Did I move to the wrong town? (Boston, Lowell: 2013, neighborhood)

[robr2]

Originally Posted by ECPCVC

It's definitely not true, but our former elementary school was 50% Asian/Indian. That's not my estimate, that was actually the school info. The town itself is less. You can look up the stats. I'd say 25-35% if I had to guess.

That being said, the Asian people I met were just as nice as anyone else. I don't see cultural differences as the reason for the lack of friendliness there. It transcends ethnicity

Lexington demographics are:

76% White
19% Asian/Indian
1.5% Black
rest small quantities.

Once the OP and their kids get involved in activities, they will get to know people. Lexington is a professional town with many two income families hence social time is often geared around their kids. My son was involved with a youth activity in Lexington and we got to know many people of different races and religions. We do socialize outside of that activity but it isn't like everyone is the best of friends.

[snatale1]

Originally Posted by SCHOOLSEEKERMA

Hello! After reading many posts on "Moving to MA", "Please tell me the best School system", "Family neighborhood, good schools, easy commute etc..... Yes! We all want that! and notice I didn't add affordable, it would be asking too much! Sorry my sarcasm!
OK. We decided to give a try to Lexington because all the good things we heard (mostly about the schools). Luckily I am renting and can make a change of town if needed. Although, I would feel bad for the kids for moving them around.
Here are my first impressions of Lexington and some town that I "researched and considered". You might be able to hear my frustration on the post, I do not mean to offend anyone or any class (culturally or religion) let me know if I am wrong... reason why I am here:

Lexington: Heavy Asian Community (Indian, Chinese, Japanese), that's is great! Very smart folks and very involved at the school system, BUT they keep within their ethnic groups and it is very difficult to make friends in town... as white is a minority... you get the good school, but no friends.

Weston/Wellesley: Heavy Jewish, also keep their groups within themselves.... so even though they are not as diverse than Lexington, they group within their religion. Awesome schools.

Hingham/Cohasset: No diversity, easy commute to Boston by ferry. Snob town with OK school system. They are very concern with sports and the girls to be cheerleaders.

I don't know North Shore. Just afraid of long Boston Commute.

About us: Younger couple (late 20s) with kids, white, looking for good school system, big cooks and foodie, not religious, just want to feel included in the community, regarding race and religion beliefs...

Sooooooo Lexington, Weston, Wellesley, Hingham, Cohassett...... hmmmmm whats the similarity.... GOT IT! Every single town you listed is a douchey snob I'm richer than you town, think THAT has something to do with it? Pick normal middle to upper middle class towns and you won't have those issues.

BEFORE the tear wagon comes around, YES I KNOW there are normal people in those towns too, so if YOU are one of them, hats off to you, I'm not talking about YOU but let's be realistic shall we?

[ladyalicemore]

I grew up in Mass but don't live there now. I live in Boca Raton, and I no longer, ever again, wish to live in an affluent community. I am just there for my job, and I am not much for driving. I live close to where I work. I super dislike most of my neighbors, esp. the flippers who care only about lawns and school scores. Meanwhile, I don't ever see them working with their kids on their school work. Far too important for that--leave it to the teachers. And their overflowing classrooms.

I kind of agree that super-affluent communities are not correlated with child success, however the schools are rated. Could be wrong though. My sense, as a teacher of college age students, is that kids are spoiled by any early sense of entitlement. They have to work in life. We all do.

[Parsec]

Originally Posted by civis

I'd say if you are white stay away from towns with heavy Asian population, especially Indian, if not you, your children will have hard time to fit in. Asians don't like non-Asians, even though rarely show this openly.
Based on my personal experience.

This goes the other way too not just in the US but in Europe and pretty much all over the world. Some well known examples of racism in Europe is against Indians in the UK or against the Chinese in France, except it's worse there because racism is very open and even accepted in their culture.

[semiurbanite]

Originally Posted by ladyalicemore

I kind of agree that super-affluent communities are not correlated with child success, however the schools are rated. Could be wrong though.

The data would suggest you could be wrong - kids from households with financial resources have higher test scoring regardless of the school they attend. Is it the actual school making this happen? No, it's the resources available to the student at home.

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by Peabody99

I moved to Stow almost 3 years ago and cannot tell you how welcoming everyone in the neighborhood was and still is! Neighbors came with wine, flowers and their phone numbers when we moved in! I highly recommend you look into neighborhoods if you are super stressed at making friends and not country roads where you could feel isolated.

Funny that town came up, I have a married friend with two young kids (one pre school, one first grade) leaving Stow and one reason was the lack of friendliness and the, what she called, stepford wives clique in so much of the town. They feel like outcasts. She particularly hates things like the back to school nights and the snobbishness (my words, hers were more descriptive) of so many of the moms in the town.

I know they're looking to Maynard, but not sure where else. They'd like to go back to VT, but can't due to jobs.

[ResearchMom]

It is absolutely crucial to make facebook and texting your main two tools to gain a circle of your initial "friends". It helps to start by joining as many town based activities as possible (soccer, town pool, kiddie tennis - anywhere where you sit and wait), going to story time at the library regularly, and of course going to the playgrounds. As soon as your kid plays with another kid he/she likes, be friendly to the other kid's parent and just chat away about the kids. Everyone loves to talk about their kids. Then very casually take out your phone, and ask if you could connect and exchange your info (of course only if you care to make that connection). Then look them up on facebook and start linking with others (neighbors, teachers, familiar faces, local shops). Be the first one to suggest a playdate. Be involved. It will flow from there. Once school really kicks in, you'll have a few solid people you can meet up with. Don't be desperate, this takes time.

Don't have any preconceived notions about their race, if they care, and what they think of YOU. Many times the people who seemed withdrawn to me at first, were actually the ones who turned out to be the sweetest and warmest, once time did its thing. Many times it can be only about the kids. No need to be "friends", just make memories for the kids. You only really need to get to know a few nice people, you don't need to be friends with the whole village.

Also, research your own stuff. It helps to ask for suggestions, but it also helps to be super informed. Tour the preschools, sign up for free trials at various activities (karate/tae-kwon-do for example), look for something you feel happy about. It's true hard work, you have to be organized and focused, nothing and no one will come to you on its own. People are too busy. Don't worry, in no time you'll be the one helping out a new parent, you'll see. There is no need to move :-)

[BostonBornMassMade]

Originally Posted by MikePRU

5 to 6% of the population is heavy?

https://www.census.gov/quickfacts/ta.../2501735215,00
19.9% of the population of Lexington was asian as of 2010.

Its Asian population has been growing rapidly. I'd say its about 25% Asian as of 2016.


Enrollment Data (2013-14) - Lexington (01550000)
As of the 2015-2016 school year 35.1% of the school district is Asian, 51.8% is white.

People have to stop posting totally false statistics in C-D. Where you got 5-6% Asian for Lexington i have no idea...

[A02]

ResearchMom's advice above is HUGE - especially for incoming families where the kids are already old enough for pre-school or above. This is my take on Wellesley - can't comment on other towns because I don't live there. We moved in when our first child was 3.

1. I see very little religious divide. Sure it's there, but it's not something that defines the town, the friends you make, etc. You will encounter this in any town really. A Jewish school is a Jewish school. My son's pre-school celebrated every religious holiday and invited parents to come in and talk about what it means to them and how they celebrate if they wanted. Heck, for Cinco de Mayo, a mother came in and talked to the school about what it really was about.

2. If anything, groups do form... but a lot of times we found it was because when babies were born, the parents took advantage of the Wellesley Mothers Forum (or similar) and bonded at play-dates, working mothers events, etc. These are relationships formed over a number of years by women/families all in the same boat... and thus, as a newcomer... it's hard to sometimes break into these groups immediately when a core of them have been hanging out and supporting each other for years. Just because they congregate together outside of the elementary school, doesn't mean they aren't approachable! Other groups in town, like the Wellesley Junior Women's Club do fantastic charity work and is a great way for people to meet - and help the community. You will also find that because a lot of families have multiple children in town, a lot of relationships are formed with older siblings and trickle down as younger ones are born (ie: two Mom's with 3yo's who are already close because their older children are in the same Grade 3 class).

3. Neighborhoods make a difference. Our neighborhood is mostly "smaller" homes that sit on smaller lots. Thus, all the neighbors see each other much more and interact with each other much more. Half our street is homes with elementary-aged kids, so seeing impromptu bike races or some sort of shenanigans unfold around us is common. Some of the houses in town are beautiful, but separated from the others more... or don't have as many children about. These areas will make it harder to "bond" with people than streets that hold block parties and "thirsty Thursdays". When we looked at homes, we make sure to check out various areas in town at different times of the day. We visited a couple of the playgrounds, etc. We got a feel for things that you can't get in listings or at a open house. Quickly we ended up narrowing our search to a particular area as a higher priority than just specs of a house.

Good luck.

[MikePRU]

Originally Posted by timberline742

Funny that town came up, I have a married friend with two young kids (one pre school, one first grade) leaving Stow and one reason was the lack of friendliness and the, what she called, stepford wives clique in so much of the town. They feel like outcasts. She particularly hates things like the back to school nights and the snobbishness (my words, hers were more descriptive) of so many of the moms in the town.

I know they're looking to Maynard, but not sure where else. They'd like to go back to VT, but can't due to jobs.

That's the thing . . . snobishness is all relative. There's always someone who makes more money than you and who you will perceive as less modest than you. I can guarantee it. I'm sure the people in Orange, MA think the people in Athol are snobby and neither one of those communities are well to do. Similarly, I'm sure the folks in Wellesley think the people of Weston are snobs.

Originally Posted by BostonBornMassMade

https://www.census.gov/quickfacts/ta.../2501735215,00
19.9% of the population of Lexington was asian as of 2010.

Its Asian population has been growing rapidly. I'd say its about 25% Asian as of 2016.


Enrollment Data (2013-14) - Lexington (01550000)
As of the 2015-2016 school year 35.1% of the school district is Asian, 51.8% is white.

People have to stop posting totally false statistics in C-D. Where you got 5-6% Asian for Lexington i have no idea...

I think you need to go back and re-read my post as it had nothing and I mean absolutely nothing to do with the Asian population of Lexington. I have no idea where you got that from, but I thank you for being totally and completely wrong when you said I was spreading "totally false statistics." Thanks for unnecessarily insulting me.

The facts I presented about the JEWISH populations of Wellesley and Weston are accurate and as far as I can tell were gathered from a reliable source. I cannot post the link because I would call this site a competitor to C-D and that's against forum rules. I do have to admit that I did not actually confirm the stats by going out and counting all the Jews in Wellesley and Weston.