Hingham's not working for me anymore... (Boston, Cambridge: neighborhoods, high school, to live)

[masshawk]

Originally Posted by jan0105

I totally disagree with you about Lexington. Lexington is like Hingham on steroids, IMO.

My perception might be outdated by now. That's disappointing to hear.

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by masshawk

Belmont is a more of a mix – there is a flashy, snobby crowd, but also a crowd that leans crunchier and nerdier. This was 20 years ago but I remember the high school cliques being pretty loose, and clothes and material possessions not having much to do with popularity.

This is true at least. I graduated in 90, and while there were clicks, there was TONS of overlap and moving back and forth between them. Not rigid at all, and fashion never came to my mind.

[hingham-x]

Originally Posted by MrLinderman

My gut said something was amiss when they claimed to be working class folk and in the very same post list 1 million dollar homes they were looking at.

My husband and I grew up middle class. We went off and pursued careers we loved and we’ve done okay by some standards, but everything is relative. We live in a great place, but we spend a large percentage of our income on housing, by choice. We are homebodies. We read, watch documentaries, fix things.

Let me give you an actual example of what I’m running into in Hingham.

The other night I was with a group here and they invited me to join them for a girls spa weekend. Sounds like fun. Turns out they are all going to Canyon Ranch. “Lots of fun and very affordable”. How much? "$3900. for 4 nights, plus your spa treatments".

If I was to drop four grand, I would probably give it to my daughter for her student loans or buy new hearing aids for my mother. I might go away with my friends on a whim, but my budget would be more like $1000. Even if someone gave me $4k that would never be how I would spend it.

I was with a group of couple friends and we all went to a local restaurant bar after an event one evening. After a while there I realized the place was empty except for our large group. I glanced toward the kitchen area and saw a whole group of exhausted looking employees waiting for us to leave.

“Guys, we have to go! This place is closing now. Look, we are keeping these people from going home”. The men looked at the workers and said, “F*** them! They can wait”. The others all agreed and called the bartender for another round. One of the wives turned to me and said, “Why do you worry about stupid things like that? You waste a lot of energy”. I felt uncomfortable. I didn’t say anything else.

This is they type of thing I am constantly experiencing in Hingham. I feel different than other people here. As we have aged and everyone has made a lot of money I notice it more and more.

[hingham-x]

Originally Posted by masshawk

I agree there’s an element of “keeping up” in every affluent town, but there’s a marked difference in how that manifests itself and I think some would fit OP better than others.

In places like Concord, Lincoln, or Lexington people are less likely to emphasize the “conspicuous” side of conspicuous consumption (live in an older house, drive 10-year-old cars, wear normal clothes) and are more likely to spend their money on education- or experience- related things: tutors, special camps, adventure trips, foreign aid trips or Habitat for Humanity, supporting music and the arts, top-of-the-line equipment or lessons for private hobbies and interests. It would still be tough on a middle class or working class person who felt like they couldn’t keep up with all that (part of why I chose Waltham, besides just plain affordability), but there’s a clear difference in the values driving it. Volunteering is common. Introverted, nerdy, and green would fit right in there. I’ve also found acceptance of differences to be a strong value in those towns, at least differences you’re born with. They can be a little intolerant of certain mindsets and sometimes geographically snobby.

Agreed, social media makes being obnoxious really easy. Maybe not what they're "really like" but sometimes bringing out someone's more obnoxious side. And as the saying goes, "Don't compare someone else's highlight reel to your blooper tape."

Thank you - this describes me exactly. I am more likely to pay for grad school than buy a boat to drink away my summer days in the blaring sun burning hundreds of dollars in gas all the while. I do like sailing but grad school still wins.

I HATE to give up what I have here but I almost can't stand it any more.

[jan0105]

Honestly it sounds like you need better friends! There are plenty of non a-holes here. No one I know would talk trash about kitchen staff

[Whatsnext75]

Well seems like many people in hingham can afford it all. The can afford canyon ranch weekends, grad school for their kids and a boat. They are rich and the less rich in hingham probably end up feeling inadequate if they are insecure. It's a bit silly really.

[jan0105]

Originally Posted by Whatsnext75

Well seems like many people in hingham can afford it all. The can afford canyon ranch weekends, grad school for their kids and a boat. They are rich and the less rich in hingham probably end up feeling inadequate if they are insecure. It's a bit silly really.

Plenty of people in Hingham can't afford a boat or to drop $4000 on Canyon Ranch (myself included). There's plenty of nonsense here but I'm starting to feel defensive! There are lots of non-1%ers here, promise.

[hingham-x]

Originally Posted by Whatsnext75

Well seems like many people in hingham can afford it all. The can afford canyon ranch weekends, grad school for their kids and a boat. They are rich and the less rich in hingham probably end up feeling inadequate if they are insecure. It's a bit silly really.

Lots of money, no class.

[jan0105]

Owning a boat and being able/having the desire to go to an expensive spa doesn't mean people have no class.

[hingham-x]

Discounting other people 'is a bit silly really'? Are those the values I want my kids to have?