into the Bridgewaters or Braintree?

Though they are not close to the Cape. You could also look into Duxbury, but that is expensive. Duxbury has a great school system that would be welcoming to any children you might decide to have. It's a bit staid for a young couple, though--and maybe pricey.

Bourne has good house prices right now, but they are related to H. Sandy. Maybe check it out and see what you think but check out wind coverage and flooding if you like something near the water.

[Mordi]

nobody will care that they are iranian.

unless she is a good cook. they they will be over every week for kebabs and hummus

[baystater]

Originally Posted by jayrandom

I don't think it will be an issue. Neighbors likely won't guess Iranian and even if they do I don't think anyone will care. There could be occasional inappropriate question, but that's probably going to be it.

You may get the cold should from your neighbors at first (where at first can be between 1 month and 20 years), but it won't be because your neighbors hate Iranians it will be because they're New Englanders and that's the way it is around here. It's not like the South, people are slow to warm up but not judgmental.

Yep. You nailed it. That is exactly right. Just to add. Once New Englanders warm up to you and you've earn their trust....you'll get "real" friends that are more than skin deep.