Hingham's not working for me anymore... (Boston, Milton: move, rich, vehicle)

[MrLinderman]

Originally Posted by NewfieMama

I can see the appeal of Bear Cove Park because it's paved, which is great when it's really muddy or snowy. Plus, for us (since we owned newfoundlands), it was nice that there was access to the water so they can swim. But I stopped going because even though our dogs were well-trained, I was always nervous about them accidentally running into a child or a stroller. I used to take our boys out at lunch during the weekdays, but there were a lot of moms meeting to walk around with their strollers and that made me a little nervous given that we have giant dogs. On weekends there are always kids on bikes/scooters and it can get pretty busy. Once a lab ran up to one of my dogs (mine were leashed because it was busy) and knocked over a kid on a scooter--the kid was fine, but I felt bad for him. I pretty much stuck with stodder's neck because the water access was nice. And Wompatuck if I needed a paved trail. Plus now that I'm in Norwell I like Norris or Jacob's Pond.

It's really a sticky situation. It's a combination of bad owners with poorly trained dogs, inattentive parents on their phones, and a lot of dogs natural desire to run and explore. Owners are a big problem, yeah, but even the most well-trained dog has its moments.

My princess (a puggle...) pretty much stays at Stodder's neck just because there's a lot less non-dog traffic.

[xo_kizzy_xo]

We take our huskies to Stoddard's every so often but never to Bare Cove because of that whole non-leash/other people issue. My boys are generally well behaved, but they're dogs, you know? They're very curious and very friendly...and not everybody is a dog lover. I certainly get that. They necessarily don't.

NewfieMama, they allow dogs at Jacob's Pond? I have family in the area and I've never known that. Wow.

[NewfieMama]

Yep! There are trails and while I keep my dogs leashed if there are people fishing or getting situated with their kayaks on the dock, once you're deeper in the trails, all the dogs seem to be off leash. It's never busy there, so I think people tend to just keep their dogs off leash. Not sure if the rule is to keep them leashed...

[nunesvetpath]

This

Originally Posted by Partial Observer

What you have described in Hingham is precisely what every City-Data poster with a $600K+ budget is looking for in a Massachusetts town (although they'd probably use euphemisms like "top schools" and "affluent," instead of "conspicuous consumption").

To find what you're looking for in another town, you would have to sacrifice virtually everything that binds the Hinghams, Wellesleys, Westons, Southboroughs, etc., together in yuppy solidarity. The people who value parks, good schools, large homes, and educated neighbors are the same people who spend their ample funds on luxury SUVs, European vacations, and personal trainers to whip them into "Facebook selfie" shape. To get away from that stuff, you will have to find a town where people simply cannot afford it. I see that two people have recommended Concord already. It certainly checks the "history" and "nature" boxes, but in what universe is Concord considered a respite from the snobbery that the OP has described?

and this

Originally Posted by Partial Observer

Careful - I think you just described a fair number of OPs who come to the Massachusetts forum looking for advice:

- Stay-at-home-mom to two or three school-aged children
- Husband needs to commute to Lexington/Westborough/Boston/[insert place here]
- Great schools and "community feel" are very important [Read: "Where can we find people exactly like us?"]
- Budget is $800K-1.2M, but we could go higher for the right spot
- We've been looking, but can't seem to find anything suitable in our price range

That's basically the template for three of the next five threads you'll see in this forum. Maybe we should direct them to Hingham if Belmont and Arlington don't work out?

Seriously, so what is it with people with those sort of questions in this forum that particularly bothers you?
I'm moving to the area and my questions were very similar to the ones you are stereotyping, yet I feel like I hardly fit your perceived judgment. I'm not taking anything personally as you may have not even seen my thread anyway, but I just think many others would be unfairly labeled by such comments, one can never generalize. People come to this forum for help and politeness and willingness to help each other should always prevail over judgment.

[hingham-x]

We judge people for judging people because judging people is just wrong.

I think Partial Observer was just stating an observation.

'…Statistically, we have neighbors who are like ourselves in several socio-economic particulars - skin color, income level, life stage, family size, and so on - without ever needing to relate to them beyond the polite exchange of cliched platitudes. And so long as nothing upsets the balance of life in postmodern neighborhoods, the people living in them can pretend that the statistically significant relationships between them are actually socially significant. They are held together by the bonds of consumerism. This could be called "Yuppie Solidarity".' - The City Cultures Reader, by Malcolm Miles.

[hingham-x]

This Chicago city data post touches on the issue...What's with the term "yuppie"? - SkyscraperCity

[Partial Observer]

Originally Posted by nunesvetpath

I'm not taking anything personally as you may have not even seen my thread anyway, but I just think many others would be unfairly labeled by such comments, one can never generalize. People come to this forum for help and politeness and willingness to help each other should always prevail over judgment.

And yet, every poster who wants to know about a particular town is inviting those very same generalizations. They're taking a group of individuals and trying to distill them into a homogenous blob of common characteristics: e.g., liberal, crunchy, educated, affluent, etc. That approach is a necessary evil to some extent, because we can't access or even process the amount of information we'd need to make a fully informed decision. So we develop heuristics that help us filter all that data - we generalize. Hingham is snobby. Concord is more liberal, and less flashy. Shrewsbury is divided into "good" and "bad" sections. The list goes on... And behind all of those generalizations, you'll find people who drew conclusions from a limited amount of data.

The point is, we don't get to come here and declare that we're special snowflakes that defy stereotypes, while at the same time asking people to paint entire communities with a broad brush so that we can rank them. Whether we like it or not, what we seek in a town says more about us than the town.

[hingham-x]

Originally Posted by Partial Observer

Whether we like it or not, what we seek in a town says more about us than the town.

"Common sense suggests that if no one ever judged other people, there would be no real human community." Lewis B. Smedes

This thread has helped me enormously to identify what issues I have with my town at the moment, to evaluate what it is that drew me here and held me here for so long, and what I am not willing to give up in order to eliminate some of the characteristics of the locals that I find annoying of irritating in some way. The posters have generously shared their broad base of experience and exposure to other towns that I don't possess and have helped paint the big picture for me so I can make an informed decision as to what my next move will be at this stage of my life. A move that will have a ripple effect on a number of other people as well, including family, extended family, friends, neighbors, and employees.

In addition, the process of evaluating a town and it's community cannot be done without evaluating yourself and your own motivation for doing so. If you have read through the posts you may have noticed where I came to observe the collision point of pre-empty nest syndrome within myself, a desire to downsize to some degree, and perhaps address being outspent by newcomers, (younger & richer), bringing in huge infusions of cash. Those buying up the $1.8 houses around me and then adding another $1 million in renovations and landscaping. And, this is usually not their only home. Many have 2-3 more, and I'm not talking 'summer camp'. Nantucket with a view.

In the process of judging others as snobs, those who think they are socially superior for whatever reason, generally income, I have self-identified as a snob because I am judging them. Cute, local coffee shops don't really do it for me. I'm a one trick pony when it comes to coffee and that pony is Starbucks. In the end, you need to know yourself, find your own tribe, and live your life as authentically as possible in a town that feels right for you. I'm extremely grateful for the help and while the process is ongoing, as I visit different towns to see how they feel to me, I have made a lot of progress since the discussion began. My eyes are wide open and I am alert now because of the shared experience of others.

[nunesvetpath]

Originally Posted by Partial Observer

The point is, we don't get to come here and declare that we're special snowflakes that defy stereotypes, while at the same time asking people to paint entire communities with a broad brush so that we can rank them. Whether we like it or not, what we seek in a town says more about us than the town.

You may say so but yet missed so much on the attributes created by your perception that can't help it but wonder how many others are defying it.

[hingham-x]

One of my daughter's close Hingham friends turned 16 this weekend. Her parents bought her a 2016 Lexus SUV.